Alright, wrong quotation. It should be
"A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."
But my version of the quote did not deviate much from the actual one, or did it?

To open your eyes just to find yourself closing them again.
To get up from bed just to find yourself lying down again.
To wear your slippers just to find yourself taking them off again.
It's not funny.

The mirror showed me a skeleton frame of a person.
Who is that? I could barely register.
The fingers which carress the keyboard look like those from Halloween makeovers.
For a second or two, I was taken into the illusion of a Halloween Party.
Trick or treat now?

Food. I yearn for it.
Yet they don't stay in my alimentary canal.
Everything that went in came out wholesale.
You don't need to have good eyesight to make out what they are, for they look exactly like when they were ingested.

That's my stomach. Butterflies seem to fly round and round in it.
No I don't like skeletons.

This is the second post for today.
That's good to show that I've been doing some thinking and never leave my grey cells idle.
Though I think they can be put to better use such as chewing everything I read in Bio notes and swallow them wholesale.
Then again, it's the impossible we are talking about.
***
It suddenly dawned on me what kind of girl I am. I never thought I'm this kind of girl, yet reality presented itself this way.
I get carried away by emotions all the time. So whatever I do or whatever my responses are to issues are largely determined by my mood at that point of time. Pick on me when I'm in cloud nine, and I'll just shrug it off and everything returns to normal. But piss me off when I don't get the right size for the piece I want badly, and you are promised of a storm that blows all your hair away.

Alright I'm not talking sense here so I shall go and check on my laundry.

If I had learnt something from yesterday, there'll be two lessons:
One - promises dwell on fragile ice, and
Two - once you break that piece of fragile ice there's no way to piece it back.



Seindah
Tiada lagi kau ku ingatkan
Sayang kau hilang
Menanti
Biar sampai akhir hayat
Ku di dunia ini

Kau tahu betapa
Ku sayang padamu
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Hanya takdir
Menentukan ia
Ohh Belaian jiwa

Ohh angin
Sampaikan lagu ku padanya
Yang sedih pilu
Terimalah
Lagu ku jadi teman
Hidupmu untuk selamanya
>>>>>Belaian Jiwa, Innuendo
***
Do you know? The silent promise made meant a whole world to me. I left many jewels behind, so I thought alas! There's a chance to redeem myself by picking up those jewels. Jewels of vibrant colours that paint a collage of fond memories we had.

You'll never know what that decision of yours meant to me. Nor will you know how I felt upon revelation of the truth. To think the promise was broken because of your mere lame excuses. Which are totally unsubstantiated and totally betrayed by what you did.

I have nothing more to say.
What's more to say, when the truth dawns itself upon me.
I, Me, Miss Stupidity, is the jewel left behind.

So the next time you want to turn back on your words, please choose a better excuse.
A better excuse is another excuse so carefully crafted that I can see no loophole in it.

Thanks Yao for saving my day. It meant alot, though I may not have expressed it in front of you.

Perhaps the depth of a relationship - be it friendship, kinship, companionship - is not proportional to time.
Kylie is right. Looney Royales I'm so gonna miss you when I'm gone from Singapore. So are those who left deep prints in my life. You know who you are.

"A moment is the moment when you can expect from perfection."
-Aulia, 25May2007

Truckload of stuffs happened in a space of just one day. ONE day, and I'm not talking about the entire 24hours. Yesterday was absolutely gratifying. Everything we did was just so meaningful. I could barely think of anything I did yesterday which was a waste of time. Maybe falling back to sleep after seeing Dan off? Yeah if you qualify that as a waste of time, then there's one.

So Daniel and Huiting left. Those two chatterboxes of my juniors. Those two who always invited us for more bridge sessions. Those two who always made big noises in the canteen over the dinner tables. There were just so much to say, yet when they were leaving, I could utter no words beyond "good luck yeah" "take care" and "come back visit us if you can". What a loser I am. I'm always like that. And more often than not, I get emo only hours after that, when the full reality sinks in. By then, there's nothing I can say anymore.

Goodbye is one of the earliest words I know how to speak.
But I don't really know how to say it when I have to.
I suck at goodbyes.
***
A whole afternoon of arm-leg coordination and balancing was fun. Yes I'm speaking of Broadway Jazz session with Kylie and Aulia in some ulu place which is near to Vivo.
One surprising thought - I did not have the slightest intention to set foot on Vivo when I alighted at the bus stop. A point to ponder about, given a shopaholic nature and the BIG GREAT SINGAPORE SALE everywhere.

