Human perception changes every now and then. The degree and directions of the fluctuations depend very much on the people and things that appear around us from time to time.
Perhaps when Einstein developed his idea of relativity, he had little idea how relevant this was to the way humans think.
The idea of relativity struck me when I looked back at the way (or ways) I end up looking at my performance today. To use the word
performance, to me, isn't apt at all. Because it's not something to be proud of like those on-stage.
But perhaps the best performance of the day was how well I assimilated to that mask of indifference I very first created. It's void of most emotions, and I even grew to believe it was part of me.
"They aren't that bad they appear to be."
"At least they are a little higher than national average."
They were like poison. They made me agree, nodding in stupidity that the world isn't coming to its end. Yet. Yes, it's not dooms day, but is there salvation? At one point they sounded really reasonable, it's almost like something I can't agree less with. But at another point in time, they are just a display of a deceptive optimism.
Deceptive optimism. They are no lies, for they are true. Yet what's there to be proud of being just slightly higher than national average? That's why it shouldn't be called my 'performance' after all.
I hereby make a request. Please, don't attempt to
'cheer me up'. I am no kid. I won't smile like an idiot just by having some stories told at my ears. I am blocking my senses from unnecessary break-downs to uphold and portray the usual 'me'. This is an uphill task, so please let me succeed for everyone's sake.
Just, please.
This could be the first time I'm touching on the subject ever since it happened. Over time many thoughts did appear and somehow changed the way I look at it. But now, one stays.
We are but dots which move on our own lines that make up the course of our lives. From time to time the lines change directions and with that they might intersect with each other and so on. Yet now our lines have turned skew, and not only have we stopped becoming a part of each other's life, we do not move in the same direction anymore.
With that, I shall wait till my next intersection comes.
