I'm becoming nocturnal, again. But this isn't the result of midnight mugging, rather the result of whole day going out and meeting people. The long promised outing with HeLi and the rare chance of seeing Why again.
But it was a really nostalgic day for me. The people I met used to share many things in common with me. We either stayed in the same place, went to the same school, or attended the same cca which made us, us. If that was what made us, us, then what make us, us, now that we are heading different paths and leading different lives?
When I said I'm a person with horrible time lag, it's the biggest truth I've ever told. Because I only feel loss HOURS after we all parted ways. It's supposed to be some instantaneous emotion but somehow my joker face still took control at that time.
Four days later, I'll be out of Dunman High Hostel for good. But three days later, I'll be saying most of the goodbyes, which, most unfortunately, means I'll be left spending a night here alone, before I could embark on my return journey the next morning. December 6th that is, the day most, if not every, close friend I cherish and weave memories with, will be leaving Singapore, the foreign piece of land where our paths crossed. It feels like, time has never been so short before(except during my Econs paper where I practically zoomed past line after line with my black pen). It's so short that, that, I'm clueless how and what to do with it. It leaves me, thinking, and breathless.
Before he left, Ricky said "... it's like things won't ever be the same again. You won't get to see people you see everyday during mealtimes, have the fun you always have everyday... a closure of another happy chapter in your life."
Now these words are ringing, like a player, over and over again in my head. It's so true.
A closure of yet another happy chapter in my life, indeed.
When I think about tomorrow, I can't help but thinking, after ten years time, where will everyone be? Where will Why be? HeLi? Will Yongyi settle down in Canada? Will Aulia be some big shot in some big company? What about Pear(I really don't mean the fruit, OK)? Kaigai? And all my dear Looneys? Will everyone find what they look for in their lives? Will Ricky find his compass that leads him on to his destination in life?
What about me? What will I be? Who will I be? And where will I be?
This is rehab day 4. And the dilemma I mentioned earlier is getting more and more severe. Pear is right. I want to go home. But I want to stay here too.
