<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d12351029\x26blogName\x3dpixie-lies\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://pixie-lies.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://pixie-lies.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d2235312293706763050', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Tuesday, May 31, 2005 19:14

i wonder, and wonder, wad life actually means to me. u noe, living in a world which is accelerating in such an alarming speed, where everything we do is for our tommorrow(erm.. did i spell correctly?), and leave so little time for ourselves to juz do wadever we want, tend to lose itz meaning to me. for times i've dismissed the idea of looking for a meaning for life as an excuse to slack, but now, wad am i actually putting in work for? can anyone ans?
*****
i noe ppl will say "itz for ur future. for ur own good." blablabla.
do we know our future? we work for a better tomorrow, but how do u know if therez a tomorrow for u? there will be one day which we will nvr have any tomorrow. and that will be the day ppl regret the most. bcox all the while they've been working for tomorrow, but they only have today on dat very special day.
*****
for all my life i've been achieving or attempting to achieve a certain target. and every time my target is so far. able to achieve, good. fail, the target juz moves further. but i've nvr worked for today, which is the nearest to me. i m here, in a foreign piece of land, 8 hrs drive from a place which i call home. home, such a familiar yet far word to me. wad m i doing? y m i so far from my parents? my family? they are like solid mountains, always there for me, providing me a warm place to hide, to smile, to cry.
*****
and yet i m here, so far from them. wad if i dun have tomorrow anymore? then the place which i m standing on will be the most hated place in my life.
i know wad is impt. my home, my family. they come first.

18:54

ok, i finally summonned all my remaining courage and called dad. well, i think he's super disappointed with me. i wont be surprised if he is. i'll be surprised if he's not.
how did i land into diz mess, i wonder. haiz, therez really nobody to blame, except for me, myself, my foolishness and dumbness. really. other ppl commit stupid mistakes all the time; i'm juz the opposite. i m quite careful, but once i m careless, i'm in trouble.
i dunno who reads diz blog, and i dun care. but whoever who reads diz can juz ignore me.
*****
wad have i done 4 the past few months and years? i m so disappointed with myself, so pissed with myself. well, i've done something wrong, and i admit it. but wad follows diz is disappointment.
i dun wish to talk anymore.

let me continue to be the shadow, at least for now.

Sunday, May 29, 2005 16:57

yaya i m blogging again... as today is a very boring day for me. no no. i think my day starts at 8pm. hehe... cox got infernal events. ooh.. the andy lau and tony leung movie. story of an undercop meets a gangster disguised in police force. cool rite? but i've watched the whole series ald. the whole original one. without translations which suck in the end. i noe it. y does singapore bother to translate? things are always better in their original states! stupid. well, guess i have to accept it, since i'm working for this country dat i'm standing on.
ooh, aft 8, i can go gaga over stephen fung again! ahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!
i still hv to thank sg for showing so many movies starring stephen fung! almost every week! haha, enough to sustain me b4 i go home... omg he is man, shuai, and smashing! oh no i m going crazy again! ahaha so happy dat i'm seeing him later at 9!! XD!
******
speaking of going home, i hv less than a week! muacks! that'll be my new motivation... yes. but i really wonder, will everything be the same? i mean those frens baq there, will they miss me as much as i miss them? are we even close by the time i get baq? i'm quite worried dat i'll be alienated. i hope diz day will nvr happen.
but things always change.

16:29

though i noe dat teachers do read our blogs, i think mine shld be safe fr diz catastrophe gua... cox mine is quite new, and besides, i guess no one knows how to get here... so i dun think any teacher is so smart dat can wade her way here... hahaha... one good thing abt keeping the blog in the dark, is that u can always bitch abt anyone, knowing that they wont come in and tag! yaya, i shall keep diz secretive!
*****
yao told me dat many ppl nowadays own blogs due to trends. very true. actually i dun rmb how come i started diz blog, though. i rmb i registered it during eng class :P maybe i was juz following the trend, or maybe it was juz out of curiosity... who knows? but now, i really appreciate diz blog. i only open diz blog to certain ppl whom i think is worthy enough, or juz, well, doesnt matter if they c wadz written inside. and oso those who understand me. yao said many ppl publicize their blogs for others to tag... then itz really unnecassary. u write wad is personal to u in ur blog, and yet open it up to ppl. itz equivalent to writting ur personal diary, juz to let others read word for word. ironic lo!
*****
i'm glad dat my blog is public to a certain extent. great.

