Monday, July 31, 2006 23:08
listening to You Raised Me Up - Josh Groban
***
i used to find the lyrics touching. and i still do.
some years ago, someone raised me up.
the irony is, i let that someone down. SORRY.
but i guess both of us lived on happily as well. and that is convincing.
to think that i actually trembled slightly this morning. i got stunned by that question. *laughs*
what i could not understand was, given what i did a few years ago, how could i possibly be at loss for words??
this is really getting ridiculous. im thinking of HIM? nonsense.
***
alright. force myself to put him aside first. on the whole, today was quite interesting. my morning was 'adventurous' hahaha, wif me unknowingly stationed myself in front of him and mickey mouse!!! thank god therez someone on my right to salvage my ultimate embarrassment.
hurh.
then, when i thought everything was gonna end up boring, mickey appeared in the hawker centre!! :)) itz like almost the first time seeing him appearing there, for his hideout is always canteen, coffeeshop or library. alright, perhaps he's hungry and there are so much food in the hawker centre. mind you, he's a mouse. HAHAHA.
taken from yongyi's msg: how dare you flirt in front of your mickey mouse! he must have this perception now that you are such a flirtatious girl! hahaha! dont you think is amusing?
i was laughing when i say the msg.
Sunday, July 30, 2006 21:00
asean dance. just for one night. and one night it was, to live a night of dreams.
indeed, it felt like a dream. it was so silly of me to have 'swings' for one whole week before the night! i hopped to and fro from deciding to go and not to go. even after i finally bought the silver heels(which at that time, i decided to go) i had swings again. it felt like a chore to dress up and put make up, so i didnt wana go. thanks to yongyi for psychoing me, i put on the blue-violet dress.
BUT!! the dress didnt felt like how it felt a year ago! that means i m FAT-ter! at that instance i almost wanted to take it off. but in the end, after putting my eyeshadow(which i thought was quite satisfactory as it turned out to be how i wanted it and not heavy at all!) i felt like a new me.
so i went.
***
i did not expect sth like that would happen. i mean, i know almost nobody there. mind you, most of them were not going at all. then he came around.
somehow being natural was natural throughout the dance. a point im glad about. alright, i admit, the dance lasted til first love, which was the grand finale.
my reactions and thought needed one night worth of sleep to surface. i never thought of anything during the dance, or even after the dance, when before i entered the female block with the girls that i received flower from him(again). it was onli after i woke up today, when my mind gathered all the scenes from last night and pieced them together, then it struck me.
i started thinking of things i should have not done, things that appeared embarrassing, and of coz, wad he did and said during the dance.
maybe im thinking too much. so, no more thinking ald.
but somehow, certain things he said created a smile in me.
oh no.
Thursday, July 27, 2006 00:11
cheng nuo chang chang hen xiang hu die
mei li de fei pan xuan ran hou bu jian...
suo yi, gei na me duo cheng nuo gan shen me ne?
jin guan cheng nuo you duo mei
zhuan yan jian ke neng xiao shi
dao zui hou, shou shang de
shi zi ji
***
RAWR! how come the teachers like thurs so much?
virtually almost everything is due thurs!
my minutes, maths test, chem test, WR compilation, blablabla
give me a break man
or at least, dun push everything to the same day!
i only have 24hrs a day!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 00:41
finally finished my eom. it's obviously not well done, but i cant care anymore. there are so much to do. hahaha ironic since im here blogging.
hmm. despite the pressing amount of things to be completed, im still as happy.
lalala.
suddenly came to realization, that liang jingru's 'yong qi' feels so different today. good song, with good and extremely meaningful lyrics. my roomate and i were nodding in agreement to what the lyrics say.
class photo taking tomorrow. oops correction, itz 24 hours from NOW.
i should get up early to stone in front of the mirror again :)
life is such wonderful thing that ever happened to me.
it doesnt take a million dollars to smile:)
Monday, July 24, 2006 15:06
the moment i woke up this morning, i somehow knew today would be a good day for me.
a smile made things even better. i smiled.
indeed, it has been a good day for me so far.
and yes, even though i have to work extra super hard today to make up for the work undone, i'll do it with more smiles:):):):)
i'm in the sky, im in the clouds, im over the rainbow.
i know this is going to sound egoistic, but heck it, im a leo(i mean my zodiac) and so im born this way. i know im greedy at times, but im glad im not this time.
we shared moments in the sky, in the clouds, and played somewhere over the rainbow.
