finally got menghon's tix.

hwa chong symphonic band concert
victoria concert hall
6 may 1930

why am i still going for band stuff when i told myself to stay away from it.
lunched wif yeanthing, hoekit and menghon in breeks. which reminds me of the 15 bucks i owe hoekit. as usual, cant leave out the jokes and sacarsm. yeah, that's the way.

PARKWAY CRAZY SALE!!!!!!!!!!!
things were up to 50%!!! my gosh! but din really splurge, other than buying make up remover (which means i'll be putting them on for real XD) and... facial wash? totally no link. anyway the clothes were on sale!! so so so so cheap! ok not REALLY cheap but definitely cheaper than usual!

which awakened the shopaholic in me.

there's a shopaholic in every girl. trust me.

i wont stop feeling great holding bags from different shops. the more the merrier. of coz. that means i enjoy buying stuff!! the more the happier!! *beeps* emergency alarm here, shopping ban.

but heck la.

the cleansing milk in body shop is only 9.90! hey itz almost 50% ok.. usual price is like... 18.90?
baleno racer back, 10 per piece, minimum 2 pieces. cheap! as in cheaper than usual. i like the red one!!!
i realize i'm infatuated with bright colours, colours that gives you a sense of vibrancy.
so that includes red (the brighter the better, but no maroon), pink (oh man he li just pointed out that i'v been so pinky-all-over, but no, i'm not that pink-rocks-my-world kind of person), yellow (i dun think i really love it la since i din look good in it), black and white!
and i forgot to mention, teal! teal is so pretty! the pair of earrings from xcessorize i love so much are teal in colour! so pretty! but ahem, i din buy, reason being no clothes to match and wallet deflated ald.
but no worries, therez always a way to match the earrings to my clothes!
brown, black and white are such universal colours!
dun worry earrings darlings! i'm gonna get u soon XD come to mommy~~~

ok i realize i've been blabbling so much abt sale today. as you can see, the shopaholic me is in me. itz me.
ok this doesnt make sense, but i'm glad i'm not the typical shopaholic. at least i still have the conscience to save. hah. at least i dun buy wadever i see, and even bother to forgo certain stuffs i like just to look after my wallet.
u noe, money is such important necessity that u cant live without! and wallet being my best friend to money, musnt be skinny! it must be fatter than me:)

last but not least, thank you thank you thank you he li!!!!! my pretty darling roomate in vh for accompanying me go shopping crazy! haha! looks like u've splurge much more than me hah. enjoy eating ur 30 packs of cheese balls muahahaha..........

ooh i want you
i dunno if i need you
but ooh i'd die to find out

ooh i want you
i dunno if i need you
but ooh i'd die to find out

so can we find out?

now someone called ee chan is looking at my blog. haha. ok random.

anyway i said that day that i'll blog this down. and so it goes:

every thurs bio lecture, jiale karen, kylie, weifen, szeying will prepare way before chem tutorial for chem tutorial. im not talking sense here. so basically we packed our bags way b4 the bell rings during bio lecture. and dash straight to container classroom for chem lesson.
why?
reasons being simple. we wanna be kiasu in a sense that we dun wanna end up sitting in front of the classroom!! so we dashed straight to container and snatched the 'right' places for ourselves. haha. so a yesterday was thurs and we had the same 'routine'. i think we must have been the most enthu ppl to leave bio lecture. haha. maybe we embarrassed ourselves in LT man. huaha. so when we reached the container the last class still havent vacated the room. then the whole lot of us just dashed in and the teacher was still in the class. straight away aft we dashed in we started arranging the tables into one straight like spanning the width of the classroom. so fun huh. we were like laughing and giggling while arranging the tables and chairs.

well then the teacher remarked, "frankly speaking, i have never seen a class so eager to get to another class before! this is indeed not normal for tj!"
and the whole lot of us laughed.
***
somehow itz so easy to be happy.

april/may is such a performing arts season for all jcs in singapore. oh man. concerts after concerts. performances aft performances. itz even worse when u have frens in different skuls. that depletes ur balance even more. waah. but i cant say i dun wanna go right, when i really wanna go. and i cant say i dun wanna go when my frens are performing!

oink.

