Wednesday, October 29, 2008 14:29
How shall I begin, and how could I begin.
Thoughts are running wild, yet the word bank is drained. No idea how to say, no idea how to start. To vocalize is an enormous task itself; I seek refuge in silence, for silence has once been my best friend.
Just speak your mind, you might say. But what does my mind say, I can translate to no words. Perhaps I should just lock myself in and things might eventually get better.
Sometimes it happens, usually it doesn't.
And there was this one time, my dream shook me hard.
What was the prophecy, was there a hint?
Or was it an apocalypse, embedded within?
And when the ideal and reality conflicts, I find myself arriving at a paradox like it's said.
Come what may, all at once. I'm tired of surmounting each wave, one by one.
Saturday, October 18, 2008 19:45
Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Friends. Acquaintances. Enemies.
They are distinct and (almost) mutually exclusive.
How about, grey areas?
In one of my Chemistry lectures I remember my professor said something like this:
"We, humans, always prefer absolutes. We like things to be either black or white, but not in the greyish regions. Yet more often than not, the work of nature always produces results that are not absolute."
Of course when he said that, my professor was talking about ionic and covalent characters in compounds.
Before I became of age, I was a naivete. Everything was absolute - either right, or wrong, either yes, or no, and either good, or evil. Nothing is called 'in between'. Before I became of age, I always thought that people who struggle with dilemma, people who have problems in coming up with a solution, and people who perceive things as complicated, are just mere indecisive people, who have no firm beliefs.
But it was until I tasted the bittersweet of life, that I began to appreciate better life's contradictions and see dilemmas in a different light, through different mediums as well. And it was then that I realized, how wrong I was! Even science proves that there's NO absolute - you cannot tell the exact position of an electron at an exact time because of the uncertainty principle.
A glance at a friend's blog showed me an alternative way to look at the matter. I used to (I still do) think that what she's doing, could well be a waste of time, and perhaps 'unethical', as she quoted so. It doesn't change my belief still, but now that I've read what she said, I can somehow empathize better. Nothing is absolute, so it's not all that despicable actually.
To say 'despicable' could well be harsh, and I apologize for that. But it is still against my moral compass - or perhaps I'm just too righteous a person. Rest assured, my opinions on this matter do not affect the way I view you as a friend, alright?
I still love you. Huggs my dear. Although the approach you adopt differs greatly from my way of thinking, my shoulders and my ears are here for you to lean and borrow when you feel like having them (:
Tuesday, October 14, 2008 17:06
It's the mating season now. Flowers bloom, bees buzz, and butterflies of love fill the air with what else but love and all sweetness it brings.
Is it the exam stress that bring people together, I wonder. Or should it be that through turbulent times like these our hearts' true desires are uncovered?
It is fulfilling (somehow) to know that friends around you have met their loves. Pretty young ladies they have become, with one of them I am especially happy for. Though we are half a day and half a world apart, the ripple of excitement did reach me when she broke the news to me.
And now they are honeymoon-ing around (: Can't be any happier for them (:
And then, someone just has to spoil the day.
"Then when's your turn?"
Oh just how I hate this question. Why does he always spoil the fun when I am genuinely, sincerely, feeling happy for people's lives. Please, do I look like I will DIE without a guy to go shopping hand-in-hand? Or do you think I will DIE without a guy's shoulder to lean on, that I have always got to get a rebound?
This is seriously undermining me. Thank you, but I can stand on my own two feet without much support from the other gender, for your information. I am not all that demure damsel in distress at all times.
But I think the main reason for my feeling insulted is, well, thanks for once again, the hurt. Perhaps the person whom I got annoyed with did not even know what he has done. Until I can completely ignore his presence, until I can completely ignore his presence.
Sigh. Flowers blooming, bees buzzing, and a symphony of love is playing. Let me just immerse myself in this atmosphere, feeding on their lovely stories. Eh you all must keep me updated okay, especially you darling who's half a world away! XD
Friday, October 03, 2008 23:07
I can't believe how addicted I am to the song in my blog.
I actually opened my blog page just to let it play and replay continuously, just like it's never stopped.
And let thoughts run wild, never-ceasing. This song should be awarded "Best Emo Song", don't you think?
17:09
歌都有得唱
“命里有时 终须有 命里无时 莫强求”
我就唔明 究竟执著D 咩
搞到连个HAHA 都写得甘辛苦
好累 真的好累
原来最吃力的事 就是
你心不甘情不愿地 笑
要有说服力 要让他们觉得你是真心的
笑
当某久患复发 你还是要
笑
当某个伤口爆裂 多少鲜血流淌
你还是要
笑
嘻嘻哈哈 东歪西到 地
笑
甘掷堕！
于心不忍 甘愿自己阴公D
至少造福他人
毕竟城门失火 最无辜既都系D 池鱼
有人讲过呢句话：
曾经沧海难为水 除却巫山不是云
唔通 想忘记个沧海 想忘记个巫山
真系甘难？
