Monday, November 28, 2005 22:24
edison called just now. haha, itz fun talking like i did again. somehow the way i talk is diff when i ans sg calls. i revert back to my usual self again. does it make sense?
***
xtin and i decided to be a little bimbotic and put nail colour on our nails the night before we went home. then i opened the nail enamel i bought from red earth. it was kind of pastel pink, not loud, and shimmery. xtin said the first layer wasnt obvious, which was good to her, but not to me. so i applied 2 layers on each nail. because we talked so much every time we finished one nail, we got so tired after colouring five nails. so we decided to go home with only one hand coloured. ha. anyway i concluded that my left fingers are better-shaped than my right. itz more obvious esp after i coloured my right fingers just now.
***
just remembered sth funny in the aftnoon. sis n i went walking to the shops near our house in view of getting myself a new phone line. it was unsuccesful, of cox, if not i'll be msging non stop, like what i did in sg. anyway, i saw this digi promo which i thought was quite cheap, and so i went to that shop to find out more. i was so used to making enquiries in english, so i sort of blurted out in eng instead of canto, which is supposed to be the common lang here. then this guy just stared at me blankly for a short moment, and then smiled stupidly. for a moment i thought he is cute. *wink* i guess his friend thought he could not handle my question in such alien language, that he came over to ans me. then i think he thought that i'm some foreigner or ang mor educated chinese who doesnt know canto, so he tried to ans me eng. well, he tried, and tried, but gave up eventually. i realized the prob originated from me talking in eng, so i started talkin in canto again. wow u should see the relief in their eyes, man. but the first guy whom i asked still behaved stupidly, or was it just my imagination? i still didnt get the number, guess i'm gonna try my luck tomorrow.
anyway, i still think those two guys were cute. they cant be much older than me. maybe just working during their hols. must be.
***
and xinying! cant believe you've found your way here! hi! yes, i'm gonna eat hor fun maybe tomorrow or the day after. yum! itz gonna be nice! wheee!! itz good to be home!
15:03
wowee!! home again!! but the journey was ahem.. abit noisy with two kids behind me. u can imagine the level of noise pollution when both refused to sleep. not even a nap. grr. anyway i was about to *haha* out loud when the driver who was trying very hard to sleep at the back sprang up and "hoi!" at them. alright, i'm just being nasty. actually i "sshhh" them, apparently it didnt help at all.
there was this tour guide next to me, in the single seat. so nice of her to offer me marshmallow!! from USA she said. she din know marshmallows can be bbq!! haha, guess i just 'enlightened' her abit. speaking of bbq, i miss that chocolate banana and cheesy crab stick! goodness feel so hungry now.
yay, good thing that i'm at home. bad thing that i havent gotten myself a fone line. so i'm virtually inaccessible. actually therez still a primitive mtd. that is on9. but i like sms-ing.
my sis said i looked retarded. no, maybe too engrossed in blogging. nvm, stupidity is in everybody, whether u notice it anot. and then, mental retardation is actually happening. cool.
and one fish died. sadd. must have eaten too much. i was the culprit actually. i kept feeding them the last time i was here. hoohoo, and now none of the fishes want to eat what i fed. wadever man. dad changed the mouse to the optic fibre one!! haha!!! now it changes colour every... 3 seconds on the average. pretty. like me.
Thursday, November 24, 2005 20:23
if i'm going to do something, i'll think it over before i do it. sometimes, impulse and instincts are just what they are. you need brain-processing before you can make a wise choice.
but we need to make choices almost 24/7. i chose to blog. before that, i had to choose what jc i m going. prior to that, i had to choose what clothes i've got to wear aft i bathe. and way before that, god knows what i chose.
if you need to really think and think and contemplate for every single thing you do every day, you are gonna have your head double and maybe triple the size of yours now.
it is true that you dont need to contemplate for every little thing you do.
however, you've got to think twice at certain times.
what for embarking on a journey when you know for sure you are gonna turn back to the starting point very soon? why do that on impulse? maybe not impulsive act, but in the end, you jolly know for sure you are going to start over again. then why do it?
