Thursday, March 30, 2006 19:59
i want a laptop i want a laptop i want a laptop i want a laptop i want a laptop i want a laptop
ok that's it.
i want a laptop.
this is crazy. i confess. but i dun want it anymore. itz not good to keep playing the guessing game, and then in the end, no one wins. i dun like. i like to win. win. win. win all the way. but he is in control of it. grrr. ok i shall stop thinking of unnecessary stuff.
***
i want to go vj music fest! itz gonna be reunion time again. i heard some of the s35 going as well. i wanna be there! but sad case yongyi lost her tix! who in the world is so evil to do that! steal a tix from ppl's file! so uncivillised! i despise the peson! triple loser man! so if she is not going then it doesnt make sense for me to go alone. angelina's tix not confirmed yet, thanks to someone who nvr reply my msg. roar. why like that. why everytime i see hope, they still have to trash everything.
the same goes to him. oh no stop it ivy.
i hear the shan hu hai from jay chou. which reminds me of SOMEbody. haish. maybe itz really like the lyrics. wells.
went to tm wif weifen, shuzhen, jiale, hengpei, lingting and karen to kill time b4 our chem make up lec. jiale was supposed to look for her swimsuit but apparently it was a failed attempt. all of them were either too ex, or jiale doesnt wanna wear. huh. then when we were on 38, some malay guys(not being racist here) were so idiotic that they dun believe we are jc students. wad de? then they said so loud, as if we dun understand liddat. sorree guys, but u have a malaysian here, i understand man.
then we started playing all the logic games again. the mrt and the fuzzy wazzy man. aiyo. then the wadever light one. reminds me of invigours and s35. not to mention, the malaysians in vh.
and luckily we came back early. coz it was pouring aft we sat down in canteen. wow.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006 16:04
angelina and oddball did a face recognition test for me. and the shocking results - i look like boa(huh?) ayumi hamasaki (whoa...) kaite leung (err.. i hope so. then i'd be harry's crush haha)
which i think itz totally funny.
even funnier when the results for kpk are all famale celebs!! oops, i'm not suggesting anything...
oh please, i think other than sophie, no one else will think zq look like nicholas tse huahaha.. and eric and ray look like takashi kaneshiro?? oh man, what would his fans do man..
u guys out there should try it out.
***
i just realized titus is a malaysian too:) hmm, the world is so small la. but he is so fortunate, his whole family moved here wif him. haish. when i have to sit in the bus for 8hrs to reach my home. boo. and my hostel iznt anywhere near my skul. bleah.
sze sze is gonna move to vhall! lucky her! get to stay in such a nice and comfy environment! wif all the malaysians there and have such fun! i jealous ald haha...
i realize i'm so prone to waking up late u noe. even the loudest alarm doesnt work anymore, coz all in my mind is abt sleeping abit more. abit and abit, and i'll never wake up on time. so i was joking abt wearing specs ytday so that i wont nid to wear that ugly bright yellow safety goggles for chem prac haha. but hey, wed is tie day eh. so tut ald still wear specs? itz so not me! look so nerd! but today no choice haha. woke up so late that i couldnt even have the time to put on the contacts lols.
plus, eyes not that big just aft i woke up. *winks*
i love wearing contacts!!
random.
Monday, March 27, 2006 13:45
so so so so so so sorreeeeee angelina! sth must be wrong wif me and my brain that day when i blogged abt the jurong point. ok everyone!! listen up! this is important. ammendment to the post dated saturday 25march.
ANGELINA WENT TO JURONG PT.
so the ppl who went walking ard wif me were: angelina, miss breau, yingxian, wenjia and eric.
