You brought it upon yourself. Serve you right.Oh. How cold a sentence. Akin to sprinkling salt on the wound. Synonymous to finding perverted joy in people's misery, people's guilt. Something the evil MissyIvy would say.
I can't hide that triumphant smile, albeit feeling triumphant for the wrong cause. Guilt-striken, are you not? And that is why I am smiling. Remember this sentence from those HK dramas "the more miserable you are, the happier I am"? Exactly. Don't be surprised, don't be alarmed. I am still MissyIvy. Are you saying that that's not what I would say? Wrong. That's because you have not seen the other side of me - the darker, more sinister, vengeful - the side beneath the nice girl you always see. I silently told myself on the day everything came crashing down, that the meek little kitten died under your blades.
Though, my conscience is reminding me, every minute every second, that I get nothing out of such mentality.
Perhaps I'm not alone anymore, and that's why I am feeling triumphant. On my own, I trudge alongside the giants. Giants who lift me up high when I'm feeling down, giants who bring me to a whole new horizon of a whole new world. And I am privileged to have sat on their shoulders to look at everything in a different light. And of the giants who walk with me, you are no longer amoungst them.
The ambiguity, the grey areas, the fading dividing lines. I drift away from clarity with each passing day. Gradually, what used to be certain is soon uncertain. I have come to embrace this new form of certainty - the joy it yields, the unpredictable nature, the unsuspecting eyes. Come what may, I don't give a damn, for I dwell in the present and not the future.
Somehow I have injected some recklessness in my life. Come what may, come what may. You brought it upon yourself, anyway.