Saturday, May 28, 2005 19:34

hari ini ku cuba menggunakan bm utk tulis blog ni. haha, kerana ku baru mengetahui cikgu kelas ku yg begitu menyampahkan itu mempunyai suatu hobi yg aneh, iaitu membaca blog murid2 dlm kelas. begitu menyampahkan, bukan?
oh, satu orang yg lagi menyampahkan sedang memainkan lagu dgn komputernya. helo! sini kom lab! bukan bilik kamu lah! main apa? eh lagu kamu bukan main kuatnya! tukar lagu lagi!
junior ku akan balik nanti. eh, ku pun mau balik! tapi ada kelas cuti... ada tugasan rumah juga... eh... bukan main banyak ni!
haha... ku rasa bm ku ni tak berapa bagus la... haha... sudah satu setengah tahun tak pernah guna... kadangkala ingin cakap sesuatu tapi tak dapat cari perkataan tu... aiyo sungguh menyampahkan! kenapa begini pulak?
tak apa, kalau ku tulis blog dgn bm, ku rasa boleh meningkatkan std melayu ku ni!
hahaha.....

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 16:22

wah, the screen today is so dark. somebody using diz com b4 me muz have reduced the brightness alot. nvm, i changed it baq to normal ald.
*****
today started off raining, quite heavily. wq said my unbrella was scary when we crossed the road. haha. not my umbrella la, itz juz bcox i stopped suddenly, and so happened dat she was walking behind me. i guess her umbrella banged into mine.
anyway, as i was on my way to my class, i saw something that weren't there before. or, maybe, they have been there all the while, juz that it was only this morning that i noticed them. they were bricks. quite surprised to c bricks in a concrete jungle like nanyang... i wonder what they r for. i shall spy on them again when i go to my class tomorrow.
*****
ok, now baq to the main point of me blogging. as u can predict, itz abt test results again. sorry, itz exam,not test. it doesnt make much of a diff actually. great, iznt it great? today, as compared to yesterday, was worse. i cant secure a1 for math d, and only managed to get a b4 for bio! b4!! my goodness! wad kind of grades are these? math, supposedly to be promising, turned out to be disappointing. ha, to think dat i actually hoped for a more "encouraging" day.
*****
i have to admit i cant face losses. shu bu qi. dunno y, i've kicked this habit of mine since pri skul, and lived a happy life since then. and somehow, nanyang juz reminded me of the old ave maria. even the ppl behave similarly. "dotz" i m really very afraid i'll eventually revert baq to my old self, my bad self, when i was in pri skul. i really despise that side of me. and all the while i thot i kicked it off, but now, it comes baq and haunt me again.

i really dun want this to happen. y do i get affected by others so easily nowadays? hallo ivy, diz is onli midyrs.. therez nothing to compare!!!
*****
nothing last forever. u wont be top scorer forever. he wont be ur boyfren forever as well.
nothing last forever, for if it does, there'll be no history.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 16:37

meamore para sempre... *sigh* onli if itz true.世上无绝对, now i know wad it means.
it hurts quite deeply when u find out u r no longer strong in areas dat u r always strong in. oops, sorry, itz were. past tense. i've failed the first subject for midyrs in my entire life. really. not bluffing. no matter how badly and heck-care like results i get in my usual term tests, i had never failed anything in major exams. not until now. announcements: i failed my combined humanities.
******
why do things change? if u call changes as rhythm of life, then wadz the melody? wadz the accompaniment? why do things have to change at times when u dun wan them to? i have nothing to say...

para sempre, forever, but nothing was, nothing is, and nothing will be.