***
now i'm in tj lib using this super lousy comp (compared to those in the hub la) and blog. haish. my day started wif running. i woke up late so i ran to toilet which is unfortunately not in my room. then stoned in front of the mirror sommore so gotta run down to canteen. then missed 12 for the first time coz it came rather early today. or izit i'm late? anyway since 196 was behind yongyi and i ran over the overhead bridge and boarded the bus. luckily. if not, cab ald. phew. really miss the times we just took leisure stroll to skul la!!
having cramps today, so pmsy. but i dun feel highly irritable haha.
anyway keli told me sth funny. her recount on her horrible adventure in anglican house. guys toilet. she din know that was the guys toilet (coz no sign outside the door, they assume itz well understood) so she went to bathe there. then she conveniently hanged her ahem, lingerie over the bathroom door. so some guys went in, i presume they were damn shocked to see bras in their toilet, and went out to seek help from the gals. so some girls came into the toilet and asked them where they were from.
haha, what a joke.
and i dont think he li's eye candy is handsome! ok maybe to her. obviously he din electrocute me so i dun like him liddat. go he li, i wont be ur rival lols.
there's still no eye candy in tj!!!!!!
i misss my eye candy!!!! where is he nowwwww!!!!!
Sunday, March 26, 2006 11:20
oh, the banders flew for hawaii competition ald. ok, itz slow for me to type this only now.
good luck u peeps!
i had a rather... puzzling dream. i dreamt of 3J4. not everybody, but most i think. what scared me was that all of them were wearing vj skul u!!! what!! kahseng, chauyee, cheekeong, evon, jiaher, peakwei are among those whom i dreamt of. i remember there were alot of ppl there, but now i cant name all. so basically the 3J4 ppl were at the bus stop when i was there. i was so surprised(both in my dream and in reality) so see them there.
that was the end of my stupid dream which was super unrealistic.
either i miss s35 or 3J4 so much.
either i miss vj or poilam so much.
which one do i miss more?
i realize this entire post is so random that itz not even worth reading. why m i blogging this then?
random.
Saturday, March 25, 2006 21:46
before i went to sleep last night i debated wif myself whether to go ntu this morn or not. i was so extremely tired aft the inter hostel games last night. but angelina told me that s35 is going. so i decided to leave all to fate. see if i can wake up in time.
and i woke up at eight. amazing.
after thorough wash up i changed into my uni and set off, to find myself totally at loss at how to go to ntu, let alone to find school of biological sciences, classroom 1. haha, but i thought of cheechin! smart ivy! so he asked me to alight at lee wei nam lib, and he led me to sbs. thanks so so much yea! i'm sorry for ur break up... hush hush, not suppsoed to tell anybody...
and i met the victorians! miss them so much. haha, thanks for missing me ard yeah... all the scandals whatsoever.. and thanks for finding eric a new scandal - wenjia. so happy to see them again! lols, and eric has got this funny habit of taking pics of others secretly! so scary!! so sad happy moments dont last, and everyone had to go home. only eric, oddball, miss breau wenjia and me went to jurong point for err... walking.
one thing worth mentioning - itz funny seeing eric doze off in the train. u should try and see how long u can hold ur giggles.
pastamania wif the poilamers. happy bdae hoekit. catch up wif each other for quite some time. so much things happened. so much to talk abt.
oh, and as i was walking back to taka i saw zhen yi (i'm not sure whether this is the correct spelling anot) i couldnt recognize him at first. then he was staring at me. and smiling, which puzzled me. then i remembered, and said hi. phew! if not ppl think i'm such an arrogant person.
i'm dead beat. so tired. my hand muscles are aching. still gotta go for eye check tmr.
lazy argh!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 23, 2006 14:06
i saw the most shocking thing today. it threw me off my feet instantaneously. i was completely awed, surprised, shocked, horrified and i could do nothing but to root on the ground and open my eyes and mouth wide.
now i say i look fine. i shall never complain i'm skinny, boney or wadever. and if u say i'm super skinny, u havent seen.
i have, and i saw my nightmare. in tj. aft bio lec. in LT1.
proceed with caution. the prose below may contain disturbing facts to the young and pure minds.
as i was walking out of LT2 wif the rest, my eyes rested on this.. erm.. teacher, who is obviously very 'outstanding' among the crowd. oh actually she was just in front of me. what was so special? her ability to stay alive. i'm not joking. picture this: u see a stick (literally) walking in front of u.