***
enough of that.
i got cramps on the first day of chalet. but in the end i still felt my way there. pro me. ha, and not forgetting xinyi and rach who gave me directions to that place. thanks kaishi though i didnt take shuttle. anyway, i learnt how to cycle on the first night. kaishi, bella and xinying! all of you were great tutors man! thanks to you guys i could cycle ald! haha... but that gave me muscle aches in the legs and the arms.
and i missed my 20-sit-ups-every-nite, thanks to chalet. the first time i got so horrified at my fats was in giordano, when i tried on this top. wa it really showed every single piece of fat found around my tummy and waist. it was so ugly!! i dont want it! the same thing happened to my dear roomate. ha, so we promised each other to do 20 sit ups every night before sleeping, hoping to minimize the sufferings at seeing those unforgivable fats. and so i broke my promise. i din do a single sit up when i was in chalet. but i dun even need to feel guilty, cox i know for sure xtin wont remember doing that too!
so i shall do 40 sit ups tonight.
Monday, November 21, 2005 19:15
this is a continuation of my list of dedications yesterday. here it goes:
J - ha! u always nvr update ur blog! so stagnant ald! anyway out of point. u were the first who taught me the poss excuses to skip band haha! and that is damn useful man! like what i said in the so called card i gave u b4 o's, u are really a wonderful friend one can ever have. go girl, u'll make really lotz out of it. hope you'll still recognize me 10 years later!!
R - you!! always gossip with me! well itz a good form of entertainment though haha! have more faith in urself, cox u are capable of pushing ur boundries beyond. loads of luck for u!
***
i've got some allergy i guess. clinic was closed when i went. stupid. i hope it'll be fine tmr, if not i'm gonna say goodbye to the barbecue!! no!!! and my fingers (except the thumbs) on both hands are swollen! itz 1.5x the size they were last nite! goodness gracious what happened??!!
i watched harry potter ald. first comment - hermoine is PRETTY. superficial, i am. and then, ron become so.. not ugly, no so bad, but more awful though. neville is still a nerd, but not 'chubby" according to the book. cedric, ok la, still able to match the description in the book. viktor krum looks better in the movie than in the posters! cho, perhaps they just cant find a prettier gal. as for fleur, she matches the book description. and i still dont like this new dumbledore. he lost the dumbledore's majesty as described in the book.
i like this new director although he changed many parts of the book. for instance, harry was supposed to run with ron in the world cup, and not faint as in the movie. and his wand was supposed to be stolen. well, they nvr mention abt his wand prob bcox winky didnt exist in the show. and, fudge was supposed to bring in dementors aft crouch jr was caught, but this didnt happen in the movie.
however, the effects of magic done by the film-making crew were up to expectations. for example, harry's second and third tasks. the merpeople were almost as how i imagined. and the maze looked real too. and the biggest plus point, the process of resurrecton of Voldermort. it just reminds us of witchcraft and no less. everything in that few shots brought out the basic theme of the story. 'wicked', according to fred and george.
i love weasley twins to the core! oh man they rock haha!
Saturday, November 19, 2005 19:51
EXAMS ARE OVER!!! OFFICIALLY OVER!!!
i dont think i need to announce a public fact. btw, i was SO deprived of comp for the past...5 days. wanted to blog on mon, forgot. tues, wanted to watch trick3 last epi. wed? got dang-ou. thurs?? cant blog cox i went on a "miniature" shopping spree. cool huh? everyone kept reminding me that i've still got chem the next day, even i had been telling myself the same thing everytime i stepped into another shop in taka. but still din help. i spent like.. near fifty within 3 hrs. i sincerely hope my chem will make miracles. this blog is gonna be long.
let's start with a recount. boring? then you can skip this part, if you are reading. linlin kept saying she'll die for c lit (like real?) but haha! B2-20 managed to live on aft pure humans!! i spotted the correct ones, and i hope that will help my dying c lit. i need this sub. amaths was.. i'm not sure whether i'll get my a1. seriously. i found p1 easier, but i've ald lost more than 10 mrks for that pp. p2? geng bu yong shuo le. elec geog was surprisingly manageable, given the fact that i mugged agriculture, but did industries instead. i used electronics industry in karnataka, dunno whether this is an acceptable example anot. and human dev was q alright. the bad thing was that i couldnt get 4 extra measures for human dev apart from the 4 given.. so the last one was actually impromptu. dunno whether itz valid anot. and chem!!! wad the hell!! organic chem wasnt out for the choice question!! what a lousy paper. that's the only section where i can score.
anyway, itz all over.
to think that the next two years of our lives is based on ONE cert, and all our effort in two years is shortened to only 9 grades. and these 9 grades are supposed to reflect our abilities and strengths.
sounds horrible, but that's true.
i thot i saw mrs chek on bus on thurs. shocked me so much. but it wasnt her.