Another reason why I did not go Vivo was because we had to rush to Padang (yes, the big field named Padang) for the Singapore Arts Festival opening ceremony. Aulia needed to pray so we walked to UOBPlaza where I was reminded of the corporate smell hahaha. And it was there that I saw a cloud which resembled the Merlion! In an attempt to capture that rare sight with my fone, I concluded that either one - my phone camera sucks to the max, or two - my photographic skills suck to the max. Because when I showed aulia the pics I took later, he said "I think it looks more like a poodle."

We still made it in time for the real performance to start. Believe me, the stunts were simply awesome! The wheel stunt as well as the aerial net(I'm not sure if my spelling is correct) were just... COOL. And in the end, both of us think they were trying to convey the message of unity and world peace. After around 40minutes of continuous jaws-dropping eyes-widening crowd-gasping stunts in the air, we had a 10minutes feast of fireworks, right before our eyes.

Right before us, the colours soared up high, tearing the still darkness apart. Life was instantly given to the entire place. Fireworks, aren't they just the most beautiful moments you can expect from perfection?

To add more spice to the already-happening day of mine yesterday, we bumped into a mini rock concert by the Javaholics in Powerhouse, Esplanade. I admit I've never heard of them before, and I'm quite sure neither have you XD The first song which caught my attention was 'Belaian Jiwa'. The melodious love song that was hot some years back. I don't exactly remember when. But hearing someone singing that song live was another experience for me. It sort of transported me back in time - the time when I was still in Ipoh and was still in contact with Malay. And ahem, my friend beside me was surprised I knew that song.

Now at this point, I need to say something pertaining to that performing group. They have a really hot hot hot hot hot hot hot saxophonist!!! OMG the whole night I was telling Aulia how hot and cute and hot and cute that saxophonist was. Ok I know it's -.-'''
He wasn't exactly cute as in handsome per se. His hair was like lalang too. But that served no deterrent for his talent to shine. What can I say, huhhh~~he just grabbed and locked my attention on him! All his solos, with great vibratos and tone, when he moved to his beat and melody... All made a superb combination you can get from a performer! He had good poise when he was holding up his sax... I did not mean good 'pose', because throught the performance I've never seen him standing with both feet! Hahaha. He was either resting his weight on one leg, or keep shaking to the beat. I did not see him stand still at all. Ok exclude the intermission when he went to get his drink. No, he didn't shake as he drank.

Oh my. The memories of yesterday still remained intact and fresh. Yesterday was such a good day.

Dear Pixies

Would you lend me a listening ear? Because other than you guys who have been around as always, I am at loss for ears which I can rant my thoughts to.

When KBox date was called off due to negligible response, I thought of seeing Xtin my dear darling B220 mate whom I haven't seen for lightyears. When I woke up to the noise from construction site my newly-secured date with Xtin was called off again. This time it's because she has some consultation with her tutors. Lucky for me Xiruo was going Orchard with me, and so I wasn't date-less today.

Yet, when I thought my day changed for the better, some people are bound to ruin it. Oh no I'm not into complaints. I'm just stating the facts. I've been doing some self-reflection and observations lately. There are people with ultra low SA (situation awareness) around me. And believe me, these kinds of people are those who really get on my nerves. Yes, I have only one nerve, and they are getting on it like nobody's business.

So because of these kind of low SA people, I had a free ride of emotional rollercoaster today. My day was completely wasted (not including the Orchard trip of course because that's happiness), and my legs were completely exhausted (believe me, it wasn't because of Orchard). And I looked like a big time idiot roaming alone in TM waiting for time to pass and for somebody to turn up. Apparently low SA means that somebody went all the way to somewhere else, and I could get nothing done because somebody never pick up my call when I dialled the same number for a million times.

Oh, I said I won't be complaining, but oops, I just can't help it.

It's not funny when your excitement kena ruined because somebody took lightyears to respond to one simple message. And when you thought you are helping others save time, others are wasting your time like nobody's business. And it's a real nuisance.

I had it. I had enough dose of waiting and I shall wait no more. In fact, OVERDOSE of waiting today. It ain't meaningful anymore. I don't wanna do it now. You can have it for all you want.

Suzzy told me that our class attendance was pathetic today and those who went to school went to rot big time. Yeah, and now when I come to think of it, had I gone to school to rot, my day would even be more productive.
***
Despite the wonderful waiting experience, a small deed can lift your hearts.
I still remember how the old uncle smiled at me in gratitude when I gave my seat up for him. And how I actually smiled back.
Just one simple deed is more meaningful than a whole world of superficial colouration and empty promises.

