Monday, September 28, 2009 22:33
I am supposed to be filling my head with protecting groups or profit-maxing but there are just a tad too many things already spinning in my mind.
SS tutorial has always been kind-of refreshing for me. It is always awakening to the soul to ponder about issues in life that are already happening yet got overlooked along the way. Today, it was about the good old "
National Identity".
Not too long a time ago a guy from the United States of America came for a short visit to Singapore. After a not-too-long (in fact, it was merely half a day my holy goodness) immersion in this community he let out a comment. He said,"Singapore is kind of diverse, and it looks much like certain parts of the US because you can see just so many people doing just so many things at the same time at the same place."
He was, for your very valuable infomation, inside the National University of Singapore, or more commonly known as the National University of STAIRS.
Anyway, initially I took that comment as a compliment sort-of, but little did I know at the time there was still a next line to come.
"But I still like Malaysia better because there seem to be a more immense culture there this place (NUS) seems to lack."
Just in case you have Short Term Memory, the guy who said that is an American.
Like anyone else, we are entitled to our own personal opinions and he has the right for preference just as everyone else. So have I.
In my extremely humble personal opinion, Mr. US there has made an unfair comparison, and perhaps also a little biased one. Firstly, he has only been on this island for not even half a day when he made that remark. While he is partially right in saying Singapore has a very diverse collection of nationalities which can be compared to the States, he has not exactly seen Singapore as SINGAPORE. What he saw was essentially a portion of the Singaporean community caged within the boundaries of Kent Ridge campus. OF COURSE there are many people doing many different things at the same place, because everybody has different commitments! So tell me, can you really see - I mean SEE - and tell how a country's culture is like, just by looking at the canteen of a varsity campus during lunchtime? How is this a fair judgement then?
Secondly, the comparison between Singapore and Malaysia wasn't made on equal grounds at all. He was in Malaysia as a visitor - albeit a month - with a status so highly regarded. I'm not being sarcastic here, but look. If you go to a place with people constantly running around you, attending to your every need, and taking you out for as much fun as they could ever think of, would you or would you not develop a liking for that place you feel like King? YOU WOULD. And if people constantly take you out to have a first-hand contact with the very community you are visiting, would you or would you not be able to
experience, and in turn,
appreciate that very place after ONE MONTH? Who are you kidding, OF COURSE YOU WOULD! And one more thing; how much culture exactly can you experience in less than half a day, in a busy buzzing varsity canteen with almost everybody running late?
As such I can safely say, Mr. US, you have made an unfair comparison here because the Singapore you judged was a Singapore you perceived from what you saw over a very short period, but the Malaysia you compared with, was a Malaysia you've experienced.
(And a
good impression they deliberately tried so hard to portray)
I reiterate, I am not being sarcastic. Who-ever believes in me?
We've discussed, that the lack of a national history due to a relatively young nation is one of the main contributing factor to the perceived lack of national identity in Singapore. Singapore has only been a nation for 40 odd years, so what's so much to identify with the country, when there hasn't been enough time for happenings to consolidate into national history, right? I really agree to this point. Seriously.
I mean, Malaysia doesn't exactly fare so much better on this matter. Asked myself, what's so Malaysian about me, and to my dismay I could say none. Do not scorn at me you brothers and sisters of my home country, but ask yourself - place your hand over your heart and search your soul - what exactly is SO MALAYSIAN about you? When I say SO MALAYSIAN, I mean not things like "I speak Mandarin with a Malaysia accent" or other trivial stuffs. I mean things that make a difference.
Can't answer, can you?
So you, listen, do not go about criticizing other countries about the lack of a national identity because we have none. Do not go about telling other people that some certain countries are weak etc and could not fend for themselves because they have no water no food no everything and have to rely on MALAYSIA. You who think your country (unfortunately mine too) is THE BEST and ABOVE ALL OTHERS are just ignorant. Do you seriously think that some certain countries are made up of snobs? I'll tell you blatantly that the biggest snob I have ever encountered in my entire life, came from where you are currently residing. So who's the pot calling the kettle black?
I don't know about you, but I've always find it humiliating when people who share my nationality do things that disgrace the reputation of Malaysians as a whole.
Thursday, September 24, 2009 19:47
Sometimes it makes me wonder if I am really such a bitch, because it appears as though I complain all the time. Then again everytime I reflect on my actions, I find the problem isn't with me at all.
Remember the time when I told you "OKR is horrible/sucks/bad condition/totally inhabitable"? But then after awhile (read: it was actually A LONG TIME) there were improvements so my stay here became bearable.
Yet this improvement was terribly short-lived.
On Tuesday morning when I was about to take my shower I was greeted by this disgusting mess in one of the shower cubicles. I safely assumed that it would be cleaned when the cleaner does her routine JOB, so I did not give much thoughts into it. But
TWO DAYS LATER - which is TODAY, evening time - the same thing was still there staring at me. I could not take it any longer, so I decided to snap pictures as evidence - that I'm not stirring up shit and being a baby and complain about everything. Because this is seriously screwed up.
This is the pane where we put our shampoo and everything we need for shower. How on earth is ANYBODY able to put anything on it without throwing up at the sight of it?!???!
The same cubicle. HOW IS ANYONE GOING TO TAKE HER SHOWER INSIDE THIS PLACE STEPPING ON THIS FLOOR??!???!!!!!
For your very valuable information (just in case you missed it above), what you saw in those pictures has been around for TWO freaking days. Nothing was changed.