***
i think i'm getting sentimental again. i was reminded of the graduating days i had in poilam. a pity that this class is clique-oriented, that i dont get to know every one well. i mean, not that 3J4 is not seggregated, but there was more sense of belonging and identity. anyway, itz saddening to acknowledge the fact that i dont belong to poilam anymore, cox i'm now graduating from nanyang. no matter how much i say i want to leave ny asap, now i'm having second thot abt this. no, i still want to leave ny asap, but i guess deep in me, i will miss some ppl here. yeah i would.
and here is what i want to say to you guys (you'll only understand if that one is you)
Y- cant believe i leak so much of my previous life to you. so you better keep them secret, or else i'm gonna spit yours out too haha. jk. yeah, thx for always calling when everybody is like busy mugging or rushing hw. thx to you and ur msgs, i miss my date with uncle chou. i know he sees you more than me. i'm not jealous of that. but i guess aft this, i wont get calls from u at 11pm rite? so maybe i'm gonna miss that. wadever it is, be confident in urself, cox you can do it! never doubt it, cox itz always in you.
M - thanks for that letter yesterday. glad that you dont think i'm bian tai. i do observe others though.. yeah, itz kind of a pity that we cant get to know each other more, but i treasure what we have now. ur letter really make my day, man. talking to you is nice, n haha, how can i forget that embarrassing moment in the rain?? it was really amusing, and i'll always remember that i walked in the rain with you that day.
S - i really like your name. really. and thx for saying that my chinese handwriting is pretty. i'm glad we share the same sentiments abt alot of things. you've proved urself to be very understanding, that makes you stand out of the crowd. again, your chinese name is very poetic, so you must love ur name ok? chinese names really make wonders on ppl.
shit. i have to go. itz like freezing here. tonite is gonna be exciting. wowee!! i hope i wont experience h**g**e*. haha.. go figure urself. i believe i can hold a fairly large amt of it la.
Saturday, November 12, 2005 21:03
can anyone relieve the pain of eating all the c lit books?? this is agonizing haiyo~~
come to think of it, i'm quite worried though. what if i get the same result as what i got for prelims? or worse, even worse than my prelims? i rmb the tchr said that we have to at least get above 85 to secure our a1s.. ee.. 85 is like a sth i've never got for c lit before!! and i need that A in c lit to fulfil my humans area, knowing that my combined will never produce anything above a b4 at most.
***
i just got to know cc has got a gf!! haha they look quite good together.
pl alumni website is dying. cant blame them, everyone is busy, esp those goh goh currently in nus and ntu, second year some more.
steamboat is coming!! hahah i can then eat and eat and eat until i get bloated! just like the one aft prelims in seoul gdn. and then class chalet. though like i think a few not going, i hope it'll be memorable.
anyway, i guess this is enough. i realize i'm here almost everyday. see if i can resist the temptation tomorrow. and i'm gonna miss a date with vampire tomorrow! i watched last sunday because math d paper 1 and ss were on the next day. i guess that's why i made such a mistake in cumulative freq. my brain was dead then. i don't want this to happen on my c lit day again. no no no. maybe i'll just go back and rent the discs. ah, then i'll be able to watch the ori version which is in cantonese, and save the pain of bearing with the almost-disgusting translation, just to know the plot. i don't want sheng mu to war with ren wang... and i hope ma xiaoling and jian tou get together hehe...
stop it. i'm going back to my room and not coming out anymore. and marry my c lit books. that's right.
Friday, November 11, 2005 20:21
finally, i've at least found it. the feeling of satisfaction during exam. i always had this feel during major exams, though i didnt during prelims. perhaps itz a sign that i wont do as well as i expected, and true indeed for prelims. hmm, i hope this will help my maths this time. this is NOT funny if i cant get A for maths d. not funny at all. all i hope is that my brain wasnt oblivious of any careless mistakes, and paper two can compensate for the carelessness in paper one.
and so i hope.
the biggest hurdle is yet to come. but i know, itz gonna be swift and fast. passed even without me noticing it.
come to think of it, itz fast.
dont you think so? i do.
and itz still pretty amazing that we share common mitochondria. hmm, that at least, makes us common.