13:27

ok, now i m in lib lvl 4 again. so surprised dat i can actually log on to blogger. haha.
wad more do i hv to say for my day? aiz... wells, din even secure a1 for chinese. haha. so damn disappointed. chem no a1 oso, somore itz the a2 on-the-fence. well, i should say is lucky enough for me. if i commit one more mistake then there goes my chem. well i think my l1r5 is quite gone la, despite me trying to stay neutral.
still, i'm quite happy dat i passed my ss. but now, i feel abit disappointed oso, cox i expected my seq to score slightly higher. but nvm. the rest of my hope lies in my geog. however i still have a bad feeling abt this.
wad more can i say? i've worked for it, and if this is wad they giv me then so be it. at least i'm not guilty of not studying for anything. if wad i did doesnt even qualify me into an A band, then i shall face it.
the nxt paper i'll be getting is my geog. surprisingly i feel calm now. is this a good sign? i dunno.
*********
juz now, zj told me dat i have to go baq for band. wad more can i say? she has ald told me face to face. nothing much can be done. but i really dun wan to go baq. y do they wan somebody who is not playing for wad they're playing for to appear? it doesnt even help. and mid yrs juz over, and they are taking away wadz left behind for me. to think dat i actually came baq fr hols juz to be a receptionist. so great. and now they even want me to go for prac. i'm not even playing for concert. i oso dun wan to play for art fest. y m i always to follow wad others plan for me?

Monday, May 23, 2005 17:35

itz quite alarming to c how the young nowadays behave in public.
not to say dat i'm old, mind u, i'm not even twenty now. but today, as i was on the bus, heading for newton mrt, dreaming on the bus. then, a sudden, coarse yet sharp voice shot out from behind. of cox, it woke me up from my daze. i couldnt fathom wad he said, so i turned ard, so as other passengers. then he shouted again "eh stop ar!" oh, so he was asking the bus driver to stop so dat someone else can alight. i looked out of the window. true, the busdriver din even stop for the lady to alight! nothing wrong abt getting the busdriver to stop, so dat others can save the time on walking baq juz becox the driver din stop at the right bus stop. but then, need you yek at him? nid u scream at a driver? he is not a reckless driver aft all... he'z juz another human being, another of our kind, who is very liable to make mistakes. dun tell me dat u r not gonna make any mistakes anywhere?
*****
finally collected my bus tix. yeah, i can go home soon. really waiting for the day to come.... haha.... cant wait... but i dunno how to pack... there r too many things to bring home, n i noe i wont need them here anyway. y not bring them home and let mei2 use it? oh, now i really miss liang2, dunno wad has become of him... and popo... dunno whether her rheumatism comes baq anot... miss dad as well, and of cox, miss my former skul... oops, not skul, but the frens there....

mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Sunday, May 22, 2005 18:28

i noe itz kind of stupid to blog again, when u've juz blogged. well, juz wandering in fs when i was a testi for me to approve. good, some1 rmb me, n write me a testi. it turned out to be fr someone i shall nvr ever forget. a soulmate fr my former skul. so sad dat i actually hv to address poilam as my former skul. dat means i dun belong to the skul anymore. wadever fame and credits i earn now will go to nanyang. inevitably. sad.
******
i have always been wondering wad kind of fren i m. m i there for my pals whenever they nid me? or did i ever do anything that threatens any ongoing frenship? over the years i learnt that frenship is fragile. itz really very hard to find a true fren. u may think u've found one, but u may be disappointed.
i m quite surprised, and happy, that mich actually regards me as "a special fren". walking down the memory lane, i picked up chunks of memories - sweet, happy, girlish, disappointments, regrets, and lastly, saying goodbye. these memories triggered a qn i've always been asking - who is my real fren? living n surviving in a kiasu env like this, itz very hard to establish any true frenship, cox u wont know who is true to u. exactly.

and how sad this is.