and we braved long distance in heavy storms.
so when you promise me of a clear blue sky for infinity period of time, u lifted me up, away from sorrow grounds.
when you promise me of a never-ending spring and summer with big round sun all the time, i confess, i nearly wanted to take your hand.
you promised to paint a smiley face on the sun that shines for us.
come on, you really got my heart thumping for you, at least for that moment.
but i cant lie. not to you. i cant just take your hand and take all your promises.
i may have all the flowers and birds, and all the springs and summers.
but i cant promise you anything.
it is not fair this way.
the sun u promised was indeed appealing, but there is no more room for it. im sorry.
im glad there's always a torch for me when i need it.
im even happier to know that im actually what you said i was.
that must be the best thing i've ever heard:)
but i cant be greedy and possessive. i cant keep the torch for infinity.
it's time to pass the torch to someone else more worthy of it than i am.
promise me, ok?
your call really made my day, but i disappointed you once more.
but smilez, alright? :)
i felt so honoured when you told me how much im worth. i truly am.
and you're an angel too, with arms always ready to pull us away from misery.
look around you. and you'll realize how much others care about u.
im in the sky, im in the clouds, im over the rainbow.
simply because you brought me there.
BUT this should be our last flight together.
i will always be in the sky, in the clouds and over the rainbow
and i'll meet you somewhere there.
Sunday, July 23, 2006 20:32
i must blog about this.
i am FAT-ter now.
dont look at me with those big eyes and with that sceptism
because this IS true.
believe it. i couldnt believe it at first either.
so the story goes like this.
evon and i were walking/shopping around suntec-marina sq. there was this $20 top in zara which fascinated both of us. we were walking out of zara and contemplating abt whether we should buy anot. hahaha and im happy i controlled myself! see? i have self control ok! tsk tsk.
after much walking/browsing we found this 3/4 denim pants which was quite nice, so we decided to try on just for fun. but we kind of liked it alot, and kept asking the lady for better fit sizes and better designs. and here comes the story.
when i took the first pair of jeans i thought i took size 25. i went into the fitting room and realized it was abit loose fitting, but felt right. so i asked the lady to pass me one size smaller, and whoa! i couldnt fit in! i looked at the size, and it said "26"!!! i was puzzled and asked the lady for the previous pair. i flipped it, and saw a big "27"!!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!! i couldnt even fit into that 26!!!!!! and evon was making such a big fun out of it! RAWR!!!!
i cant believe it. im wearing 27??!
i went to evon's plc just now, and saw that 27 again. it was so big la!
i really wonder, am i dat fat?
things start flying all over in my world. my world is totally absent of gravity.
which includes the gravitational force that once pulled u to me. or me to u.
00:31
i relived my days in vj today. ecp felt so familiar.
and yet i must say,
IM NOT THE GIRL I WAS. anymore.
things change. people change. i change. u change.
so when he told me he's going back onli the day before he went back, i started thinking, was i that not worthy of u informing me much earlier than that?
but NOW i wont be harping on that question just to find out that i mind his actions. wad im thinking now is that he must have moved on, just like me, and leading a good, if not better life.
people have to move on regardless of what kind of memories the present gives. they have to step into the future. so what if the present is so pleasant and u feel like in a dream, for only dreams can provide u with such happiness? u still walk on, for time waits for no man. oh, that includes woman too(if u realize what i mean). if bad things befall, worry not. good stuffs await u somewhere in front of u, so all u've got to do is to step out, and continue walking, and you'll reach them. soon enough. this is adapted from cheechin's luck circulation theory, which i think is a really good way to console oneself.
or just merely bluffing?
i saw isaac on9 this morning. how much we've grown! we were joking abt girls and he asked "why dont u ask me to get u instead of your friends?" that totally threw me off guard. but i onli replied "im just not good at selling myself. im better in selling others."
that qn sounded really familiar. 3 years ago he asked the same qn and i denied him of the chance. i wonder what would have happened if he got his chances. maybe it would just end up the same. i gave it to somebody, and we still ended up that way. i wont say we screwed it up tho. at least i WAS happy :)
so i guess this is a very mutual thing. it happens at the right moment, right place, right person. u cant ignore and u cant forget.
this post is SO nonsense. so INTRON. yeah itz a piece of intron. i wish therez the enzymes(hell i forgot their names) to cut out those introns and piece the exons together so that i'll be more useful.
