Like a sudden flash of the spotlight, it dawned on me what "Apologize" really meant. Look carefully at the lyrics.
"...holding on your rope got me ten feet off the ground"
"...then you go and cut me down..."
I collapsed the day everything else tumbled.
It was at the deepest valley ever I could not feel. And apathy was what's left dangling. Apathy - absence of emotions - I do not feel. A dead person can't feel. An apathetic person won't give a damn.
Maybe the rope that hanged me did not kill me. Maybe I was mostly dead, not knowing a slight streak of life was still clinging onto me. Why, do you never understand what I truly want. When I wanted to be alive, I was thrown a rope. When I wanted to be truly dead, you awakened my senses. I arose from my slumber, confronted with a series of 'Why?' questions.
Why did you hang me, when I so wanted to be alive?
Why did you resuscitate me, when I wanted to be dead to the world, apathetic to YOU?
Why did you forcefully break open, the protective glass shield I painstakingly built with remnants of me after the fall?
Why, did you tear open a sealed wound and expose the hurt beneath?
All that glitters is not gold.
Hold not everything gold that shines like gold.
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth till the hours of separation.
Ever has it been that rising from the dead means you are still here for a reason?
A fool I was! To be deceived by butterflies of promises that soon disappeared.
Ask me not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for my yesterdays.
After which, 'WE' will exist no more.
Never going to rewind, for I am made much more than my yesterdays.
Never going to relent, for I am not, and will not be, a loser anymore.
I have the perfect reason to stay afloat, remain wicked.
Because
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.