17:56

itz another mundane day for me, if simpson din msg me n ask me out. the stupid tv in the bs somehow juz failed to receive signals, so i couldnt even watch the shao nian te gong dui. wow, gr8, i thot, then i can spend my day liao. well, nothing much for me to say... went to westmall popular juz to find out how small the popular is. really, now i understood wad "never judge a book by itz cover" implies. it means "never judge the size of a shop by itz location". the popular in westmall is really serba kurang... cant even find choices for o'lvl books... let alone a'lvl...

so we set off for woodlands on train. haish, if i had known earlier that we r gonna travel so many places, i wouldnt have juz put on a shirt n my red shorts! i would hv worn smth better than that...nvm, zi ran jiu shi mei, datz more impt. the popular in causeway pt was quite ok.. at least we got wad we headed for.. but the book on GP was torn, and itz the last book on the shelves. so we headed for toa payoh instead. the GP bk is really a bestseller, cox we couldnt even find itz shadow in tp popular. fantastic rite? haha. but at least, my day is not futile.
********

Saturday, May 21, 2005 17:20

yesterday was a remarkable day for me. really. i kicked the day off with terrible sneezes(is there such word?), abt 4 or 5 in a row. wow, i thot, somebody is talking abt me then. went to skul as usual, juz to find out dat i was going to get baq my a maths and eng paper. gosh, i thot, datz my day. report on results: not badly done. got a1 for a maths[but not the highest in class :( ] datz above my expectations, and b4 for eng. wells, datz my usual grades for eng anyw. the pure geog and hist ppl gotta stay baq for their papers, but i went out wif y and r, dat is, aft a round of bridge with bella, yuling and joy. haha, yuling called me as her partner, but i din hv good cards to play.
********
went to kfc to have lunch, and wandered along orchard. again. but this time, we talked abt many things - ppl in class, results, depression, studies, IQ and MQ...etc etc. itz really memorable, to think that we actually talked non stop for 1/4 of the day! six hours straight! wow!
********
i really wonder, is it good to be able to judge sb's character juz by instinct? i mean, itz gud rite, at least u get warning b4, and that u wont trust that person too much, so dat u wont appear to be vulnerable. u cannot say dat everyone is shan liang, they wont hurt u. who knows? maybe the person u think is the best might turn out to betray u the most! juz becox u did not observe her. is this called thinking too much? i dun think so, but my fren does. well, diff people prefer diff beliefs.
********
wearing a mask - defending urself or hurting others?
********
we talked abt IQ. y said she's depressed and sad over others' increasing IQ, and that hers is decreasing. i suggested a diff story. do u think IQ in a person can fluctuate? like homeostasis? i dun think so. to me IQ is inborn, r thinks the same too. it wont increase, neither it will decrease. datz wad i said. then it brought us into another aspect - MQ, memory quotient, a phrase i came up with and defined it as memory level of an individual. this, to me, is the same as EQ, as both can be trained and increased. other ppl in class are gaining in grades. this phenomena, i would say, is a result of increased awareness of studying in them, so aft series of studying, wad is in the tb goes into their brains. to be precise, the info rests in their memory. the more u study, the better u'll rmb. this is a very strong evidence suggesting MQ can be increased. results do not necessarily reflect the level of IQ in an individual, but it is a strong backup of the level of MQ.
********
wow, wad we talked abt yesterday were philosophical and deep. *

17:15

went to cut my hair today. ya i've got fringe ald. still, my style doesnt appear to have changed much. juz some additional hair in front. no one will say dat i've got cockroach fringe anymore. yay.

Thursday, May 19, 2005 21:06

today is a hol for me... aih.. feel so slack. anyway, i deserve it. haha. midyrs over ald.
actually i m quite pissed in the first half of the day. i sent a msg yesterday to somebody out of concern, juz to noe when they are gonna be baq, but diz is wad i get:
" (go baq) at nite la. go baq with 2 more frens. if not u go baq alone"

wow, so like i'm so looking forward to go baq with u like dat. so arrogant. i sent the msg to u out of concern onli eh, wad do u think lo? u think everyone wants to go baq with u that they quarrel over u izit? stupidity. egoism. madness.

i m really disgusted by these ppl. think they are the core of the world. everyone is spinning ard them. hey HALO!!! wad abt others? if everyone in the world thinks the same as u... the world would not exist anymore!
go and reflect, pig!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 17:59

olalala~~~ wahaha~~~ i've finished my midyrs!! lalala~~~ cant believe it... aft all the muggings... haha i'm finally free!!! anyway these few days seem to past really fast... i really cant believe dat i've finished wad i m supposed to do! and as for now... i'm gonna do wad i plan to do... hehehe...

went straight to orchard cine aft c lit exam... had the movie 'the interpreter', starring nicole kidman. my gosh she is pretty. the show is, well, quite interesting, and it never fails to keep u awake, cox u wont know when the assasinater springs up out of nowhere and the nxt moment u r dead. or maybe u'll be in a bus, and once somebody gets off the bus the whole thing juz blows up. n u c bodies flying everywhere. gross.
but still, it worths my seven dollars, as compared to other mundane movies dat i've been lured into watching.