All along I thought this place is secluded, isolated, shielded from questioning eyes, where I best described as my ‘sanctuary’. All along the invisibility cloak proved effective - only those I gave access to gain access to this place. With the exception of some who accidentally waded their ways to this place via a few external links, I’m almost confident in saying that I know more than 95percent who comes here.

Therefore I’m pretty astounded when someone quoted exactly what I said two months ago. It wasn’t any mere coincidence, for I’m dead sure of the choice of words used in that post. To use the same analogy and the same words pertaining to one issue, there’s absolutely no room for coincidences.

It boils down to one burning question – how did he come across my blog anyway?

Uncertainties happen everywhere, all the time, I guess. Yes, this has got to be the answer.

You know, it feels great (sorry, limited vocab) to have your thoughts mentioned or quoted. Yes, I’ve never doubted the ego that’s been part of me for nineteen years (mind you, I’m a Leo, as in, born in August). But then, to experience the shock and alarm when what you said is quoted word for word is another matter altogether. It brings all hairs standing on the tip of their roots causing rough skin; all arterioles to constrict beneath your face causing pallor; all blood to flow in the opposite direction causing dizziness; and not forgetting all sweat glands to be activated causing excessive cold sweat.

Oh my. That was exactly how I felt when one of my post two months ago was brought up during dialogue session last night. As expected, the issue about noise arising from several constructions (and destructions) around the hostel was brought up, yet again. Then somehow during the discussion he suddenly remembered about reading one of our blogs, which likened the noise to ALARMS, ringing perpetually at EIGHT a.m. every SATURDAY. He said that blog must belong to one of the borders here.

Then it smacked right on my face, just how familiar it sounded. Blog, he said. Was that not another post of MINE, some two months ago? When I was forcing in more Bio details into the already-filled-up-to-the-brim-brain of mine, amidst the constant buzz of the machines? Yes! Indeed! That was my monologue that time, so I decided to just pen it down. Looks like my invisibility cloak has got a hole in it and someone actually saw what lies beneath.

He said they don’t know who the blog belongs to, but are certain it belongs to one of us. Alas, a more consoling piece of news here. Phew, my mind went. Looks like the name Miss Stupidity has served its purpose of preserving my anonymity in the blogosphere. I shall keep using that name in recognition of the benefit it brings.

After rounds of elimination, I finally came up with one hypothesis to how he was able to quote what I said. One day he was super bored and decided to Google ‘Dunman High Hostel’ and landed on Miss Stupidity’s world of shattered dreams and pixies and untold fairytales. Yeah, that’s the best and most accurate hypothesis. Must be it.
***
Disappointed a little I was indeed. Yet, who's to blame?
Retribution, I would say. Pay back time for always being late or even stand up on someone.
So it's my turn this time. Somehow I know it's perfectly alright to be disappointed, but I can't stop wondering why am I feeling that way now.

I shall not be disappointed since I'm going do something exciting tomorrow.
Yeah.
Oh not forgetting, my life has just started to get exciting. More excitement coming up, way till the end of the year.

Something seems wrong lately. Was it because of words of mouth?
Oh! Just how fast the weather changes. Is this true for people too?

Changes. There's just too much of them lately.
I at loss for words. Speechless indeed.
What more can I say when whatever I say never gets diffused into your ears?

Tolerance. I've put up good shows several times too.
And I don't understand why am I always the clown. Do you not see what I am doing? What we are doing?

I'm sorry. Maybe it wasn't intentional.
Perhaps I was just reading too much into others' minds.
Perhaps I'm such an idiot who thinks she's intelligent by deciphering for myself what you think.
And perhaps my stupidity got the better of me and put false words in your mouth.

But was I? Was I really?

I don't understand. Is the environment so dark that you can't see for yourself the truth that's laid blatantly in front of you? Or what?

Sighs. Actually I don't like hearing all those stuffs too. They are such a disillusionment I can't accept. They just shatter my self-perceived fairytales into pieces without mercy.
And they are killing me. Taking over my smiles bit by bit, till none is left.
Do you not know, that if you continue to have it your way, I may no longer coerce myself to extend my usual warm and welcoming arms? And I'll turn into somebody you and I know not.

Most unfortunately.

Oh! Blogger finally recovered! So may you never screw up again!

The feeling of coincidence is simply great. It has got to do with the element of surprise in it. Just when you thought it would never happen, it happened. And it never fails to brighten up your day, especially today when I hardly see the sun. It's been so long since I last did that. It was indeed nice. And memorable.