i realize i've been losing my cool quite frequently recently. grrr. my temper is getting from bad to worse. like wad ppl always say " temperamental. 90% temper, 10% mental". ha. so i think i shall join caligraphy. itz been so long since i last touched my beloved brush. and the ink. and the paper. my gosh. itz gonna feel reminiscent man. im gonna train my patience and perseverence. that's what i need to go on.

leo meeting was boring. the nominees were doing self intro. the process was really patience demanding. we sort of dozed off or played hp or talked nonsense. i even saw ppl sleeping. so obvious. and this continued til john started speaking. haha he has this charismatic voice (according to abi) which reverberates in the LT, which woke everybody up almost instantly. esp the girls haha. he's running for pres, and i think he has gotten all the girls' votes ald la! steady man john! haha. oh and i forgot to mention, abi, im not fond of him la.dont give me that look lols. i called his name coz i noe him only! that's all!

oh, but if u wanna get 'closer' to him, i'm very glad to be of help:) just ask!

up til this point, i still wonder if leo is wad i really want.
huh. maybe band will make matters less complicated.
but i think itz too late.

too late. why is it always too late?

you're beautiful
you're beautiful
you're beautiful, it's true
i saw your face
in a crowded place
and i don't know what to do
'cos i'd never be with you

if someone would say this to me?
haha. random.
this song just stuck itself in my head.
and i realize the need to push my previous post down.
itz getting embarrassing haha.

things seem to fall back in place. i think we just started all over again. itz a good sign tho. but does it mean itz a harbinger of doom as well?
it feels familiar. but i din feel wad i felt weeks ago. which brings me all the way back to day 1.
i dont want anymore heartbreaks and jealousy.

all i want is M E and myself, my L I F E back.

this dawned on me suddenly. today.
it feels so nice to study. everybody claps for ivy please.
i still cant believe wad i actually did today. itz like, nvr done it before.
went to hub and typed out econs. econs hw down.
then library study chem bonding. finally understand wad dat stack of stuff is! feel so accomplished:) hmm i shall spend more time in tj library... itz such a nice place to study. i think i'm turning mugger now but aiyo who cares as long as i get my grades(i hope) and still have life:) right?
say yesss!

anyway now i think the kfc encounter was so funny.
ha imagine i actually turned to that group of ppl and said hi?

i realize i cant study in my room. itz too cosy.
n i like studying n fast food restaurants or library.
i hope i can continue this way. if yes then voila! therez hope for my JCT!
though i still think itz a bit too early to think abt JCT...

im blogging again. i wont say why. u'll see later.

i completed bio enzymes tutorial in kfc. was studying econs.. sth abt AC and MC and AVC and what not when this group of teens came and took the tables opposite mine.
of coz, they talked and joked. i din pay much attention to them, was indulging myself in my econs, seeing stars everywhere.

then i heard sth like "why u keep staring at the girl behind me ar?"
then the whole group laughed, of coz ask who that girl was.
and i juz assumed itz some guy looking at pretty girls. so happened that there were quite some girls sitting at the other side of the place. so i still read the econs notes.

then the-guy-who-stared-at-a-girl's frens were like joking and said in chinese "hey girl, can we be frens?" "hey can give me ur number?" and all of that sort. i found it quite amusing at first. but as they giggle and laugh and raised their volume it started to get irritating.
mind you, i was studying. or trying to study.

then i took out my bandito pockett. and ate.
and one of the girls asked in chinese "actually who were u guys talking abt? which one?"
then a guy replied also in chinese " duh, who else sitting behind me?"
then i think the girl still din know who.
the guy said again "who else can u see eating bandito pockett?"
OH MY GOD.
to confirm that i'm not their subject, i looked at the other direction. there was one more girl eating bandito pockett. thank god.

then it came again. i assume the girl who asked saw TWO girls eating bandito pockett.
then another guy said again, also in chinese, the most disgusting thing i've heard today.
"who can u see eating bandito pockett and wearing white shirt?"

B I N G O!

then the whole group burst out laughing. apparently he had made it known to each and everyone in that group. if there were a hole, i would hide myself inside man.
i lost my appetite instantly.
they just wouldnt stop! things like "i help u get her number la" "aiyo i change place wif u so that u can see clearer la" bla bla bla.