her shoulder bones were shown beneath her thin mango shirt. u can see her entire frame. her elbows were so pointed that i wondered if they can kill. as she walked her right arm was swinging gently generating the momentum. but this iznt the point. the soft bone just beneath her wrist seemed to be fighting itz way out of her skin! her collarbone protruded so much out of her that u can put glass marble balls on it. i'm serious. do i look like i'm joking? her back iznt any better. i could see her backbone. just how many ppl's backbone can show if u are not REALLY skinny? and the two bones were simply jutting out to much. i think it hurts if anyone just accidentally bang onto them. i pity the one who banged into her. and her knees! though she was wearing this loose fitting long pants, i could see her knees when she walked! they seem so angular, that i think if u desperately need a set sq and u dun have it, ask her to measure for u by bending her knees.
i amazed at how she can still be alive.
hurh! let me breathe fresh air. i think i'm fainting soon.
i am not going to let myself lose weight anymore. no more. i dont want to look like that. no. i'll eat and eat till i'm 45kg.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006 17:17
i'm here again. hey oddball, ivy does not equal to scandalous k, coz now i'm still scandal-less in tj. huahax. and all my scandals in vj were like anyhow-cook-up one! credits to u all out there who anyhow pair me up wif anyone i talk to. ha. and i'm SURE s35 wont be scandal-less one la.. so must update me on every scandal that pop up k?
i'm a cca-less soul in tj! wandering abt without a cca is really torturing, esp for ppl like me who cant sit still (except sleeping of coz, and i do it all the time *winks*) i think later there'll be this dance prac in the visitors' lounge for asean night.. omg cant wait! every hostel is to come up wif at least one item for the night, and guess what? the asean tj scholars are doing RETARDED!! i love that one. but just like all the victorian mass dances, i cant rmb the sequences! so more and more pracs needed...
but somehow, participating in this performance is another way for me to express my urge to do mass dances. actually deep down inside the one i want to do most is of coz the victorians'. sorry whoever tjcian who is reading this. i'm committing, and yet i'm not. but sshhh... i shall let nobody know this. shall act enthu. actually dunnid to act, coz i'm really enthu inside, just to different target.
dancing has become an alternative way for me to stay happy. erm, sorry for the lack of vocab here. i feel like joining tj dance, but i heard they are of quite high standard, and joining it means i may only have one cca. ee. i dun wanna commit hundred percent to only one cca. after posting i realize itz important for us to be able to do things that we like. coz u wont know whether u'll still have the chance to do it ever again. that is one important lesson i learnt, thanks to moe. i dont want to be restricted by stupid necessity to commit because u need to. i want to commit because i love to, and i very much want to. when i still have time to.
so i'm still wandering abt cca-less, and pear (dunno whether itz the right spelling) asked me to join taekwondo! my goodness u girl! me? and kaigai asked me to go for squash tryout on fri.. or izit thurs? but i feel like going for volleyball tryout and tennis... surprised? ha.
i start liking my skul u ald. no, actually i dun really like, but i dun mind. but i like my skirt, just pray hard that the DM is fine wif my skirt, which is currently more than one palm from my knees! *winks* oh and one more thing, though tj tie is not as nice as the victorians', i like wearing tie on wednesdays:) makes all of us look so much more matured and smart! and i can finally do my own tie yay!
one last thing, the weather is really playing tricks on us these days. ytday we planned to go bedok int for lunch after econs tutorial, but it was raining, so we were stranded in skul canteen wif chicken rice. today titus passed msg to the whole class abt the class lunch, but we stepped out of the classroom, just to find that itz raining again! rawr... and when we finally found enough tables in the canteen to accommodate our entire class and bought food and sat down prepare to eat, the rain stopped. WHAT DE??!! the sky is obviously against us la!
i hope there's no swimming this friday...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006 16:27
now i'm back again. this place cannot display chinese.. but i dun wanna change blogskin coz i really like this one. it suits me the most.
secret wish... just the right word.
i have a wish. but i cant verbally tell anyone. human relation is too extensive and complicated. i dun want to go overboard, and in the end bring complete destruction to the bridge that was just formed between us.
i just came to realization, but then itz all too late. blame it on the posting and my stupidity.
it should be apparent to me. somehow now that therez no one else to tease me, i should be happy. but i feel sth lacking. something that had somehow been a daily routine after those days together.