What a nice way to wrap up my day:)

Flea market never fails to lift the corners of my lips. I shall not say the obvious(details of shopping) but the weather was hyper warm. Both laogong and I were like ice being put in oven the entire trip. I saw the bag I loved very long ago, with a price of $5. The amazing fact? I did not buy.

After two and a half hours of quality survey, I suddenly sensed something amiss. It was like all blood in me was flowing in the opposite direction. So I moved away from the crowd in search of fresh air(erm under the trees?). It did not improve the situation at all, so I planted myself on one of the chairs and took deep breaths. Now why were there chairs is a mystery. Perhaps for tired shoppers? Yet echoes started, well, echoing in my ears despite my clear vision. Or was it?

Lucky for me laogong bought back coke from the nearest Long John's. According to her my face was as white as sheet. I felt as if somebody has just thrown a snowball at my face. It felt cold. To my surprise, two ladies came over and asked if I was alright, and offered me some medicated oil. Thanks to the drink and the oil, my face regained its blush very soon after that.

It's indeed consoling that amidst heated competition and the drive towards success among people, there's still warmth lingering around. Just a "what happened to you" "are you alright" can do wonders. One of the ladies told me it was probably heat stroke, which I thought was quite true indeed. Baking under the sun was never fun. Most not so this time. Thanks laogong and you two ladies(though I'm sure you won't read this). You ladies are most wonderful! Charm is not because of superficial appeal but the purity of your heart and sincerity. Thank you you charming ladies:)

It rained when we wanted to get out of Cine, so we took the route to Taka instead since it was sheltered. On the way we went into Esprit, and came out with, of course nothing. We kept walking until we wanted to go home, and stopped by Lucky Plaza McD for an ice-cream, when I nearly screamed in my seat when I saw the clock hanging on the wall.

It said "6:50pm".

Me:"OHMYGOD. Am I looking at the right time?"
Laogong turned and saw it.
Me:"Hostel dinner ends at 7 eh."
Laogong:"Sure anot that's the right time? Check the phones!"
Then she flipped open her flip phone, it said "6:47pm"
Laogong:"Whoa we walked for... two and a half hours?! Walking non-stop for two and a half hours? Whoa like that we dunnid to worry about 2.4 already!"

As shown from the above convo, both of us were amazed and stunned by how fast time past, as well as our ability to walk non-stop. Non-stop for two and a half hours without a tinge of tiredness.

Looks like shopaholism is indeed inborn.

Five months is just about to come to an end(alright it's only 11May now but just let me time travel alright?), and the second round of goodbyes are about to be spoken. Three are leaving, as of now. The fourth one is still not confirmed.

When I was first told of the news over the dinner table, I was rejoicing for the three of them. That scholarship is a valuable one. And all three are gonna be potential US, UK and Aus universities students, under full sponsorship. This is like a dream, a dream many Malaysians pursue, and only a handful are lucky enough. Of course, also capable enough. And they are among the few, the top of the cream, and they are ones of my favourite juniors. Of course I'm happy and proud of them. Well done!

But this kind of news often brings mixed feelings. When the wave of joy passes, another wave hits you. This wave of emotion is named reluctance - reluctance in accepting another truth, the harder truth, the less celebrated truth.

They are leaving, leaving on a good course, leaving for a long long time.

I know that once we leave our hometowns, where our comfort zones are, we'll be like coconuts(hmm a rather weird analogy), floating to wherever chances and opportunities bring us. We'll be moving from place to place, meeting people and extending our social networks in the process. First time leaving hometowns could be a reluctant one, but as we go on, we are more and more trained to cope with goodbyes, and eventually, we see partings as just another venture to another stage of life, where you'll meet new people, extend your social circle, and when time's up, the entire cycle repeats again.

Perhaps that explains why I wasn't really affected when the news arrived. However this doesn't mean that I'm entirely happy that they are leaving.

I still remember our first encounter with each other. Laogong and I were having dinner, when we were introduced to the bunch of them. The bunch which eventually became like one big happy family. Bridge sessions, truth or dare sessions and also birthday celebrations.

Then I thought of the promise we (Dan, Huiting and me) made about Dan and huiting getting the scholarship. I'll get a treat from the both of them if they get the scholarship. And the three of us laughed it off then. But looks like it's becoming a hard and fast reality soon. Having a free lunch is delightful indeed, but with a price of two of my juniors leaving? I'm not so sure of the bargain. Somehow I predicted such history to repeat itself, and I thought my mental preparation was up to the mark. Looks like at the point of repetition, preparations proved futile.