W A L A O!!!!!!! can they just stop it?

and han loong saved my day! coz out of frustration i looked out, and saw han loong! then i said hi to him, then he came over. ha, then the group just made some disappointing sound and said things like "no hope" haha. thanks han loong! oh, han loong was going for dance concert, that's why he was there.

it was so irritatingg!!!!!
but i pity that guy who was supposedly looking at me (not being thick face here). he was the joke of the day man. but i nvr heard him speak. maybe i have, but i just din look over. and luckily i din look over.
actually, they, i mean the guys there, were quite cool la. just that i'm too irritated to take any notice.
and i wont be interested in any one of them man.

eew! that's my day in parkway.

first of all, hi amanda! if u'd still see this the nxt time u come.

let me sort things out in chronological order.
***
sports day. ran off at 3 i guess. and dilly dally till five sth to get things ready and going.

asean nite. thanks he li for coming!
it feels so warm to see people u havent been seeing for ages.
people such as hien, christin(miss u as roomate man), all the ny borders.. bla bla bla...
AND most importantly... i met SHUHUEY!!! my 6B classmate when i was still in ave maria!

i assume both of us changed quite a bit aft a few years here. i wouldnt be able to recognize her if i see her outside. i guess itz the same for her. thanks to khoon hiang who intro us haha. oh man! the world is so small! or rather singapore is so small. how nice it feels to have coincidences happening ard u. like wad winston says, they happen all the time, just that u might not notice.
quite true, yea.

and tj won the best performance! our mass dance.
of coz, yongyi and i joined in for whiney and i want u.
dunno whether the tj scholars are annoyed anot but oh wells, not up to u to decide wad i love anyway.
***
bird flu talk. jiale shuzhen shiying and i were busy drawing and scribbling when they were speaking ok. not being rude here but we simply just couldnt concentrate. that's all.
was walking in bedok interchange, aft saying gdbye to shiying. then i saw this old lady from the back, which reminded me of popo. of coz popo has stronger legs than her but for various reasons she just reminds me of popo so much! so much that i even followed her through one street, until she turned into some chinese medicine shop.

i guess thatz evident enough to show how much u actually miss her in the heart. how much i actually miss my family. just that i'm too preoccupied to think of them.

yea, i miss them.
just hope june hols will come faster.

time is the universal solvent. itz so polar that it sucks away all ur feelings and relationships no matter how strong u think u've fostered. and every molecule just dissociates, scattered and dispersed in space.

try catching bits and pieces of dissociated particles in air. hard iznt it?

sometimes itz really not up to any one of us to decide what to do and what not, just to salvage a broken relationship or one on the verge of breaking down. itz not as easy as you just say, oh, if i be a little more active then he/she wont feel neglected or outcasted. im not referring to anyone in particular here. im sure many of us have experienced this before. i myself was landed into this kind of situations thousands of times.

that is why i dread goodbyes. coz u'll never know.
and i dun wanna know.

but somehow i always know. however contradictory it may sound.

however close you are at this point of time to that person, aft months or maybe years being apart from each other, will you be very certain you can sit in starbucks and talk for long time if you ever meet him/her again some other day?

i wouldnt know.

i shall keep this short. blogging is addictive. that's why im here. anyway i think using the com is addictive. u'll tend to use it even without a purpose. that's why im still here.

cant believe how much i need to do today!

gp compre, maths tutorial, econs essay!

and to think that i actually forgot to bring my econs notes for lecture! so the entire econs lec i was practically stoning. seemingly appear to have understood what she said, but actually i just remember the names. names that sound profound such as perfect competition, oligopoly (i think this is the right spelling) bla bla bla, and bla bla bla. so gotta buck up, and read on my own. eeee...

lunch aft pw. like, finally!! went hungry the entire day just because we couldnt find a place to sit during our break. thanks to smart tj who decides to be 'outstanding' and 'unique'. build the canteen like a cafe. yeah itz comfy but not practical tho. therez obviously not enough space to accommodate the entire level! let alone the TA ppl... start to find them irritating. partly coz the TA scholars get to stay in vh when we mainstream gotta travel like siao. ok, i shant go further on telling you how i feel abt seggregation of scholars. boo.

