For no obvious reasons, I went to bed really early yesterday. I said 'for no obvious reasons' because for one, it wasn't my PE day so I did not tire myself out. For two, I did not go shopping and hence did not work my leg muscles. For three, I did not study (oops guilty) and neither did I do tutorials (oops I did it again), so I did not drain my brain cells. And lastly, I did not stuff myself with food, nor did I have any meals at 10, so there shouldn't be any after-meal-drowsiness.
Therefore feeling so tired and finally knocked out at 11pm FOR NO OBVIOUS REASONS is really unusual and uncommon for me.
According to my roomate, I really slept like a pig, for I did not hear my message tone which reverberated in the room for god know how many times. I woke up in the morning at 10, just to find that there were 4 unread messages.
***
A bug has infected many around me lately. Yes, the flu/sick bug. So many people I care for were down, one after another, with the bug. And the bug is reproducing at an alarming rate that all its children and grandchildren are rapidly spreading the virus, everyday a new host is targetted. Hmm. Must find a way to combat the bug. Eat fruits that are rich in Vit C, people. Vit C does wonders :)
Sometimes I wonder, what's the purpose of me being part of this world? I live everyday as it is, like there will be a tomorrow for me to continue my daily routine. I live everyday as a means to wait for ALevels to come. After that then what? What is the purpose of me waking up every morning? Just to find that I'm still alive and nuclear bomb has not been dropped onto where I am? For some odd reasons, I refuse to look into my own future. I just wish that this second stays on longer, but no. Mr Tick Tock has taken yet another second of step forward.
The more I mull over certain things, the more confused I get.
Why do some people indulge in guessing games? I mean, yes, undoubtedly such games are thrilling and yes it adds spice to your lives but there should be a limit to how far u can go, shouldn't it? It gets tiring if you keep guessing for too long.
And so I stopped. I quit the game I called mine. Wait a minute, that wasn't even MY game. I did not start it. I did not know for sure even, when exactly it started. I called it quits. I withdrawn.
Then what?
Subtle as it was, I walked into the game I quit. It was too late when I realized.
Codes are everywhere, left for smart people in the game to decipher.
Smart people huh? Looks like I'm one of them.
Codes I left there, with the slightest hope that it will be picked up.
But I turned and walked away even before I see the results.
As always.
Just like a game of gamble. There's always a banker and a player.
The banker deals the cards. He sets the ball rolling.
He sets everything.
And a player walks in, puts down the stake.
Full of guessworks, the player takes the cards the banker deals.
Win or lose it depends on the cards.
Win or lose it depends on the banker.
It is the banker's game. It is the dealer's game.
In this game of gamble, I am the player.
Who walks in and staked my hopes.
The banker has it in his hands.
And after a few rounds of game, I'm tired of always putting down the bet. The banker has not lost a game.
I wanted to win, but it isn't my game.
It felt unfair, does it not?
That's why I wanted to call it quits. Yet again.
And this time, to call it quits, I as the player, must not to step into the casino again.
***
On a lighter note, the song that's been stuck in my head for days is finally on my blog.
Yeah, 非你莫属 by 林依晨.
As I am listening, it brought back memories, which to my surprise, suited the song.
I guess if I were to make an MV of the song with those flashes of memories in my mind just now, it would turn out to be just fine. It would be my MV.
Yeah, it just fits in.