" people's voice speaks louder than firing missiles. voices of humanity, can still be heard, no matter how soft it may be. even if it is the slightest whisper"

a very important lesson to learn, despite the peace talks.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 17:09

OMG!! tmr is last paper le! haix... tonite gotta go an xtra mile to get everything into my mind...

y m i always inferior to others? i realised no matter how hard i worked, i m nvr the 1st in anything... i'm not the prettiest, not the smartest, dont top the class in any subject diz yr, even cant study as fast as others! wadz wrong with my brain?? stupidity.

saw my frens on fs, and they told me abt their feelings baq there. had i not accepted the scholarship, i would face everything they face rite now. i wont be any diff fr them. iznt that good? then i wont be a lone ranger here, striving for myself, alone, while others do things together baq there. was the decision wise, i always asked myself. and got the ans as well. i donot regret anything i've done. even if i were to suffer loneliness in some faraway land, i'll juz get thru and done with it myself.

i'm actually very happy dat my frens still tell me wad they did, and wad they r doing and feeling at this very moment. i thot i would be alienated and be in a dist away fr them ald.. bcox i dont share their joke and blablabla. i m very happy, and contented with, to c a few of my frens still msgs me, email me, show me their blog add and stuff. at least i noe, i m not alone anymore. someone out there, sitll thinks of me.

and i'll look forward to meet these people.

the thorn among the roses
Sunday, May 15, 2005 16:51

3 more days to freedom... wad more can i say?

i shall put in my very last bit of energy, and finish diz race. aih, though i was super discouraged somewhere in the middle of the race. all bcox i saw the ca1 marks... wad de hell.. but nvm, dat'll be my future encouragement. my prelim encouragement, my o's encouragement. and everything aft that. sounds like revenge, huh? i'll do wadever it takes to get myself into the top5 jc's, no matter wad it takes. even though it makes me a mugger, i'll mug. of cox i'll still continue with my everyday playing la... wont kill myself juz for jc...

have i always been an arrogant person? i wonder. since young, i m always taught dat arrogance and proudness are everyone's downfall. and now i fell. hard on the ground. but was i arrogant? i always thought that chem is an easy-2-score sub, so i did not put in much additional effort in revising, but channelled most of my time to other weaker subs. my chem results last yr was very satisfying, even though i din study much. note: im not being proud here. but diz yr, everything changes. chem and maths are no longer my forte anymore. why? they r my onli strength... and they let me down. no, correction, i let myself down. looks like i hv to start all over again.

heard of this before? the higher u climb, the harder u fall. but i think for my case, i'll do all it takes to get myself to the peak, and always bring a parachute with me. in case i fall, i wont hit the ground, but hover in the air.
*******
watched bittersweet symphony with xtin today. datz mgs production. itz really nice. all the instrumental ensemble, violin solos blablabla, really captured the audience's soul and mind. the world is full of people, and amongst the ppl, there are talented ones. and they will shine. and i'll be a shadow, in their limelight. no one can c me here in sg, because nobody would notice a shadow. juz like the thorns on roses. they co-exist. juz how many ppl would look at the thorns when there is a beautifully blossomed rose in front of them?

i'm like the thorns, co-existing, and yet not existing.

people wont notice the thorns unless they are pricked by one. as a thorn, i would rather remain a shadow than to prick others.

