"Theng, is it this turn?"
"... where are you heading?"
"New house. Show me your old school."
"THAT way. Take the next turn."
Because my aunt missed a right turn much earlier (and I didn't know she was going to her new house directly, I thought we were looking for good breakfast) the fastest route to get to Bercham was to pass through Chung Thye Phin road, where Ave Maria Convent sat comfortably throughout the years.
Yes, I came from a convent school.
It was a walk down memory lane. Except the fact that I wasn't walking with my own two feet. Flashes of primary school life surfaced. Faces of old school mates, close friends floated by. We were friends who shared everything - including secrets - then. But what are we now?
Only a little closer than strangers, mere acquaintances.
Discouraging how powerful time a solvent is, isn't it? Even more polar than water. It overcomes bonds that used to hold us in place, making everything infinitely dilute.
***
Hooked onto sudoku these few days. Things haven't been pleasing nor happy for me, so I seek entertainment of a different kind. Looks like my new-found interest is self sustainble enough, because every digit right is another engine driving me to get another digit right, and it goes on and on like that. My mind is so preoccupied with numbers, and that means I can take a break from unhappy thoughts and disappointments.
So numbers can do wonders, only not in exams.
***
Dad told me Kembara production has been terminated!! That means there won't be any new Kembara of the same model on the road anymore! You may raise your eyebrows but Kembara has always been my favourite car. Yes, it's just another cheap vehicle, not comparable to well-acknowledged beauties like Porche or Ferrari (I do think ferrari is a beauty). But neither porche nor ferrari has the attraction a Kembara has on me. For years before I come of age I've been imagining myself driving a Kembara around town. How cute is that! But now, this dream of mine is never gonna come true.
I saw a Kembara when I was in Bercham yesterday. The feeling is like seeing your boyfriend again after being apart for half a year.
Then today I was just told Kembara is not gonna be in the production line anymore. The feeling is like your boyfriend is dead - he's not gonna come back anymore.
Dad also said a new model of Kembara is gonna be a replacement for the existing one. But then, the feeling is not the same anymore. Though the new Kembara is still called Kembara, it isn't THE Kembara I've always loved. It may be a good replacement from wheels to engine, but it is never the same Kembara again.
Even with identical qualities and characters, a person is never a replacement of another.
There maybe other alternatives around, even those way better than a Kembara. Yes, who can deny the seduction of a Ferrari? It's just so sexy (especially the red one LOL). Who doesn't want the rich man's trademark i.e. the Mercedez and BMW? But once you found THE ONE for you, other more expensive and more good-looking cars are just, well, another more expensive and more good-looking car. Not a single cent more.
The chinese saying goes "Why stubbornly love a flower when there is plenty of grass available under the sky?". I can tell you why. Because that's THE ONE flower you like, and in your eyes, all others have gone into oblivion, no matter how they appeal to others.
I feel empty, because Kembara is gone.
I feel empty, because all that's left aren't what I want.
Car. Friends. Boys.