I thought of something someone wise once said. She said, worry not about who's staying by you, for those who will leave, will eventually leave. But it doesn't mean those who left will never come back. It's precisely because they left, or they had to, which makes the remaining time with them memorable and cherishable.

Yes popo, I'll mark your words.

Yet, I wish time lingers longer at present. I don't mind rounds and rounds of test, as long as I don't graduate so soon. The feeling of finishing A's is indeed awesome, but it also means I'm marching into another boundary of unknown future. When that time comes, many of those I love and care will spread their wings and be dispersed around the globe. Like dandelion, carried away by the evening wind.

Will we still recognize each other on the streets when we are 25?
Will your kids call me Auntie Ivy(taitai don't laugh, I know you LOVE this) when I see them?
Will I even meet your kids?

Like dandelions, we are clueless where we will be eventually. Like dandelions, we get carried to wherever the wind takes us to. Like dandelions, I know we'll be dispersed, and each will make a spring out of our lives.

And hopefully one fine day, after long long goodbye, we'll cross each other's paths again, and we'll display a very friendly and warm smile of acknowledgement.



Dandelions....

Everybody anticipated its release. Many flooded the cinemas on the first day of release. Then comments were split into two. And I went to watch it with Limin today.

Yes, I'm talking about the much-talked-about Spiderman3.

Those who watched it only had one of the two comments - fantastic to bits, or not worth the time. Well, I wouldn't say it was as fantastic as I expected, neither would I say it's a waste of my time. Though I'd want an afternoon nap.

I love happy endings. The best thing is always 'and they lived, happily ever after'. Fairytales, however untrue and unrealistic they are, do have influence on my thinking. Call me naive, but that's the way I'd want to see things - nice and pretty. So I'll be sad when people die in the stories. I'm sad when the great and the valiant dies. I'm also unhappy when the villain is killed. But the most heart-wrenching is to see a good person turns bad, really bad, and later realizes his mistakes and wants to redeem himself. And plots are never kind to these people, so they got killed in the end, when they finally become good.

What's more, the good guy who turned bad is a handsome guy. Handsome as in really good-looking. Have I told you I just love bad guys? They just have this element that locks my attention. Ooh and they just get more handsome when they turn from evil to good. And it is more heart-squeezing to see them die. Just like that. Just by shoving some razor-like blades into their chest. Whoa pain can. So was my heart:(

I must say I have to agree with some who said it was a waste of time, though it doesn't apply to the entire film. Well, with one movie already in the bag, there's only Pirates left. And if Spidey continues to have another sequel, I'm almost sure you won't find me queuing for the tickets.

I was a little disheartened by the comment. Not mere disappointment, it's more than that. I know it was not aimed at me as a whole, but I'm part of it and the comment surely included us. And I begin to wonder, what do you see us as? Do you know that mere comment of yours, however passing it was, was like a dagger which dug a portion of our flesh?

It hurts to hear that. I can choose to forget, and laugh it off, like what I did. But putting a fake show just to appease everybody doesn't work everytime. So one solid year of sharing and bonding and caring meant nothing? Come on. Was it not another technical fault this time? Who was to blame? No one, in fact. It's a wonder that after countless times of sillyness we went through, and also the strings of tears of joy or of sorrow we shed together, we still neglect each other. It's like telling me, you stink as a friend.

Frankly, how has it happened, if it really did happen? Tell me face to face, what I did which put you in a position to have such discouraging thinking like that. It really sends me into wonderland what I have done for the past twelve months or more, to have such a comment spoken of. I know the feeling, but was I the one causing the harm? Did anyone inflict such pain?

I tried to tell myself to not take it to heart when I heard that. Yes, pulling another comical face wasn't any challenge for me. But it set me thinking. Have I been a good friend?

What pleases a woman? What does F-R-I-E-N-D mean?

I have to give taitai credits for giving me inspiration to blogg.

Erratic is the word. So is the weather, so is my life of late.

I'm sure all of you standing on this little dot in the world map will realize how quick the sky changes lately. One minute you can be melting under the scorching heat, another minute you'll find yourself trapped in some storm that shook everyone by surprise. Or worse, umbrellas prove themself useless and rain just hit you at every angle it can hit.