a boring day...
Saturday, May 14, 2005 21:15

hai.. i'm blogging again... midyrs go away, nvr come another day, midyrs go away, little ivy wants to play (the rain-rain go away tune) aiyo... i've still got 2 more sub to go... yup, great, cox they are bio and c lit. both require memory work. wa i've got 2 split my brain into halves... and stuff them with diff topics of diff subjects.
wednesday. the day i m looking forward to. so much. cox dat day will be my free day. yes... hai and aft that day, i'll be looking forward to 4/06... datz the day for me to go baq home. home... to where i belong....
went to the music room and banged the piano there, with a really hard force. aft that, everything seems lightened. wadever bio wadever c lit... none is heavy anymore. *sigh* i rmb the days when i was forced and dragged out of my house to go for piano lessons. imagine this: a girl is so obsessed with the cartoon on tv, but her mom insisted on her going for music lessons. the girl did not want to, but her mom exercised authority. the little gal had no choice but to succumb to her mom. and that little gal was me. really. not joking. i dreaded music lesson when i was young. other kids attended lessons out of their interest; i was dragged there. i did not understand my parents' intentions and their expectations on me when i was young. i only know that piano lessons means depriving me of my dearest cartoon, n i din like that. i continued music until i was G4, only then i realised the power of music over one's soul. haha, sounds profound, but i can only put it dat way. maybe at that time, i was older, and wiser, and a better player, so i could produce nice music with juz a few swift movements of my fingers. my perception towards music lessons changed. totally.
had my mom not insisted dat i hv to continue music, i would not be me.

depressing thoughts~~
17:30

aih... diz post should be up yesterday... juz becox i couldnt get on9 yesterday... so i decided to bee-late the post... i've got my ca1 results... quite disappointing... msg is 2.57!! and L1r5 got a 14! but c lit is not counted inside la... aft i get my c lit i think it would be better gua... but still, to think that i lost my standard so fast... n i cant pin any hope on midyrs liao... cox i think really, i'm quite finished. all my past forte, are now screwed. y? chem, i used to think itz easy, but diz time, quite badly done... a maths, used to always get a1, but now, dun even know whether can get a2 anot... i've let so many ppl down, including myself... why is everything happening to me this way? maybe itz to punish me for not studying hard enough.

but is there ever anything dat is considered enough? no. not at all. nobody would think dat he ever studies enough. nothing dat i've done is ever enough. not putting enough effort in revising, not being close enough to somebody, not being there when somebody needed me, why am i always the one to give? ok diz starts to sound very selfish. but itz true. since dat incident, i realised that i've nvr taken more than i've given. and ppl juz take. and take. nvr giv. is it my fault now?

why did u say that last time? and why are all the memories coming baq to me now? itz the past.

gr8 day for a headache!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005 17:15

great. so great. last nite i was suffering from sorethroat, which i thought would be alrite today.
i was wrong, obviously. great.
n i get headache during a maths exam. great again. no more a1 for a maths. no confidence at all. haix... mrs wong muz be damn furious and disappointed with me. wad a day for headache. wad a subject for headache. why doesnt it go away and leave my head alone? spastic.

pinkypiggypeeps
Sunday, May 08, 2005 19:50

pinkypiggypeeps
me here!! muacks! tmr is midyr time! still got way to go to finish the entire exam syllabus...
and...to all the mummies in the world... hepi mothers' day!!
*kisses* *hugs*

gosh a day...
Friday, May 06, 2005 15:41

van got gold in syf.. congrats...
gr8, now dat i m left wif 10 chapters to study for ss... i'm juz gonna eliminate 2... n do a lot of maths... i think mrs wong is getting disappointed with me... i really performed quite badly esp aft syf... why? i dunno.itz juz aft syf dat i cant catch the things as fast as before... haiks... wad if i dun get A1 for matz in exams? i'll be screwed... and my bio and chem as well... haiyo...

nvm. study is the best policy. juz make me a nerd for 2 weeks.

stupidpig matron
Wednesday, May 04, 2005 16:53

i know midyrs are coming... dun nid to remind me dat. but the real thing is, everyone i meet everyday reminds me of it! itz still ok in skul, i mean itz a place where u study and study and study. boring but datz the life of a student. haha sounds so tame. have to accept it rite? but wad i cant accept is that even in the boarding skul where i seek sanctuary from, the matrons and tutors do dat to me as well! ok i noe i m now a sec 4, but does dat mean i have no life at all? 1030 pm sharp, she drives me baq to my room, making the lounge an out-of-bound place, and making the tv a forbidden object. why so mechanical? ok u'll say dat i wont study if i watch tv. does dat mean that i'll study if u drive me baq to my room? i'll stone and stone... iznt dat more like wasting time than watching tv? at least u still get a moment of relaxation of the mind...which is wad i guess every one needs, and apparently not allowed by the *authorities*.