then went back to the lib to discuss gp skit. i think we managed to 'liven' up the lib. we were the noisiest la! so destructive to other ppl who intended to study and thinks the lib is the best place to do so. hah. and there we produced the masterpiece! huahaha.

it was pouring, literally, when i walked out of the lib. still gotta make my way to parkway. to meet he li! darling roomate came back from italy ald! and she bought me a pink nailpolish! man i dun even dare to use it coz itz too nice! itz from venice. and a necklace wif a pendant made of glass. and some tea. thank you man! muah! we sat in kfc for so long that both of us were freezing inside. walked inside parkway for a while, and he li bought this necklace from accessorize. i found my new targets! i couldnt decide on which earring to buy coz there were three of them. but guess what? i din buy a single pair in the end. thanks to he li reminding me of my shopping ban ha. so i managed to resist the temptation..... i'm beginning to see the improvement in me.
good sign dont u think?

gotta get back to my room and busy myself with my work which stacks all the way up to Mt Everest!
i wonder if i could ever-rest tonight?

twice easter celebration i've participated in two days. both speak of jesus rising from His grave.

somehow i prefer small churches to big ones.
i went to city harvest ytday. and amazing grace presbyterian church today to witness oddball's confirmation. in the house of God u really feel the power of faith, something i need for the time being to pull through.

that's why i went to temple aft lunch at oddball's church. i like going to the temple. esp when i go there alone. time suddenly stops there. all u hear is incessant chanting of prayers and the chimes at regular intervals. though some may find them bothering, i found unspeakable peace in mind when i immerse my thoughts in them.

this is when ur thoughts run free. this is when u do self reflection in the most effective way. this is also when u find answers to ur questions. something like what christians get during their services.

i begin to like these holy places. places where u feel closer to any God u worship.

when we feel helpless or hopeless or the world turn their backs on you, be rest assured that God will never do so if u believe in them. sometimes when we are tired coping taxing problems and u feel like all ur strength is drained away, it is this spiritual support that u need from ur religion. and with the spiritual support u see light again, and miraculously u are propelling forward, reaching for the sun.

i realize i've turned this post into a religion talk.

so i've found my answer. enough is enough. enough of acts of stupidity, thoughts of foolishness that had veiled my path! no more temptation, devilish distractions which veered me off my path to sunshine. it may feel heavenly at first, but a fallacy will continue to be one. it will never replace the truth. all these enjoyment is temporary, and over time the true ugly face will be reveiled. if u still havent gotten back to ur real path and directions by then, u'll find yourself in, according to the reverand, a path which leads to spiritual destruction.

i'm glad i've found my peace. i shall give in no more to distractions. i shall stay firm at my ground, the solid faith i'm holding on to right now. and never falter.

im here again. a perfect evidence to how boring my GOOD friday is. credits to the shopping ban, the Mt.Everest-high tutorials, PI 2nd draft and lecture tests nxt week. all due next week. argh.

suddenly feel so distant from the vh msians..... miss them to bitz.

not only in vh. i miss my family, my hse, my bed, my clothes, dad's car, the relatives, bla bla bla...
i miss poilam peeps, their scandals, their jokes, the teachers (whom i like of coz), the times together...
i miss also ecp, the times where we had bbq, sea regatta when we dunked so many ppl in, the times where i walked along the beach wif different ppl...
i kind of miss band too...

dunno why i miss everything that happened to me before...

listen to the music of the night. datz my new msn nick.
yeah, sometimes when u are at lost as to wad u should do next, simply take a step backward, and see wad the night has to offer. the music of the night, may be an inspiring one for all u noe.

and the music of last night was definitely a blast!

i woke up at 1030 diz morning, just to realize that last night was over. how i wish, and wish yesterday was forever.
it was mardi gras in tj. so everyone had half day, but since my class ends skul at 1155 on thurs, therez no half day for 27/06 eeeee..... nvrtheless it was also vj sports day! we had lunch in skul, then hp, shiying and me went to parkway to search for hair spray. how ridiculous to find that whenever u nid sth, it never appears but when u dun nid it, u see it everywhere! agree wif me? took us almost one hr to finally buy a $6.90 red hair spray. i doubted whether it was enuff for 6 ppl anot. from there, we broke into diff directions, and i went back to dunman. met eechan on 196. shortly aft i unloaded my stuff in my room, i fled for vj sports day again.