Before my tutoring yesterday, I was kind of worried that it would rain because the clouds were just so thick and heavy and low in the sky. As if it was hovering just above my head and I just couldn't help feeling that it would disintegrate into a mass of droplets anytime. But when we wanted to do make up PE later in the same afternoon, we had a big round sunny sun shining brightly on us. Great. After a 2.4km (I ran the whole journey ok, never slack at all. So unlike me) run my vision consisted of only ONE colour - red. Precisely the colour of the track. For a minute or so I was almost blinded by the track. I actually closed my eyes at certain stretches to save myself from further agony. We actually ran half a round before realizing we didn't do warm ups -.-" But we carried on...

Leg aches followed as a result of that.

It's time for today's story now. After GP all of us went to coffeeshop for ban mian. The sun was shining brightly, nobody in the right mind would expect a storm. Since all big tables were occupied, we chose the one at the side - the shelter was just able to cover Lele's head. I was joking about how half-wet she might get if there was rain. When we were still queuing for our orders to be taken, the sky rumbled. All of us went "Harrrrrr...." Then all of us hoped that rain would only pour after we finished our meal at least.

But no. You just have to be in the left mind to be right. Not long after that water splashed everywhere. A few seconds later, the seven of us(the exclusion of Suzzy who lunched in the canteen, most fortunately) crowded around a small table. Phew, at least we could dine in a demure manner, and not taking free baths in rainwater. When we thought all was well for us, wind blew. Strong wind blew, and blew the blinds up. In our direction. Sending more water droplets in. We had to pull the table further in so that Piao Lele and HP wouldn't be drenched. And when we looked up occassionally, there was water leaking from the ceiling. Not one patch, but a few. Oh my the coffeeshop needs renovation desperately. If not when the next storm strikes, I'm not so sure whether the outer part would still be intact.

Someone should really be innovative and redesign the umbrella. Because in such erratic storm, umbrella only provides shelter to your head. No, maybe not even your head, because nice hairdos collapse even with the umbrella.

I did something unglam during Econs. It wasn't on purpose of course, I would even say it was reflex. I left my phone on the table, and went to wonderland shortly after that. So I was playing with Alice and rabbits when a sudden earthquake shook me. I opened my eyes with a jerk, to find my phone vibrating violently and Kylie grabbed it to prevent it from sliding down the table. Now why was the table slanted anyway? Should report faulty you know.. Anyway guess what? I got a message asking me to wake up -.- Indeed I did! Argh and both Kylie and Aulia saw my unglam act of jerking suddenly at the arrival of the message. So I made Econs lecture today something that brings them smiles when they think of it again:) Considered a good deed right?

In addiction to 'STAR' (in case you haven't realized, it's the song that's playing now)... Just can't shake the tune out of my head.
Human radio.

Hello.

Thanks for coming. But I encourage you to leave. As of now.
Oh no, this calls for reverse psychology. Alright, stay.
Ridiculous. As if I can dictate your choice by the mere two lines above. As always, the power to make any change is never in my hands.

The song that's playing is titled 'STAR'. Close your eyes, and let the melody carry you away. Like how it did to me.

Grey was my sky. Why are stars so hidden? Where have they gone? Have they decided to desert my sky and colour others'?

Come back, please, those butterflies in my garden of wishes.

I'm sorry loyalty got me this far. Since young I was taught that loyalty is a virtue I have to hold til the day I slumber and never to wake again. I'm sorry for being loyal to one and ignite flame in another. I'm sorry for keeping my promises. I'm sorry for being me.

So it came, finally. Words need not be spilled, but the message is clear. Call in animal instincts, but impending danger can always be sensed. Similarly, it doesn't take a genius to sense the change in attitude. How I wish I was really at fault. At least I deserve all that.

So much time spent on the garden, and the flowers are gone now simply because you see not where I was coming from. Just because I did not spill the truth you went uprooting every plant you see in the garden. I succumb to the fact. So the trust forged was so fragile. And I was always under the impression it was a London Bridge between us.

"London Bridge is falling down
Falling down, falling down..."

Somehow now I can understand that folk song a lot better now.
But discouraging indeed.

I'm tired. I will just stay put and not do anything till you learn to grow up.
Meanwhile I'll treat the wound you inflicted with words of dagger of yours.

It's not funny to see my Blogger turn out like this. It's not funny when what I said previously brought forth some meaning I least wanted it to bring.
It's not funny either, that after a timeless detour, everything falls back to square one.
It's like telling me, Miss Stupidity, you are a good-for-nothing failure.

