I am losing my sense of humour every time I rise from wonderland.
The mundane of each passing day is ironically overwhelming. For every time I rise above fantasies, I'm met with deadlines - 'dead' when you cross the 'line'. True enough, to produce three write-ups about myself requires large amount of creativity - something which I currently am deficient of. Because I just woke up from hibernation.
No, I did not wake up at two. Physically, I woke up two hours ago - long enough for me to be awake now. Mentally, I'm still cuddling my blanket on my bed. No thanks to the oh-so-nice-and-sleep-inducing weather!
In the midst this mass production of self appraisal, I decided to take a break from the mundane (told you, they are driving my creative juices extinct). Then I thought of something Suzzy said the other day, which I found interesting, so decided to post it here.
*Warning: Read only if you are on diet. You might lose your appetite after this.
The story was dated back on Thursday, when the second half of J2 cohort had their most dreaded Mass PE in the morning. After much running, four budding entrepreneurs gathered round a table in the canteen full of chirpy students. One of them by the name of Miss Stupidity was uncertain if she was able to finish her noodle. Then her partners started a conversation which turned out to be a business talk.
KylieWylie moaned about her cramps (it's her time of the month!) which she found disturbing. Trying to make her feel better, Piao said "My mom told me some people actually put menstruation blood on their pimples so that they can heal." All of us reacted almost instantly, exclaiming "Eew! Why?" In her casual (and usual) expressionless way of answering questions, Piao said "I have no idea, but it really works."
Apparently turned-off by the subject of discussion - menstruation blood, Miss Stupidity begged for an end to this subject, but to no avail. The rest were so keen in disturbing Miss Stupidity more, that absurd suggestions sprouted out of KylieWylie, Piao and Bai_She's lips like mushrooms after the rain.
"You know, some people even drink the (menstrual) blood!" suggested Bai_She.
"What?!"
"Why not? It's very nutritious! It's for the baby..." She added.
"But how to drink?!" interrupted KylieWylie with expression as bewildered as the rest, maybe with the exception of Bai_she. "It's so disgusting!" At the same time, her imaginations brought Miss Stupidity nothing but pure disgust, and started to wonder if she still had the appetite to swallow her noodles.
"Oh, but it makes sense. That explains why the pimples can heal so fast when you put it there. 'Cause it's nutritious." Piao said, with the oh!-now-I-understand-why look.
All four drifted into their imaginations, where they visualized THE process, how it's done, of course with constant outbreaks of giggles. Then Miss Stupidity had an idea. "Wah maybe one day you'll find people go around collecting (menstrual blood) and make them into can drinks and sell leh!"
This time, the rest were bewildered at the idea, but series of laughters followed nonetheless.
Piao suddenly got an idea, "Eh? That would be us la!"
*laughs*
"Wah so nutritious can use to make other products also.. beauty products in particular..." said Bai_she. And in synchrony, each of us came up with facial mask, hair conditioner, shampoo etc.
"Wah if like that the pad companies all go bankrupt!" said KylieWylie.
"So is the chicken essence. Coz no one will drink anymore." Miss Stupidity added.
"Haha like that we monopoly already. Make big money lor!" Bai_she said.
"Wah can quit school and start business and get rich already!" exclaimed Piao.
"HAHAHA we Bill Gates No.2!"
After much giggling around, we really started thinking about our "business" and the concerns were raised...
"But how are we gonna collect those blood?"
"Use pads?" someone suggested.
"Cannot la pad companies have gone bankrupt already, because we made them bankrupt." reasoned another.
"Then we invent some special thing that they must wear so that we can collect lo! We are the market monopoly what!" said Miss Stupidity.
"Pampers!" exclaimed Piao, which sent another wave of unstoppable laughters across the table.
"That would be the same as pads!"
"Use plastics. Then can get them (blood) in the original form."
"HUH?! *horrified* No what if it gets too heavy and drop on the ground and piak!"
All of us visualized the scenario, and were so amused that we could not stop laughing.
"Ok then use pads. Then we put them in water and stir stir stir. Then we can get the blood lo." said Piao.
That suggestion sounded feasible, until...
"But the amount of blood during that period is very little leh!" said Bai_she.
"Oh ya then inconsistent supply also because everyone has it on different time."
"Or we put bottles at their homes so that they can put the blood inside and send them to us."
"Alternatively we can go to them."
Then KylieWylie had a solution to solve the low supply problem.
"I know! We can go to those pregnant women! They have two months of HEAVY flow after delivery!"
I must say, that was a brilliant idea!
"Oh yeah! Then we make it a law that every woman must come and register with us when they are pregnant..."
"And we go get their blood after the baby is born!"
"Yeah!"
"Oh then we can improvise a bit, such as adding extra nutrients for different demand..."
"Like collagen, to put in facial masks..."
"In the can drinks also, make it collagen-rich, then can totally replace chicken essence!"
"HAHAHAHA X100000000"
-End of story-
Those who managed to survive through the entire story, congratulations!