Thursday, July 20, 2006 22:03
im SORRY guys. sth is wrong wif me today. so if i've offended u in any way i apologize for my impoliteness.
maybe i appear arrogant to somebody. on normal days i wont be like that simply coz im not. but today, i wouldnt care abt wad i say or what i do. simply because i dun care. dun have the mood to even care. dun have the mood to conduct myself properly.
put it in a simpler way - this is NOT a normal day for me.
so im sorry again if i've offended u.
sorry.
Monday, July 17, 2006 23:03
oh man. what got into me today?
well yeah i called. but for no reason.
huh perhaps i was just too bored.
perhaps... perhaps
perhaps i should just flick my hair, look in front, and say "WOW there are so many cute ones out there. why waste time on someone unworthy? i should just move on and let someone more competent catch up."
how CONFIDENT. and confidence is something terribly lacking in me now. i wonder how, i wonder why.
maybe itz cowardice. itz cowardice that pulls me back. despite the strong urge to move on, it just pulls me back. alright admit it ivy. u just never try. u let cowardice take over you. you never fight for yourself.
am i that loser?
Sunday, July 16, 2006 23:40
thank you thank you a BIG THANK YOU to those who wrote me the bdae card wishes.
and i must say the drawings are super pretty! i love it so much THANKS!
i din know my bdae was included in the celebration list!
herez personal thanks to those who bothered to write sth on the piece of green card (the first thing in green i like):
yongyi - hey woman! yeah im one yr older le but seriously, do i actually look that old? lolz. thanks man! that was SWEET.
wenxin - thanks a million. really. been nice knowing u. we must talk MORE!
jessica - hey same to u too! let stay cheerful, happy, funny together! yeah we must really watch another scary movie tog. that night was a real blast man! one qn, did u manage to sleep?
namisha - im really sorry i cant really match your names to your faces! BUT BUT i definitely know u for sure! and im sure i've talked to u b4. you guys are really fun ppl to talk with... and i love to talk hahaaha.
nadine - haha! i guess correctly! u are anastatia! hahaha. thanks so much girl!
pear - vijitra! see i remember ur name. i was surprised when u sent me the early bdae wish u noe. really. thanks. and yes u r early again so i expect another bdae wish when itz really my bdae lol!
junli - thanks a million! we must talk more... but we dun usually see each other ard much...
khoon hiang - yo another ipoh girl! i din noe until we ended up in the same skul! thanks.
namrata - thanks a bunch yeah! wait til i finally get ur names right... feel so guilty now haha.
and those who wrote msgs but din sign off, thank you to you all too:)
the one who wrote abt mickey mouse.. hahaha i still cant guess who u are... maybe i've told so many ppl... but i shall find out.
hahaha.. what a way to end my day:)
Saturday, July 15, 2006 23:08
shall we talk? im not sure abt that
when things go wrong, who has the right to blame others?
is it the victims?
and who are victims but those who victimize themselves?
***
i must say, coincidences really happen everywhere. today, on my way to parkway, i saw yenyang boarded the bus! ok itz nothing la, but very coincidential, dun u think?
anyway the food fest there was simply WOW. disclaimer: those who are not ok wif malay food go there at ur own risk. but i bought 2 bucks worth of otah and oh man! they are really finger licking good! oops i hope kfc doesnt come after me and ask for copyright...
a new sasa is opened in parkway! that means i'll frequent that place more. and MORE.
actually i've been going there as if itz my home lar..
12:14
alright yongyi, u win. i couldnt get up this morning to eat bfast lolz.
Friday, July 14, 2006 23:38
for the third time in five days, i went to parkway AGAIN.
and this time i din buy anything. i mean, i dont count food as one of the 'thing'.
which explains why i spend so much on food.
some interesting things i saw in parkway:
therez this pasar malam thingy there. itz more of a food fest for malay food. so along the walkway from bus stop to parkway there were many stalls, mainly malay-owned, selling food(and really nice food) such as keropok lekor, fishball, burgers etc. i spotted this 'you tiao with sotong filling'. man i dare say it looked the most appealing! if it was not priced at 2 bucks(which is damn ex according to me, the opportunity cost is just too high) i would have grabbed a few.
haha, and he li couldnt pronounce keropok lekor. speaking of keropok lekor, it reminds me of the east coast trip. hmm guess we had alot of those along the way :) wonder if those here are as tasty as those back there? i guess not. maybe i should try tmr? can anyone tell me if itz ex coz itz one dollar for four?