***
i want to go back asap, but i dont want either. life is always contradictory, or at least MINE is. no idea why, but i always contradict myself. maybe because i think too much into it. or izit effect of SS that i have to present two sides of argument, and now wadever i do, i think in that way too.
and no matter how much you think you dislike something, it still does you good in the end. you learn something still. just like c lit for me (hoi all the c litters!!) i was told to look deeper into the meaning of the poems or any piece of literature. i hated that. i hated mugging for c lit test. that made me feel like a nerd. i dont like to be one, and i am not one.
one stereotypical idea among us is that when you see someone scoring better than you, you'll automatically assume that that person mugged very hard. itz true that you cant get good grades without studying, no one can in fact. and so please dont assume that i mug supercalifragerlisticespialidocious-ly hard in secret. i'm not such person. but dont keep repeating to me the fact that so and so do all sorts of things irrelevant to exams and did not study at all. please, i wont buy your story. you are just enforcing the fact that you are a creature of high level of intelligence. that's all.
anyway, i sidetracked. i was saying abt c lit. now i always read between the lines, i'm not so naive anymore. i tend to identify the purpose and the theme of anything, be it someone talking, drama series and even song lyrics at times. hmm, i think i m quite bo liao, as according to yao xinyi. maybe.
and the thot of xinyi reminded of chem in chinese. i miss the times when we had to remember the translations for scientific terms, historical terms and geog terms in preparation for uec. actually, uec was like after pmr, so no one actually bothered to study for it, for everyone expected some funny grades in the end, because we were not taught the syllabus at all! so we just somehow transferred the knowledge we acquired over the years if any, and translated it into chinese terms onto the test paper. i think i threw away that piece of paper containing all the terminology in chinese for all the elements, chemical reactions and naming of compounds. and for bio some stupid weird terms too. i regret not keeping it properly.
in short, i just like the world in chinese more. wang laoshi, if you see this, be happy as a chinese teacher.
dotz..
oh ya!! read in laoshi's blog.. that we'll get two more points for higher chinese!! cox the word 'xiao tiao' is from one of the cancelled chapters!! what a news to me! actually it doesnt do me any good, because i didnt even realize the word was cancelled, and treated it as the usual chinese paper that i always did back there. nobody study chinese for god's sake. but not for here. you are just pushed backwards if you dont study the pathetic eight books for 35 marks. itz stupid, as if you'll have greater command of the language if you eat all eight books. that's why i like the tests back there. anyway, i hope i wont be doing chinese anymore in jc.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 20:57
my patience is very limited. don't ever bother to try it.
curiosity kills the cat. this is a forewarning. but if you insist that you are not a cat and therefore you dont heed the warning, may the force be with you. and i mean it.
there are things in life that are not meant to be taken for granted, but everyone doesnt seem to realise this.
a calm lake doesnt mean that there wont be crocodiles, and never assume that a stripeless tiger will not bite. you never know, and by the time your pay for your wilfulness, you may go really broke.
silence. why does it mean consent? why do we always assume that there's absence of force of resistance when calculating F=ma? you know that there's resistance alright? and yet you still make silly assumptions.
i start to wonder if mr Darwin's theory of evolution is based on genetics. or is it a hint that homo sapiens nowadays, esp those in cities, behave more and more like our primitive ancestors. look around you. don't you find apes all over? those chattering noisily, those demonstrating violence etc. laughing in public, and let others think you are nutz. then i guess, evolution is about to happen again, that is, if our dear mr Darwin is correct. this time, homo sapiens are going to become more and more like their ancestors again.
if you are irritated someone who is putting more effort than you in something, YOU yourself is kiasu. that person, if is not doing so in secret, then is not kiasu at all. so don't keep telling me that so and so is irritating and kiasu and bla bla bla. please, if you dont have a mirror, look into a tub of water. look at your face. don't you look even worse than him/her?
read somewhere, that "the more we dislike a person, the more we grow to be like him". very true indeed. i guess it stems from the intolerance towards that person, and gradually you want to take revenge or something. and without you noticing, you are the replica of that person, which makes you irritating as well.
greek mythology is very interesting indeed. and full of fantasy. it is exactly a portrayal of all the faces we can find in modern world society. and who can tell me Medussa's fate exactly? there are so many versions, that i now doubt the credibility of greek myths!!