i was in full tj u, so i was quite uncertain whether itz nice to enter just like that. ha. what a funny encounter wif the guard. he was so nice! then called oddball, i believe i was blind coz she was just standing in front of me when i called her. so nice to c her again! and met up wif ruth shanelle wenjia linxun trinette stella and later jonny boy ray sy and eric. then rachel and shanelle were teaching me how to eat that jelly-like icecream! yumyum! met shirley. so nice to c her again. mass dance. and i miss vj even more. love vj even more.
so where is stj huh?

straight aft mass dance luying yongyi and me chiong for mardi gras. we sprayed our hair red! flaming! we took a pic of red hair peeps haha.and i want that pic! but poor ks.. i dunno if he was bored haha. then finale was the best. there was mass dance. i guess we missed dhoom. but we still managed to catch retarded and speedy! so fun! saw jialin in front of me. retarded was good man. i could dance everything! whee! then skul song. somehow ytday the skul song sounded nice. oh and i forgot to mention, i sang the victorian anthem as well.

and i must say, now i feel that i belong to both skuls. i hope vj wont disown me. being so thick face here heheh.
***

i cant believe how lucky i am!!!!

2 days ago, me sotong head lost my access card aft having one fun day meeting up wif old frens. then i was thinking, sixty bucks gone and one more month of quarantine from shopping.

just now when i went to office to report my lost of card, they showed me my card in a plastic bag! that was my card! mine!! cant tell you how surprised+delighted+astonished i was! for one second earlier i was on the verge of losing 60 more dollars, and the next moment was as if i just found 60 dollars! can u imagine that kind of emotional upturn?

and i must say, im in high spirits for the whole day.
maybe wif a bit of stomach upset.

the office guy said someone in tj found my access card, and brought all the way to the hostel! my god! u r so nice! u have such a BIG heart!! thank you thank you thank YOU so much! whoever you are, i know chances are u wont find you way here but but still, THANKS A BUNCH MAN!!!!!
if i ever know u, i owe u a meal. really.

somehow i have this gut feeling that everything that happened to me in a space of just one month - jae posting, moving hostel, emotional ups and downs as well as this, are connected. i dun really see their connection, but i can feel it.

thanks again to that kind soul who returned me my card!
*mu-ahs* give u a big fat kiss!

ks got into sing poly!!! WELL DONE!!!

the rest will just be random thoughts.

and should i go back for alumni prac?
do i ever noe wad i want?
do i have the courage to go aft that?

i wont even dare to.
such a loser i noe.

but i've never tried.
and success rate is unpredictable.

i dun dare to risk everything.
itz not worth my guts.

Daylight,
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And i mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

from Memory, CATS

after so much hoo haa i still go back to the starting point. band. i guess thatz really wad i want deep inside, tho aft so much of discontentment and sorts of feelings ever arisen because of it. since the day i got to know i wasnt playing for appa 9 i thot i was very disappointed wif nycb, that i dun see the point in continuing. but still, i worked for syf. tho i must admit i'm not at all a good eupho but i did put work in it. and for that i sacrificed my mid year. but i din regret. during syf period we complained so much, and yet we still go back everytime. arts fest marked the last performance as nycbian. and i thot, finally, aft arts fest then i would be free. free from band. no more restrictions.

but what is free, when it has become a habit to visualize myself playing the nat anthem in the quadrangle every monday aft arts fest? what is free, when instinctively i would look up to where the banders were standing, on third level, everytime i hear a mistake? and tell me, is this called free at all when aft all the cca tryouts, i turn to band in the end? NO.

i realize it now. no matter how lousy i am as a eupho player, itz band that i miss. of coz, itz my instru that i miss more. there was once when i developed this dread for band prac in vj, but despite all the grumbling i went for sectionals and pracs.

jae. and i thot i would start anew in a new skul. new means no more band, no more pasts. but for three weeks without going there at all, sth seems to be lacking. and he li was right. band has become a part of me. and i'm on the verge of losing my bet wif her now. all the other ccas i joined, i din feel the urge to commit.

