Discouraged. Disheartened. To the point of feeling deluded.
Of all the promises and the facades deliberately created to construct this community. At a point I was even moved, motivated, inspired. I was made to feel the urge to contribute, to play a part, to make changes.
Most importantly, I
truly felt, in the sincerest my heart could speak of, the urge to contribute, to play a part, to make changes.
When they say don't stop dreaming, because you'll never know, your dream may come true one fine bright sunny day.
Yes my dream did come true, except that it is one dark glum stormy night.
What, a contrast.
Call me a sour grape as you may, part of me is calling me so anyway. What I do not understand is why some people are denied their chances to prove their worth, when the importance is not even on merits? Sure, it is all about presenting yourself in an interview setting.
So why, oh just slam me with the reason why, is there even a need to 'shortlist' people based on nothing but black words from the application form, when the whole idea of selection is to find a person who can best carry the responsibility, and not pushing for academic excellence.
If the selection is based on the urge to serve, I have all my emails of active feedback to back me up. If the selection is based on the proficiency of English (as their mediocre minds read from the online application form), I do not and will not fare any worse either. Now I can proudly say this because prior to submission I have proof-checked and quality enhanced many times.
This part of me who still yearns to serve is getting increasingly annoying to the other, the more evil, half. I am not wrong to say all of us who applied deserve a chance to articulate our desires and vie on equal grounds. The eventual champion can then be 'legitimized'. It is disheartening to finally know the type of system they employ, to see that in the process of randomly shortlisting people some who wants the post for the wrong reasons could over-shadow the others with a genuine heart.
It makes me wonder, if my minuscule ability is ever going to make any changes to the tortoise-reflex management even if I got through the interview, assuming I have got the chance to argue my point through in the first place.