aqua massager. literally using water. so cool, although i still think the gadget looks abit like coffin. itz a coffin-like thingy, whereby u just lie head down, and your body will be covered by the 'coffin'. they give u a headphone, and switch on the switch -.-' ok and water start squirting at high speed. of coz u wont be wet -.-' as there is this bag covering ur body. but the impact of water is still clearly felt. i saw the whole process! my screaming legs from one day's walk wanted to go into the 'coffin' but i forbid them to. coz i know i would be wriggling inside the 'coffin' the minute water starts squirting!
this cleaning auntie used brumop(meaning broom that is used as mop) to clean some dirt on the floor. imagine an ordinary broom, and it is attached to a piece of cloth that functions as a mop. yeah that's the idea. she was doing it in front of me and i witnessed the entire process. WOW how amazing. we can save money on buying mop in future.
now i got stomachache. toilet time.
Monday, July 10, 2006 19:47
here i am, alas!
world cup ytday was super boringggg man! there was almost nothing to see, save for the 1-1 in the first half. then, starting from the second half i was sleeping. ok, i wasnt alone. khoonhiang and shi-ning were there with me and the three of us each slept on one sofa, enjoying the breeze. the match was super boring!
but i woke up just in time to see zidane being given a red card. tell u, it was really amusing. this italian pulled his shirt(i think) and he shoved him away. but after a mere few steps zidane turned back and jammed his head into the italian's chest! the latter fell onto the ground. then the referree din see it(what a referree) but in the end gave zidane a red card after other italian players insisted on what happened.
my goodness.
i wonder what was in zidane's mind when he did that. it was his last match. and that was the way he ended it?
so italy won the cup this year. claps for the italians! although deep inside i still wanna see brazilians kissing the cup. huh. the finale was so touching. they played the beachboys song (i forgot the name oops). i rmb playing that song in nycb oso, but somehow it sounded more grand last night (ok, this morning). perhaps itz the happy faces i saw. perhaps itz the snow-like paper pieces flying ard. but it was definitely grand and touching. especially when the captain lifted the cup. everybody lifted the cup.
they entered the competition just to see this day coming. some had to go home, and left their dreams unfulfilled. some came to near, and yet so far, just because of one goal, or another penalty shot. but it is definitely a day to remember for the italians, for itz the day they clinched the cup, and the day they saw their dreams right before their eyes. how cool can that be?
***
i think im sufferring from world cup withdrawing syndrome O.o now that the last match is over, i have almost nothing to look forward to at night. there will be no more world cup talks, and one common topic has just disappeared. one month has passed, just like that.
somehow i feel sad. but im sure this month has given me enough memories, bittersweet.
i'll remember the anxiety we had while looking at the ball inside the penalty area.
i'll remember cheering with the rest when a goal is scored.
i'll remember the anticipation.
i'll remember the disappointment when the teams i supported got booted out.
and i'll definitely remember the handsomes on the field.
four years more, and i'll experience that all over again.
where will i be then?
Sunday, July 09, 2006 13:40
i decided not to go tj tonight. although i said i wouldnt watch anymore matches. i believe that is what many people feel when all the teams they supported got kicked out. yet they will still continue to watch the semis and the final, simply becoz itz world cup. final match marks the end of the once-in-four-years fever, and most of us would wanna be part of the event.
but im not going tj tonight. i guess i'd just watch it in the hostel, or better, in mcd. provided therez somebody who is willing to go wif me of coz.
***
im not gonna be let down the second time. u think u are so impt? go ahead and live in ur own world. im not any primary skul kid who thinks u are my support. my skeleton is my support now.
so long. au revoir.
it feels good to have freedom at your hands. there is no such thing as cant live without somebody. u can always live because the only person u live for is yourself.
Saturday, July 08, 2006 11:49
now i get to on9. the wireless in my room is going haywire. so i got lan instead from my dear roomate. and freak i forgot to recharge my batt so i've gotta use the adaptor here. and guess what? therez only one powerpoint! therefore im sitting here, in this hot spell, trying to improve my WR.
what a pain to take PW.