not only me. shuzhen too. she has tried to avoid CO for so long, but realized that itz almost impossible. she said one thing "i think deep inside, we have the passion for it. for this passion will never die, we will always go back, no matter how far we tried to stay away." how profound if may sound, itz meaning so apparent.

so should i go back? i'm in dilemma again.

wy msged me juz now, saying she'll go back this sat. how delighted i was! of coz i'll want to go. but now, im kind of holding back again. should i, in the first place, appear? if i ever do, i'll never be able to pull back anymore. that im sure.

i'm not sure whether i want to go thru the entire cycle of pracs and performances, then annual concert then ultimately, syf. and hey, itz my A's nxt year. am i sure i wanna do these?

i dunno. im not sure. i'm in dilemma.

someone please light up my vision, for it feels cold to be in the dark.

yy was saying she's heartbroken coz her crush has a girlfriend ald! wells girl, u r too pretty for that guy! i'm sure u're gonna find someone far better than that.. erm.. king kong XD not to be mean here la but his size is really ar..compared to me, hugee.

but i'm disappointed too. met cheechin on9. thanks cheechin! thanks for telling me so many things! i hope u can get over the pain asap. i support u in wadever u plan to do wif it. maybe i'll consider what u suggested... but i'm scared if im disappointed again.

maybe i shouldnt think so much?
but itz like an irritating bug bugging me whenever i'm not thinking of things!
maybe i shall busy myself wif things.

pain takes time to dissolve...

important announcement!!!

adoption of money saving policy(sounds familiar?)
it suddenly struck me that i spend so much money!!! i just cant stand it. aggravated by the msg uncle sent me regarding my fone usage. my goodness! 540 local msgs! oh i must be sick.
therefore i shall adopt a money saving policy which was proposed two years ago due to the same reason, but was nvr carried out for various reasons too. and i shall break the norm now.
it goes like this : i'm only gonna bring 5 dollars to skul everday. and by right i should have bucks extra. this is so that i wont spend more than usual. prevent unnecessary spending.
everyday aft skul not to go out. not even parkway. it is to minimise distractions that ultimately cost money. so where should i go aft skul? straight back to dunman OR stay in library. which i think both oso quite boring.
and what happens on satsand suns? STAY in dunman as far as possible. not to go out, coz going out means spending on food (for me) and that means money again.

but listen everyone! im going to adopt and implement this policy for ONE MONTH exactly, starting from next monday, 10 april. whoa a big day man. see how much money i can save. i am broke man. and if i ever succeed in sustaining this kind of no-life-nerd kind of life for one month, i'l definitely go splurge on one gluttony meal man as reward lols.

wait for the results....

i stayed in skul til 3 sth for gp! claps for ivy! i did so much for that freaky subject!
again, tj resembles ny so much. bleah. cant believe it. i'm still within the shadows of nanyang. rmb ivle? tj has the exact same thing too. worse, the layout of the website is exactly the same. literally i mean. just that they changed the colours.

MY GOSH

frankly speaking, i nvr enjoyed ny much. if i said i was happy last two years in sg, it was purely becoz of the way i spend my days. NOT in skul. and the ppl i was with.
all ny girls and tjcian, if u think i'm this unloyal person to the skuls and u r super duper angry wif me, go ahead. i've reached a point where i just couldnt care less abt wad others think. tolerance level has reached the max. so the volcano erupts.
and mind u, if u dun run, u'll melt in the hot larva.

two years. i've lived in such life-less life for two years. when i entered jc at first i thot finally, i can walk out of all those constraints and restrictions and bla bla bla. finally can breathe in air of freedom. and that was perfectly wad vj gave me. again i stress i'm not comparing anything. i'm merely stating the facts. i nid to vent my anger whatsoever here. i'm utterly disappointed.

i wanna leave. fly free. but i dun wanna do it alone. why do i end up alone everytime?
i was the only person to come here.
i was the only person who left vj.
i m still the only one left.

perhaps i'm fated to go back to shadows and remain there? but i dun want to be reduced to shadows. i dun like.

but i could do nothing.
rawr.