Really? Am I like what you perceive?
I chose to let things pass because I didn't want to make a big din out of it.
I chose to feign ignorance so that you can preserve your self-perceived well deserved dignity.
I chose to tear in darkness to keep the fairytale intact in the eyes of others.
But where does it bring me?
Into a cave of accusations? Of reprimands which reverberated through the emptiness?

In stillness I lay. My mind wandered into the past, into nothingness, into imaginary-land.
Where all sins lie.
Cold as ice. Perhaps colder. But I didn't shiver.
Surprisingly my heart is still beating. I thought it stopped. I thought those words put a dagger right through it.

Effortless. As if all life was drained. To swallow the text took the whole chunk of what is left of me.

Nevermind. It doesn't matter.
Yes, I'm sure the words above will work this time, just like any other times when they were chanted over and over again.
Nevermind, it doesn't matter.

And I just thought of my clothes in the washing machine. Shucks.

Opportunities come, opportunities go.
Grasp it, don't you ever let go.

Yes, I understand. If I've taken lessons from this week, it shall be the beauty of oppotunities come knocking at your door at the RIGHT time. Opportunities, like time, like tide, wait for no man. ERm wait for no women either. BUT once time is ripe enough, it rests awhile at your doorsteps. Now then it'll be your responsibility to open your door and invite them in. For if you not, opportunity leaves your doorsteps and finds another taker.

We invited it into our life. Embraced it with respect. And such new joy it brings:)
The news came while I was still sleeping. Now I've awaken.
Is this happening for real? Is this not a part of my fantasy? It was too fantastic to be true.
Are my ears deceiving me? Are my eyes failing me? Most importantly, is what I say that true?
Pinch me, it hurts. What's the immediate implication?

Are you telling me this isn't my fantasy and my ears aren't deceiving me and my eyes aren't failing me and what I say is (finally) coming true?!

"Can't Take My Eyes Off You" - Mouse's edition, HAIR edition:)

"You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna scrunch you so much.
At long as chance has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you makes my day,
There are no words left to say,
But if you know how I feel,
Please tell me it is SO real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To make me feel alright.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby,
now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you."

(In case you are wondering, the 'you' refers to my new haircut.)

Time ticks. And never turns back.
I'm feeling the threat of the ever diminishing time available to study. Not to mention the amount we have to gobble down before JCT. It's like trying to overcome activation energy for reactions to occur. Just that now, I've got such a HUGE Ea to overcome and given NOT enough time. Gawr.

7 sets, in two week's time. Do I look like Brain in Pinky and the Brain? Do I look like I've got such big brain to be able to store ALL 7 sets? I think I look more like Pinky instead of Brain.. Ain't a good sign at all because Pinky is brainless, hopeless, helpless, and most important of all, stoooopid. Haha.

There used to be this joke. They say "time and tide waits for no man". And we used to say "yeah, that's why I'm slacking. Time and tide waits for no man, and I AM no man." And round it up with a light giggle.

I know why I'm getting heavier. My brain is growing in mass. I'm forcing stuffs in. Gosh, and it doesn't stop here. I've still got this mountain akin to Mount Everest worth of lecture notes to be digested and stored in the brain for JCT. After that we'll keep storing and storing until A's are over.

Interesting. If our brains really expand due to such increase in mass, the hall will collapse when A's come, because it just can't suport all of us at all!

Alright the above was just a product of boredom with my innate humour(or should I say, lameness). The crux is this. Time is running out. And I'm wasting somemore by talking cock.

There was a picture in the ST today with a brain flying towards a door. Sun was shining brightly from outside. My first reaction - brain drain? Then, without looking at the title nor the passage, I thought hmm, the picture looks like brain drain due to movements of talents to countries with bigger and/or more promising opportunities(the interior of the room where the brain was, was dark). Then it struck me. It doesn't take much brain to tell that the article was probably talking about talent influx to Singapore, and brain drain in countries like, well, Malaysia. And bingo, here goes the title - Singapore's gain, Malaysia's loss.

Hmm. Am I gonna be one of the brains flying away to another country? Am I even one of the 'brains' they are talking about in the first place? I don't know what the future holds. But I can't go back in time.

后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不在

What is gone, is gone. Is realization always too late?

Sleep is good. It's been really long since I could zonk out just like that. I miss that piggy me. I want her back.

AC triumphed over Man U!

Stunned by my inability to express myself today. Perhaps I was just affected.
Words can kill. They can dampen your spirit, no matter how high flying it is. I shall just kick his ass out of my peripheral vision. Yeah I should.

I was looking for some inspiration(for nothing in particular, just to exercise the little grey cells), and I chanced upon this word when I was about to give up - stigmatisation.