***
so lock and key is enzymes and substrates respectively.
adaptations of alveoli are
1. surrounded by many bld capillaries to increase SA for exchange of gases.
2. one cell thick to cut down dist for diffusion and increase efficiency in diffusion.
3. thin film of moisture to dissolve gases to facilitate diffusion.
4. continuous flow of blood to maintain a steep diffusion gradient for oxygen to diff in and carbon dioxide to diffuse out.
ok. hope i'll be able to remember tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005 21:04
"ivy, do you think i'll be able to finish bio and geog at the same time??"
"ivy, i don't think i have enough time to finish... howww?? i dont want to get kick out!!! awww!!"
these are the common remarks my dear room8 always gives. well, i guess itz quite hard on those ppl who are having pure geog and bio together. but hang on, you all sure can make it through. best of luck to ppl who fall into the category above.
***
though i dont fall into the above category, i'm having a hard time absorbing my c lit as well. now, who can i share my woes with? in times like this, the only person you can trust is yourself (erm.. i think i've said this many times ald) i hope this doesnt sound arrogant or anything. i learned this throughout the years. think abt this: though ppl may say "do look for me if you have any probs", but the only one who could really help you is YOU. you are your biggest friend, but most unfortunately, people seldom notice. hmm.. do i sound like an egoist and a narcissist now?
***
itz so fast.. i was just reminded that there's only 10 more days left to the end of o's. 10 days, less than two weeks. and then 7 days aft o's end, i'm on the bus, going home. turn back and look, i hope i gained something. i hope i existed in your pages of memories, however insignificant, really hope that when we meet one day ten years down the road, you'll still rmb me. and when we meet again, i hope, like i've said in the letters, we can hold hands and continue our journeys down the road.
can we, as friends?
Friday, November 04, 2005 16:27
"wei ni tan zou xiao bang de ye qu,
ji nian wo shi qu de ai qing
gen ye feng yi yang de sheng yin
xin sui de hen hao ting,
shou zai jian pan qiao de qing
wo gei de si nian hen xiao xin
ni mai zang de di fang jiao you ming..."
i like jay chou. i like fang wen shan. both make a good pair. i want november's chopin. itz nice. i think i m intoxicated by this song. no, correction, i think i am always intoxicated by songs lately. read in the papers that jay's songs are "formulated". hmm, even if they are formulated, they are infectious. and to be infectious, itz got to be zhong ting. er zhou jie lun de ge, you na shou shi bu zhong ting de ne?
***
you chang guo cha na jian de man zu ma? qi shi mei tian dou hui you ling wo men jue de hen man zu de dong xi, zhi shi ni yan guang fang de tai yuan, tai gao, qi huo zhe ni cong cong de lai, you cong cong de li qu, kan bu dao zhe xie xiao xiao de man zu. jin tian chi wu can shi, ta men zha de ji tui hao da o!! zhen de hao da! ran hou, zai wo yong cha he tang chi be ji tui shang de rou ba chu lai chi de na yi ke, wo da cong xin zhong kuai le qi lai. na pa zhi shi yi jian xiao dao bu zhi de ti de shi, qi shi dou ke ling ni da cong xin zhong kuai le.
peng you, ni kuai le ma? bu fang shi shi kan, yong yi ge xiao hai de xin qu kan dai mei ri ping fan you bu qi yan de shi, ke neng hui you suo ti hui o!
Thursday, November 03, 2005 18:08
alright, now i can type my post comfortably. i couldnt even tell the story of mitochondrion dna last nite cox the irritating security guard was stamping and shaking her bundle of keys - a signal to us to vacate the room as it was ald ten. ok, sorry for calling her irritating, it wasnt her fault anyway. she was merely executing her job.
***
the truth of our origins lie in us. as every bio student (and even non-bio student) knows that we come from the fusion of two cells - this is the very first bit of us. these cells are the ovum from your mom and the sperm from your dad. and then mrs wong can tell you all sort of things that happen after fertilization and bla bla bla. i'm not interested in regurgitating the bio textbook. but when it comes to inheritance, this is the interesting part. the bio books say that we inherit one allele each from our parents, specifically during the process of meiosis, where two alleles are separated and only one goes into forming the gamete. aiya itz a random process. anyway this is not the main point. i'm just revising my heridity.