certain things he did were quite suggestive, but yet it may not mean it at all. i pasted the card he and the rest did for me as a leaving gift on the wall, next to my bed. and i can always see the msgs written for me, and feel lighter, esp his. there are times when he called me bimbo, but i din mind. sometimes when i was alone in the night wif nothing but silence as my company, itz really heartwarming to see ur fone vibrate, and when u pick up, itz him calling. the sight of his fone number was like a charm that chases away all the boredom. though the conversations were quite crappy they were enjoyable.
somehow now in dunman when the night is cold and insects are humming, i take furtive glances at my fone, one side of me hoping to see it vibrate wif his number, but the other side of me asking me to forget it. truly enough, my fone din vibrate whatsoever up til today.
sighz.
until this realization fades away, i'll take furtive glances at my fone everynight. frankly speaking, i dont think my secret wish is gonna come true. coz if it were to, it would have come true ald.
16:10
this place is hot. ok no flattering, so this place is WARM. air con spoilt, haiyo.
and i couldnt post the last post, dunno why.
***
now that i have to take at least 30mins bus to skul everyday, i'd better wake up early-ier. so that my eyes have sufficient time to open up for the contacts to fit in, and not having to force it open. alright, cheers to single eyelid, small eyes. but that means i'd have to turn in early-ier too... not sure whether i can do that tho.
and ppl ard me keep commenting on my eyes growing bigger! itz a happy fact, at least to me, but har? my eyes have always been of such size...
***
Friday, March 17, 2006 11:29
guess where i'm at now? the com lab in dhsh! now i think dhsh iznt bad at all la.. except the fact that toilet and mirror are outside my door. but nvm, i have a face mirror on my table and i can stare and stare at my preety face whenever possible.
so narcicisst!
that's me.
actually i was just here to change my password, but seems like i cant resist the temptation of blogging... itz 1130 now.. and i'm supposed to go bugis temple wif yongyi aft lunch.. and i havent bathed, havent put on my contacts.. havent done anythign to my face!!
argh i'm gonna be late. as usual hee..
***
met likoon ytday. a person can really change alot. i couldnt recog her in bugis. her new specs are damn funky! except the fact that itz white... which made her face look exceptionally.. blown up.
and the stories she shared regarding the bunch of them there were so "interesting". hmm.. i wish aft the temple visit i'm able to tell another story.
i dun care if the ans i get is anything disappointing. at least any ans will remove the distraction and i can be myself again! and not having thots that continuously pestering me like a bee.
good.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006 10:45
i hear the horns! and trumpets! and bones! but i just dont hear the euphos! whyyy???? hearing them prac new world symphony reminded me of the days i spend in nycb and vjcsb... how reminiscent, how bittersweet... ah.. how memorable.
syf, we complained. on that day, we cried. aft arts fest, itz really when we felt that itz over. and wished time could u-turn, and go back to syf again.
perhaps itz just too much memories. perhaps itz too bittersweet. perhaps, i should just forget.
and forget means put band behind. means dun go back. maybe.
but no one can just dump everything behind just like that. u cant act as though nothing happened. u just cant. no matter how much u wanna forget, u still rmb. just like wad xiruo said, everything that happened in vj was like a dream to her. to me as well. itz only in a dream that i can enjoy so much. feel so happy. shed so much tears. go through emotional rollercoaster. perhaps it IS a dream, that's why i'm back to reality. i'm back to my old life. i thought i could start anew in vj, but yes, dreams will end. and mine has ended. so open ur eyes, and all u see is...
N O W
***
forgive me for not able to put things down.
fang bu xia, zhi yin tai mei li. mei li de chuan shuo yong yuan zhi shi ge chuan shuo. dan que suo zhu bu shao ren de xin. ni zen jiao ya men ba ta wang que?
Friday, March 10, 2006 18:56
itz ok to be in tj anyway.
i cant pretend nth happened when i feel so uneasy inside. but who can i tell? maybe ricky is right. i'm just too childish for my age. time will be the best solvent. it dissolves virtually every feeling. i hope it dissolves this one asap, coz itz really not nice living wif grudges.
poof, class lunch not that bad though, though i'm not part of the class anymore.
what can i do?
Thursday, March 09, 2006 19:13
i'm here again. angelina told me sth, that really makes sense. but itz ok.
