I call it therapy, you might call it time-wasting efforts.
I typed something at first, but was too proud yet too cowardly to post it here.
But everytime I fall into such trap, it is this which eases my pain.
M U S I C
They do wonders. They numb the senses. They bring and envelope you with new emotions, til you are completly infected and unable to resist anymore. And you fall into a vortex, where you just sink deeper and deeper, until you are cut off from reality.
Now this piece becomes my therapy.
<<心淡>> 容祖儿
想不起 怎么会病到不分好歹
-Can't recall, how I got so sick连受苦都甜美
-To even find joy amidst agony我每日捱著 不睬不理
-I kept it mum all this while, and you didn't give it a damn但却捱不死
-Yet I prevailed又去痴缠你
-And brought myself up to you again难道终此一生 都要这么
-Must my whole life be不可争一口气
-So low-lying and unworthy很谦卑 只不过是我太过爱你
-Being so humble, for I love you too much连自尊都忘记
-To preserve my dignity跌到极麻木 只好相信
-I can only believe that after so many falls又再爬得起
-As long as I'm able to get up就会有转机
-Dawn will come one day若我不懂憎你 如何离别你 亦怕不会飞
-Yet how am I to leave you had I not grown to hate you?由这一分钟开始计起 春风秋雨间
-From this second onwards, for seasons to come恨我对你以半年时间 慢慢的心淡
-In six months time, to put you behind付清 账单
-Clearing all debts平静的对你热度退减
-Gradually, feeling less and less一天一点伤心过 这一百数十晚
-Wallow in sadness, for a few hundred nights大概也够我 送我来回地狱又折返人间
-Should be enough for me to go through everything春天分手 秋天会习惯
I'll get used to the break up when fall befalls苦冲开了便淡
-It'll get less bitter as I move onAlright, laugh all you want. This is my futile attempt in translating the lyrics of a song which affects me so much. My vocab is so limited, and I'm mostly doing point-to-point translation. Laugh all you want.
But I must be a sadist, because time and again I choose to do something just to get upset in the end, or choose to do something which I know will be a disappointment. Time and again, I've offered myself to be cut, deeper and deeper everytime.