wadever.

i juz nid a break, i always tell myself. but in reality, i juz nid to buck up. gosh ivy wad r u talking? english oral tmr!!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005 18:26

okie everyone is mugging for midyrs.. holding their mugs up high...wells, no one would wanna do badly in exams, so itz natural.
i really wonder whether i deserve to be treated dat way. y do ppl hide themselves in front of others? i dun understand y many ppl fake abt their results and blablabla, lying to u abt how badly they do in tests and blablabla... i mean watz there to hide if u do well in certain tests? u've got nothing to lose. the grades r yours. i'll kan bu qi u even more if u put on some fancy masks and act dumb in front of me lo... ppl wont hate u if u r good, but i think alot of them will be disgusted if they c the other side of u. oh wells, y do i see so many masks floating ard me?
someone told me b4 that dat ppl will put on a fake side bcox they felt insecure and vulnerable. they wan2 protect themselves fr being taken advantage by... oh halo! juz how many advantages do u have dat ppl will be interested in? use ur brains la smarties! i really feel intimidated. i dunno which face i c is the true one amongst all the disguise. i dunno whom i can really trust. or maybe, i shouldnt trust any?
i dunno abt that.

memories dat come baq to me.....
Monday, May 02, 2005 17:06

itz always easier for u to say it than for me to do it. is it not always so?

my day started off a nice one, with onli istana performance in mind... well, plus the sotong meal wyquin cooked for me haha... it reminded me of the usual dishes i always eat b4 i came here. haha. i din find them nice - juz normal home food. but 2day, they tasted different. is it bcox i've not been eating any of it for a super long period? i dunno. wells, i'll juz have to rmb the taste and really appreciate them when i go baq. talking abt performance, i got myself into a gr8 scare by forgetting to bring my mouthpiece! oh man! how could i be so so so muddleheaded!!! the rest of the day continued as normal band performance day... nothing much to say abt it.

and then i blogsurfed, and found van's blog. quite a nice background... dunno how she got it one... haiya i m such a useless pig who is really a goon in computer stuff... n i came across diz post, which summoned all my past yr memories baq. sweet and sour. happiness and disappointment. itz always sweet to start off a bgr... esp when u r in a mixed skul, u c alot of choices. but then slowly, it became taxing, and u wished u had nvr begun anything.

why did u walk into my life out of a sudden, and left me carrying such a burden? i really wan2 forget all the quarrels and misunderstandings. all these opened my eyes into another side of ppl dat i've not seen b4... n i could nvr expect to c in u. u said i m not generous enough, u said in bgr we have to giv and take... but juz how many ppl know how much i give? those ppl who comment on me in ruining the relationship, juz how many of them actually SEE wad i've done? no one. all they know is to open their mouths and hurt ppl. n u believe in them. i have nothing more to say.

i promised myself to hold my pride up high, and to forget everything datz not worthy of remembrance.. and ivy, u can do it! waz passed is past, they wont last.

istana performance
16:34

haha istana performance...dunno wad to sae abt it ald... i've tried to get back the band fiesta feelings, but somehow itz juz gone liao... haiz... abit shi1 wang4... but nvm...

Profile
MissyIvy
A Cynic with passion for
the Art of Sarcasm
Chemist in training

Shooting Stars
Do Better Nails
World Peace
AIDS Free
most importantly,
Finish Everything ON TIME! and
try not to be late

Links
Why Clairebear Joyce ShuM Ziewearn Dan Kylie Eug

Melody
Bygones
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • September 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • May 2010
  • June 2010
  • July 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • December 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • June 2011
  • July 2011
  • Credits
    This layout is proudly made by hopmad. Images are from tumblr and flickr. Hopmad did the collage of the images with the help from GIMP and she got the textures from swimchick.