*****
linlin moved here ald. but sadly i would have to move again. so we cannot be roomates ald. and yajie is in aj. so dispersed.
i cant stand ppl wearing socks (mind you, not ankle socks) and slippers or sandals at the same time. it looks awful.
that was random.
i cut my hair today!!
with lubin in roxy square. somehow i like cutting hair when i'm in bad mood. i should have done so since the release of jae posting and i would be a far happier person for the past few days. may all the problems be like the hair, and shwoosh! cut them away. then ur head feels lighter, as well as your heart.
i like my new hairstyle! though itz still the same type, but they all said my hair became straighter. AND i did NOT put any straightening cream whatsoever on it to make it straight ok. so stop the nonsense leekee and jinee. my hair is NATURALLY straight. ha.
i feel like smiling and smiling now :) :) :) :) :)
i miss my band angel... xiao quan!!!! and alvin!!!!
16:54
thanks to my darling pretty roomate who enlightened me to pon skul today, i really pon skul.
actually, u wont believe but itz true, i woke up super late. so go tj oso no use right? then i fell back to sleep. till noon.
pon skul is so NICE!! *looking ard furtively* i hope there iznt any DM ard...
i'm gonna miss my eye candy!
that was random.
and he li said i m so much like a victorian!! *smilez*
i've walked out of the shadow. though i'm not in vj anymore, i'm still a victorian. that's enuff. i was a victorian, i m still a victorian, and i will continue being a victorian.
that makes tj life sound better.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006 19:49
sharon got 9 and she ended up in s35. wadever man. i dun understand. what do i lack other than another a1? and i sit right on the cut off and they just wouldnt let me continue my happy life.
i m so taken aback. very. how can such unfair stuff ever be true. i stayed for 1st two months and i put in effort. i committed. i contributed. iznt that enuff?
my place is taken. soon enuff, ppl will be so tied down wif their stuff. maybe s35 will end up like 413. but i really dun hope so.
i love s35 and 3J4 the most.
i dun want to lose u all.
never.
and invigours also.
Monday, March 06, 2006 18:13
heart as cold as ice. when i was standing near the table facing out to vs, i felt so so insignificant. vs seemed so unpopulated that time, but yet i heard trombone. itz a very discouraging moment, but i stood there like that for half an hour ald.
why am i always discouraged anyway? when i really put in effort in sth, they have to take it from me. am i really that not worth the prize? my wish?
i've tried and tried. i've coaxed myself that itz the same. but i isnt at all. say i'm pessimistic or wadever. i dun care. i just want my one wish for the time being, but who can grant it?
itz like, weeks ago i dreaded band, and yet i still work for it coz itz for the sake of my passion. i told them the passion has died, but no, it hadnt at that time. i was just confused. but i know, if appeal result is disappointing, itz gonna kill that one passion i have had since sec 3.
euphonium, such a nice name. itz not so dreadful after all.
angelina was crying when i saw her today. which evoked so much emotions in me that time. miraculously, i didnt even shed a tear. so why when i was staring at vs without ppl, tears kept gushing down like nobody's business?
i want, but i dont get it. i hope for it, but they dont give me.
not like i get lousy results. all a's, and i sit on the cut off.
perhaps, second intake is just that horriendous.
i think i just made a spelling mistake.
Friday, March 03, 2006 14:02
jae is out. dont ask me what the result is. coz we've expected.
i din feel anything unusual when i saw it. it was just like, ok, i've got to run up and down le. and great, i'm gonna go to a place i least wanna go, apart from jurong. no offence jjc ppl, but too bad i own my mouth.
and running up and down iznt anything good. thanks for reminding me of how slim if not zero my chances of staying in vj is. it was the most freezing comment i've gotten so far.
ivy is a creeper. it can always stretch up for sunlight. the more pressure u apply to it, the more you obstruct it's growth, the more it will bend and find another way. u think wet blanket will stunt itz growth? u havent seen.
here i would like to thank shun yuan, for keepin me company. thanks, it meant alot.
and suddenly i feel so attached to s35. itz really a pain to leave.
and it was painful to see ricky's msg too. but thanks, at least i managed to lose a drop of tear reading ur msg. to think i'm gonna leave the frens in vh. to think that i actually may miss them.
shut ur face. talk to my hand. will i ever say that again?