And you might wonder - just as I did for a split second - HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I'll tell you why.
Simply because the cleaners did not clean my toilet. For two days.Look. I know their job is difficult. It's something I wouldn't want to do too, so being a civilized civilian I always try my best to not make matters worse for them, by doing my part to keep the toilet clean. But I have noticed this trend from a few weeks ago. On some random day in the week I will find the toilet different, and bitch please, it is not that hard to tell that it hasn't been cleaned for the day.
I mean, if you have been using the same toilet for weeks, you will definitely notice if the cleaning hasn't been done for the day. Unless you are a retard, that is.
Frankly speaking, I have thought of reflecting this issue to the management. Time and time again I dismissed it, on the account that it's a job most people shun away from and these cleaners should somehow be creditted for their courage.
But not cleaning the toilet for TWO DAYS?!?! That is good to say you get paid for doing nothing for TWO DAYS?! Nah nah nah, this bitch here isn't gonna tolerate that.
I mean, you are A CLEANER. Cleaning is YOUR JOB, and you freaking get PAID for it. Everybody knows when you get paid, you do job. So what exactly is your reason for not cleaning for two days, TWO DAYS huh?
How do I know you haven't been cleaning other cubicles? Well I'll show you.
I said before that both pictures above are from the same cubicle, and they have been there untouched for two days. Notice how much hair is found on the drainage in the second picture? Normal people at the sight of this obnoxious mess would NEVER take her shower in that very cubicle. So the hair must have already been there BEFORE the mess was made. That's evidence #1.
Here is #2:
Even if all of us are either balding or have hair loss problems, and
IF you did your cleaning job today, there is still
NO reason for THIS MUCH hair to be found on the drainage cap. This, is another cubicle.
I am no three year old. I am a full-grown 21 year old undergrad, bitch.
You know what Imma do? This bitch here is gonna send email to both my RAs AND the management office.
Hope you still keep your job, mamma.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009 13:00
Maybe she hates me.
Or maybe not.
Either way, I was so over-charged for the lunch I bought and I was stupid enough to not make any noise about it. Not even a squeak.
Seriously, I mean,
SERIOUSLY? SGD2.70 for 1-meat-2-vege lunch in a takeaway(
and grossly ugly) box? Are you trying to tell me I look filthy rich in an "
exasperatingly sloppy" outfit? Or are you just belittling mah intelligence thinkin' ah wouldn't know a shit what you were doin' and pay up like an idiot?
But then the reality was, I paid a freaking fifty cents extra for nothing.
I know, I know, people are paying at least three dollars for their meals outside. But HELLO this is
N-U-S we are talking about here, and three dollars is reserved for exquisite food that you eat only if you're feeling freaking rich or you haven't eaten for days.
Urgh. What more could I say, other than to slap myself for being "
as meek as a mouse".
To make matters worse, the food inside quickly disappoints a hungry stomach as soon as the box covered was taken off.
So much for paying more.
SO MUCH FOR BEING A LOSER AND AN IDIOT.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009 22:23
This is a normal post turned emo.It was Malaysia's 52nd (and my sister's 18th) birthday yesterday. Given the recent headlines Malaysia made, I would not loudly proclaim Malaysia as my pride. Yet, Malaysians will know, whenever Hari Merdeka or festive seasons draw near, we will definitely see heart-warming advertisements on TVs - advertisements that tell stories so real, so true, so close to our hearts and so impossible to forget. The mere thought evoked this sudden nostalgia that has been hidden inside for years, and the feeling just overwhelmed me like a tap turned on.
With this sudden thought in mind, I decided to Youtube "iklan hari kemerdekaan" which means Independence Day Adverts. Little did I know, I went from nostalgic to suicidal afterwards. Just kidding. Then I Youtubed Yasmin Ahmad - the director of the advert I saw, and to my delight I could watch all the clips she made as a playlist!
If you do not know Yasmin Ahmad, think again. Remember the touching confessions of a remorseful workaholic son, talking to his aged mother about moving in with him? Or the scene at an old folk's home where a few aged mothers boasted about their children's businesses and salaries, yet in the end none of them came, except the lady whose son drove only a Proton Saga, yet who brings his mother along in all his trips? And how about the one where two old men who met at the hospital recounting their fond childhood memories - of those kinship and warmth we were once so familiar with, that got overlooked and forgotten along the way in our pursuit of greater standards of living?
Those adverts, just to name a few, were Ahmad's works. And impactful ones too. Somehow talents do die young, and with her passing, our next Chinese New Year or Hari Raya or Merdeka Day will never be the same again.
Watching those clips playing back to back just constantly reminded me of my being away from home for every festival.
Almost every festival. They reminded me of the holidays I spent in Singapore - those times where I could have gone home to accompany my family, my grandmother especially, instead of staying back in the name of studies. Those quality time have all been wasted, in my blind chase for a better life!
My grandmother, she must already be sleeping now. For as long as I can remember, she always sleeps beside me, or around me. When I was little, I slept beside her. When I grew up, we slept in the same room. But as I grew up even more, I began sleeping at a good 300 miles away from her.
When I look back at these years I've been away, yes, I've gained. Yet, I've lost, and I've lost those precious times with her - those times that can never ever be replaced. Suddenly, I feel so alone, in my own room, on my own bed. Where the world to me, there's only me left.
Such is the night where that beating muscle of mine gives way to loneliness and grave remorse, and such is the night I feel so physically distant from her.