im rather stoney today!
my day started quite slow, wif me walking slower than normal to the bus stop. i realize more and more tjcians board the bus from laselle than the other one:) told u all that bus stop is better, hah! the day went on as any normal tj day, except that jiayi, weifen, shuzhen, hengpei and i did sth rather stupid today! we went to rm 216 straight aft chem prac (which wasnt a prac at all) and waited there for the rest. and waited. then we realized sth was wrong! our classmates nvr come!! it was only then that it dawned on us that civics and lunch were interchanged. claps.

i dun like the council meeting in tj. sucks. itz like, hey, sc becomes like uniformed group. the j2s shouted at them and they were so so serious! madness! i dun want this kind of ppl to represent me man. do any of u all know what fun means?!

and i just got to know that chem lec test is nxt mon. well done. atomic structure. that was the lec i ponned. and i din pay much attention in vj either for that topic. ivy, u've got work to do. and yes, i'm still here.

went to orchard wif yongyi. on the way, i saw so many familiar faces, all proud to be a victorian. nvm, i shall not say anymore. yay, i collected my contacts ald. then went shopping wif yongyi. whoa levi's offering 70% discount! and the shop in taka was so flooded wif ppl that they had to queue up outside the store to be admitted! looks like some cinema queue liddat.

walked all the way to far east. feels like long time ago since i last entered far east. which is quite true la. it was my first time in this year stepping into far east. feels like far east has got loads to offer liddat. hmm. yongyi bought this foam board to decor her wall, while i just collected my contacts. that's all for our orchard trip today. and it rained:( but we used yongyi's foam board as unbrella! i think the ppl who walked past us must be thinking we were nuttos of the year man. we laughed and argh-ed along the way coz the wind was blowing, and the foam board threatened to fly away! haha. what a chio umbrella!

i passed my napfa mock in today!! so happy!! we only nid to do 3 inclined pull ups and jump, so i passed all:) but unlike vj, u dun get to skip pe. boo. but u can play. yay.

it rained again today. coupled with frequent lightning and thunder. i forgot to bring my umbrella so itz fated that i had to attend chem make up lec. luckily it wasnt raining aft lecture so i went back dry! cheers for ivy:)

yes he li, the vj soccer guys are damn hot! i agree! esp aft shaving their heads!
and im so gonna miss them.

well done. the rain really made my day man. apart from soaking my already-faded tj green skirt, a big round of applause for taking my entertainment from me. hrmph. i'm ald lifeless u still wanna rain so heavily that cats and dogs are falling and hitting the ground so so hard.
not to mention, u drenched my heart too.
***
this is not some desperate housewives dialog, but i want a boyfriend.
cant believe it. finally in a mixed skul, and yet as good as girls' skul.
yes i love my skul. i'm sure.
something is obviously wrong wif me. im really scared of loneliness now. suddenly. ytday aft sending he li back i went back to parkway again, alone, in view of grocery shopping that obviously was unsuccessful. well done again.
perhaps it was becoz of the rain. or perhaps it was becoz of me wandering aimlessly inside, looking at happy couples dating. then i asked, why am i alone here? where is everybody? it was that sudden realisation of how alone i was that chilled me.

surrounded by coldness in the dark
i could not find my light
i yelled and screamed
but no one answered
i was alone, with no one there to hold my hand
and give me warmth
and to guide me along
and to love me, not for who i appeared to be
but for who i really am.

look at me u think u see who i really am?
but u nvr know me
i put on the mask u love to see
but do u realize i'm weeping inside?

my life is a stage
and im the lead
as time goes by
i could not distinguish btn myself and the one i'm acting as
how successful an actress i am!

first of all, the malay words arent supposed to be understood, thanks to my deteriorating malay standard. anyway, it is to prevent SOMEppl from reading that, that is, if they ever end up here. so u guys out there, dun worry. itz never abt u guys.
***
and i left my sigg water bottle in LT2! how could i do that! now i miss my bottle. that is the only thing 413 left for me. the only thing that i can hold.

since pae everyone is so dispersed. maybe if u r lucky u still end up in the same skul as ur frens. but everyone is having a new life, going on a new journey, with almost no time to look back, and turn back. and after jae, i had to even say goodbye to jamie. haish. so i have almost no 413 here wif me. nobody to remind me of the happy moments, except the bottle. thanks u guys who rmb my bdae last year!