***
it was jersey day ytday! so u see people in various coloured jerseys of various football club and countries. of coz as expected, beckham's will be the majority. not only jerseys, but tshirts with the colours of the countries we support were also allowed. so in conclusion, tj looked like a football carnival ytday. haha. and i got a jersey from kaigai, itz spain's. but i din wear coz it was simply too big! oh man, wearing that will completely cover my skirt. haha and people kept asking me why i din wear my jersey? i had to repeat myself for the (n+1)th time, "because i'll look like a hanger!" lolz.
then the skul announced a half day off on monday, in view of the finals. WOW. and skul only starts at 12. so i presume we will get some sleep in the morning, after the excitement during the match? hardly. i mean, if i go to sleep, i wont be able to wake up and go to skul at 12. most probably i'll wake up at 12, to realize that oh, im late, and fall back to slumberland again. i really feel like skipping that day, if not for the stupid welfare meeting in lt2 at 1545. basket. and i somehow became the welfare rep of my class. huh? haha. nothing bad actually, just that u noe, getting the class to do something together is really a painful task. and seems impossible for my class.
for the first time, i find something fun and enjoyable in tj. ok not for the FIRST time, but itz like finally the skul is having some fun. well a good start, dont you think? aft all the times and things we shared, tj is not that bad after all, iznt it? anyway, i have frens everywhere.
and of coz, mickey mouse. ha! got cha!
***
and for the first time, i saw him eating breakfast during weekends! alright, maybe he always eats, just that im too busy sleeping to care abt going down to eat. haha.
Sunday, July 02, 2006 14:35
first thing first. im so NOT gonna watch world cup anymore. this year is so SO disappointing. to think that i actually stayed up and traded my sleep for looking at 22 ppl running after a ball. *rolled eyes*
the hostel let us go to mcd to catch those few matches in the quarterfinals. and two days ago, argentina lost to germany. that is so absurd. ARGENTINA LOST TO GERMANY!!!!!!!! and that kick-ass-damn-his-brain referree was so stupid. if i was not wrong, he gave the wrong yellow card to the argentinian player! i din rmb his name, tho. damn him, cock eye freak! stop blowing ur irritating whistle man.
england vs portugal. 1-1, and england lost the penalty shootout. oh man. beckham was substituted coz he injured his leg i think. and that referree gave rooney a RED CARD! what the hell! so many people were there trying to get the ball and rooney was one of them only! it was purely an accident ok. not that he meant to kick the other's reproductive organ la! and rooney could have scored during the additional time if he was still there. rawr. there were so many opportunities alright. and worse, crouch substituted j.cole!!!!!! that pair of chopstick legs! he just wont make anything good out of the passes to him! all he knows is to obstruct others and fall flat on the ground, and let portugal players intercept.
and the worst of last night. brazil vs france. it was a really good match. it was fast, so much to see. and finally yongyi agreed with me that kaka is cute! but good-lookingness doesnt help this time. the french defence was strong. actually both teams were strong. so many near goals but managed to get kicked away by both teams defenders. good match, good players, but disappointing results. france won brazil one nil. that means kaka is going home. without even making it into the semi finals.
so the semis are gonna be germany vs italy, and france vs portugal. all the football legends are going home instead. what is this!!??!! every single team i supported was OUT! damn! f*ck! rawr!
what is world cup without brazil in the finals? im so not going to watch any match. i dun bloody hell care who is winning the cup this year. italy? france? portugal? germany? u want then u take lo.
***
despite the above, i enjoyed watching the match live in mcd with all avid fans and supporters together under one roof. we were sitting so close together. it creates a temporary community, where people come together for one purpose - football. we experience the joy, the anxiety, and the disappointment together. it makes us equal, in that two hours. and girls definitely dont lose out to the guys! ha!
and i spotted another cute guy on the field last night. portugal player c.ronaldo. which makes one wonder if all ronaldos are born to the football field. haha. he was so handsome on the field! tho i dun like portugal, i cant deny the fact that i like him! that makes the list of cute guys in world cup, according to me, is:
beckham
kaka
c.ronaldo
lee chunsoo (he is not the handsome kind, but the ke ai kind)
itz true. football gets the world talking.
***
speaking of cute guys, i just met mickey mouse on my way back to hostel just now. i saw him from far, but i din look at him directly, no matter how much my insides want to. he hasnt appeared during meal times for so many days! he was walking wif his head constantly looking down. and yongyi said it was because i was in front of him. *wails* i didnt look at him explicitly ald! can he like lift up his head and let me just coincidentally look at him occasionally? i wonder where he was going. he was alone. meeting girlfriend? then i wonder if his girlfriend is a malaysian too. could be direct scholar too, since i dont think she is from tj.
well, at least meeting mickey mouse made my day brighter.
