I am here now, especially disgusted by my very own insincerity and selfishness - or should I rephrase as hypocrisy.
I have always had mixed feelings when I see that familiar number flashing on my phone screen, screaming at me to pick it up else get screamed at. Surprises don’t fail to come from the other end of the line whenever I answer, and this time - oh what’s new - “Can you come down ah?”
“Oh training ah? Can lah.” I thought I heard a little quiver of reluctance at the end of my reply, yet I convinced myself it was too subtle for my recipient to pick up.
The teachers were indeed right when they told us not to
assume anything. Naturally I thought (I refuse to use ASSUME) it would be powerpoint presentations and animations of things that look all the same again, when I heard the word ‘training’. But no, no, no.
“On work-free days you can go and ENJOY the food and join the training.
(Suddenly, as if my recipient remembered something)
Oh and since you will be there, you can help with the cooking and marketing!”
It was such a donkey of me to think it was going to be powerpoints. NO. This time I am supposed to travel a few hundred kilometres to COOK, to MARKET and to be a HOUSEWIFE (I actually wanted to type MAID). Honestly, I would rather sit in front of the laptop when everybody is asleep and make the powerpoint work, than to travel a few hundred kilometres and COOK.
To add on to my series of unfortunate “
surprises”, the ‘training’ of question isn’t at all for blokes with a knack for electric and electronic stuffs, but rather a MISSIONARY training. I must now emphasize I see every religion as equals, as long as they preach the right values. But to sit around and be expected to give opinions regarding the same subject, and be expected to sound intellectual all the same, just doesn’t work for me. I admit the last isn’t others’ expectation but mine, yet most of the time I am usually opinion-less!
As much as I whined, I do understand the point my recipient was coming from. Amidst the busy schedule she still allocates time for others is but very commendable, and for this alone there is a compelling reason for me to extend as much help as I can. Hence my “Yeah sure.”
But, one whole week off my holidays to somewhere ulu to be a MAID and spend seven days trying to sound intellectual about something I have absolutely NO opinions about? You tell me, if it is not pain, what is it rightfully called? Hence my reluctance.
Someone once told me that the reason we wanna be like some characters in the shows is because in reality, we just can’t bring ourselves to do what they do. And he’s right. Time and time again I have the urge to just throw sarcasm around the way Marc does, Amanda does and Blair does, but end up feeling compelled to be a nice girl. Damn it, he’s so right. In reality, I just can’t do what they do.
I am utterly annoyed at myself for even thinking about it. Guess I should happily pack my bags, happily travel 205km, to be a happy housewife people will praise my recipient for, and to happily try to sound intellectual for seven days.
Somehow, I can’t wait for it to begin -
it should be fun.
Yet again, I can’t wait for it to end,
if it is exactly like what I imagined.
**********
On a really happy note, I am no longer a probation driver!
Any car, any road, anywhere, I’m on it!