i'm now thinking of whether to go for that stupid impromptu econs make up lec. i nvr brg anything for it la! and the teacher just announced the lec to be on today. madness. like i got do anything. so now in the hub using com.. lazy to go anywhere.

hmm, maybe i should just skip the boring talks on elasticity and demand and supply and bla bla bla and go orchard! eh dont get me wrong, i go orchard wif the intention to collect my contacts k.. not to go shopping... but maybe i should just take a STROLL in taka. lols.

i think i have to blog in malay. since this stupid blog doesnt read chinese. boo.
***
mereka sudah pulang. bagus dah menang emas. tapi saya tak boleh nak maraikan sama mereka la. kenapa? thanks to ku sekarang bukan victorian la!
ku rasa anguish sangat. bleah. kenapa ku dapat 9!!! bleah.

bantu sze sze pindah ke vh. and all the memories resurface.
boo.

finally can reach this page! ahhh~~~~~ haha! credits to stella for letting me use her com... thanks stellaa..
i'm in vh now, supposed to do my PI but haiya, who can resist the temptation of the internet? to me specifically blogging.. hehex. anyway i guess i'd have to write my PI and not type it out since i dun have a laptop and uncle doesnt have printer :( anyways itz still fine:)
***
M U S I C F E S T
terrific man! i din realize how lucky i was till i was in the audi! oh man! so many ppl couldnt get the tix even tho they balloted la! and i din even go for balloting man, and i got the tix! and itz at itz ori price! credits to yongyi and.. unfortunately her sc fren named pk. someone stole (i HAVE to use this uncivillised word bcoz the person who did it was obviously severely uncivillised, thank you) hers from her file u noe! wad a display of tjcian reputation man)

rushed back to dunman to get my stuff b4 rushing back to vj by 6. heard from odball that the pt wld be closed at 7. lucky me again coz 196 supposedly a slow bus, just arrived when i reached the bus stop. phew. and so i stepped into vj, wif 3 vj sc nominees standing in front of the skul gate shouting "welcome to vjc" and music fest. haha. i feel the vibrancy of the skul again. such feeling seemed to have disappeared for long. yep, u can never find that in tj. huh. nvm. then i was like in tj skul u among the victorians in their uni! luckily i located oddball and she brought me in.

one of the judges - shan wee, was so so so so so CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!
or izit bcoz tj no cute guys that almost all the victorians look good?
but undeniable, shan wee IS cute.
i like the vocalists! oh man esp the duet by kah hei and joel. joel's voice really made my hair stand. superb voice, despite the prob wif his mike at the earlier part of his solo. i want to sing that song wif my bf!!! haha. goodness. boycrazy again. but i have to agree that the music fest was of quite remarkable standard.

dance was awesome. blaze didnt disappoint me at all. risque was good. yay.

intermission - i saw so many invigours! then weixin told me that most of the invigours came, and they sat at the upper gallery. eh, why nvr tell me one? but nvm, i still sit wif oddball:)
haish, wad a reunion man. so long time since i last saw them. feel like home when i went back la. itz like meeting ur family members u noe. lols.

imran was the emcee. lols. he's really funny. the music fest ended wif the victorian's anthem. ha. i saw ppl in other skuls uni oso. but everyone sang will heart and voice. ok maybe only those who left. but we din really leave as well, for we will always be there, for the victorian's spirit will be carried to the world.
what am i saying!
***
oh and thanks to stella, i knew that vjcsb won gold for hawaii! congrats! i wish i could be part of it now...
things are just like that. what more can i say?

MissyIvy
A Cynic with passion for
the Art of Sarcasm
Chemist in training

Do Better Nails
World Peace
AIDS Free
most importantly,
Finish Everything ON TIME! and
try not to be late

Why Clairebear Joyce ShuM Ziewearn Dan Kylie Eug

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

November 2008

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 2010

July 2010

September 2010

October 2010

November 2010

December 2010

January 2011

February 2011

March 2011

June 2011

July 2011

This layout is proudly made by hopmad. Images are from tumblr and flickr. Hopmad did the collage of the images with the help from GIMP and she got the textures from swimchick.