Stigmatisation, such a familiar word nowadays. What shall I say? It happens everywhere. That's why.
And why's that so? It all boils down to superficiality. Society is geared more and more towards appeal than real substance itself. Stigmatisation can happen in two ways - when you are exceptionally good, or when you are really bad.
Perhaps we should really pause and think. Are the stuffs we are doing now right? Are they right?
Do you really, like what people say, treat others with your heart?
Do you?

It's amazing how opportunities come when time is right. That is, you've got to be at the right place, in the right clothes, at the right time! The feeling of coincidence is just so great, and precisely the same feeling I have not been experiencing for quite some time. Hmm, that shows how long I haven't been out shopping. I still remember how always lucky I was, whenever I was roaming aimlessly around Orchard, and I'm bound to bang into SALEs which helped me save aLOT of money. Then there was this time where we ended up in flea market - my first encounter with flea market, where we really got loads for a puny price.

I feel obliged to tell all of you this. I CHANGED HAIRSTYLE.
Yes, again. I know, I know just what you people are gonna say. Shh. I say for you all.
It was a month ago when I last cut my hair. And a month later, I got it even shorter.
Shorter means SHORTer. It's not even touching my shoulders heheh.

The story went like this. Xiruo, laogong and me ran off to parkway immediately when we were released. Then after much pondering Xiruo decided to have her hair cut at REDs. OOh. So laogong and I were both accompanying her inside the salon. Then a lady came over and asked us if we were interested to be her 'models'.

"But I've just cut my hair!" were both our exclaims. Guess it didn't do much to lessen the impact her tempting words had on us and so out of curiosity both of us said ok. It started with two, and extended to five of us in the end, with the addition of Pear and Thu and Yunfei.

I shall now tell you about what happened when we were in the salon, from eight to ten. Yes, two hours of having the professionals fussing over your hair. Just how great the feeling that was! Can you imagine? REDs is a salon which I'll always dream to enter, but will never have the chance to as long as I'm not finacially promoted. So you see? JUST HOW COOL IS THAT MAN!

There was this guy, whom we presumed to be the hairstylist advisor, who went around playing with our hair and giving instructions how to cut every strand of hair and create a look that's either so close to who we are, or suit us the most. Just one outcome - as long as you are open enough to change, you'll get a satisfactory result.

And indeed! When he came around, the first thing he did was to ruffle my hair and said "Hmm, we'll give you something bold." Then he went on, taking tresses of my hair from different parts and told the hairdresser the way in which she should cut to create the effect he had in mind. Then I caught something like "have it something like a bob..." Wah BOB? It was that kind of hair I've parted with for... I lost count of how many years already. So bob is back for me?

Question marks kept sprouting as they were like beans, and curosity was burning from within. Staring at the reflection, watching every single detail they did to my hair, and seeing the transformation was simply great! I was very delighted at how my hair suddenly looked thicker after they did all the funny stuffs. And the greatest part was definitely having that advisor playing around with my hair, with him always saying "we shall me bold.. this girl has hair that we can play around with.. must be wild.. make it nice..." and all sorts of comments I just never bothered to remember because I was just too absorbed in looking at him running his fingers through my hair!

And all of us walked out of REDs at 10pm, transformed. And vanity being a major component of women(ok ME la ME) we just couldn't stop looking at every mirror possible. Wahaha. And I was saying should start investing on moouse, hair wax blablabla.
Pear:"Aww bye bye long hair..."
Mouse:"Oh ya! Ya bye bye my long hair... And hi hi hair moouse!"

But all thanks to my roomate, who brought us there in the first place. Had she not gone into REDs, this 'modelling' would be unheard of.

Clothes aren't gonna make me broke.
Food isn't gonna make me broke.
Shoes definitely not gonna make me broke.
Hair products ARE gonna make me broke.

And I can forsee waking up even earlier to get my look for school.
I start to wonder how Looneys are gonna respond to.. err.. my look.

I begin to think that metrosexuals are charming. They have poise and style in almost every single little thing they do. The way they dress, the way they talk, and even the way when they don't talk(you know who I'm referring to) hahaha. But then again, despite all these, I don't think I can tolerate a metro boyfriend. Hmm.

MissyIvy
A Cynic with passion for
the Art of Sarcasm
Chemist in training

Do Better Nails
World Peace
AIDS Free
most importantly,
Finish Everything ON TIME! and
try not to be late

Why Clairebear Joyce ShuM Ziewearn Dan Kylie Eug

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