I guess, unknowingly, I cracked a lame, cold, dry joke just before I entered the exam hall. "After one hour and fifteen minutes, we are free. But we're still priceless" was what I said. Alright, alright, enough of that stare from you.
Two hours and thirty five minutes after I said that, I'm here, as a free yet priceless soul(I so love contradictions!) telling the whole world of my liberty. Yes, I made it. I passed through the doors officially, legitimately, into the Other Side.
What's that I hear? Aren't they cheers of victory, of rejoice, and of relief? Yes they are! What's that I see? Are they not banquet-spread of wine, meal and songs fit for the Kings? Yes they are!
And the best part of it all, I see the one face smiling back at me, saying "Hello, you're finally here."
This place is so good. I wish I can stay longer. Before the battle I've made promises and plans about every single detail once I cross over. Those promises and plans were what kept me moving and charging forward throughout this one month. And when I'm finally here, I find my entire schedule so jumbled up and screwed.
It only takes ONE phone call, ONE stern demand, and every good fantasy is shattered. What with the grand meeting with someone whom I know nothing of albeit the potential help he can be of. I'm a worn-out traveller who just came out of a dense jungle, and immediately I'm instructed to embark on yet another journey - a literal one, which is five hours long. Can I not just enjoy my head off and care nothing about my academic stuff first?
Apparently not.
When I wished, and hoped, that he'll be there receiving me once I crossed over, which he did, in the end it's ME who can't hang around enjoying these moments of victory with him.
When I looked forward to, and even visualized the fun we are going to have during the mahjong games, in the end, it's ME who stand up on all my mahjong kakis and be a spoilsport.
When I made a promise to help craft a birthday surprise for a friend, and because of me and my exams the whole thing is postponed, for me, and in the end, it's ME who blows the party apart and disappoint every other person who are in this with me.
I worked so hard, trekked so far into the jungle, what was it for? Yes, okay, for my own future, you're right. But I was also clinging onto these promises and plans and fantasies, is it so difficult for me to enjoy the fruit of my labour now?
I don't understand. Why, oh why, is my initially-flawless, fun-filled After A's schedule so screwed?
CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME HAVE IT MY OWN WAYS? To death I will fight to be able to come back on Saturday. I've forgone too much. It's time to not let the promise I made be broken.