BUT listen up. we only inherit our MOTHER'S mitochondria, and not the two-gametes-fuse-and-their-genetic-components-merge kind of talk. this is not the case for our mitochondria. the very first mitochondrion in us comes form, and only, from our mother. this is the story:
the ovum is released from the ovary. it is just like any cell in the body, just that it has haploid number of chromosomes (i've explained why just now). then here comes a 'sea' of sperms, all vying to be the one to fertilize the ovum (i mean without contraception). mitochondria is to provide energy for our cells. so in sperms, their tails are the parts that need most energy. and therefore, the mitochondria from our daddy are found in this region. then look. once one sperm manages to penetrate the cell surface membrane of the ovum, itz tail is detached from itz head. and dadda!!! your daddy's mitochondria dont enter with the cell nucleus, and hence, you inherit your mom's mitochondria.
i guess by tracing back the dna of our mitochondria, we may be able to find the first mom. could it be Eve, as the bible claims to be? i wouldnt know, unless the human genome is completely mapped and decoded like the rat's before i die. itz possible, but it takes time. i certainly wouldnt have the time for this. the human genome project will take generations before it can succeed. maybe in my next life, that i'll be the one revealing the human genome.
maybe.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005 21:47
it is vearrriii c-coldd here!! my fingers are almost freezing...it is the same sensation when i was in the music room this morning. you know, itz like your motor neurones in your fingers become retarded or juz had overdose of painkiller. itz kind of weird that the air-cons in this boarding skul is freezingly cold. itz so diff from the air-con in my house. itz not even as cold as here if i set the temp at 19 back there, when the temp here is like..25? goodness. anyway, i have to brush up my skills again, because the "jugglers" of "persian market" is rather messy when i played today. maybe it's due to the constriction of arterioles in my fingers, or maybe it's just because my fingers are rather rusty ald. well let me count.. itz about 3 months since i last stepped into the music room. and the speed is somehow not as fast as it used to be. something is really wrong.
***
do you know that we come from the same mother? and so we should share the same mitochondion DNA, cox we only obtain this particular dna from our mother. i'll tell you why later.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005 20:14
i think i go on9 everyday. ? i thought i am supposed to stay in my room and be a no-life-organism for about 3 weeks. apparently not now. then when?
***
quite unexpectedly, i got ks's msg this morning. and this reminds me of my phone bill i'm going to get this month. anyway, this is not the main point. since they got together, i've always kept my opinions to myself. i dont want to hurt anyone, or put anybody in a difficult position, though sometimes keeping this away from them is really hard, and i feel irritated at times. but i guess, in certain times, we should keep quiet as a friend, and let them sort their stuff out. they should learn.
another reason why i didnt voice out what i feel is that i may be biased. cs is indeed a very good friend, but when it comes to bgr, she is extremely defensive and offensive at times. as a third party (not that kind of third party) i can see pretty well what is going on. i can see that she is very warm towards me, but quite snappy towards lk. lk, like the bulk of us, is quite close to ks and ks always jokes ard with her. maybe this causes jealousy in cs. but hey, is this they way you treat your friend? lk has been such an old friend, dont tell me you dont know her inside out? she is obviously NOT the kind of bitch who steals her friend's boyfriend! i dont see why she throws her temper.
aft msging with ks i understand how ks feels as a person who is torn btn a boyfriend and a normal friend. he is trying hard to assure cs, but at the same time, he cant possibly severe ties with lk juz to please cs. itz difficult, so he seeked my advice. but to me, i think that therez virtually nothing i can advice him on. really. ks is a decision maker - he likes to make decisions for others, and more explicitly, his current gf. cs, on the other hand, is a decision challenger. from what ks told me, she often disagrees with ks's decisions, but when asked to make her own, she'll leave it to ks. hmm. although ks disagree with me that he is ego, i really think he is. their main prob is that they find it hard to agree to each other. i was like, huh? how can this be possible? ks claims cs to be very nosy that he finds it irritating at times. i wonder, he should have anticipated this when he first dated her. they even quarrel over the degree of importance of certain stuff, such as where to go, what to do, what to wear, where to meet, what time, and even what food to eat. my goodness.
hello!!! hooi! open your eyes! are these things important? these things can be decided on anytime, anywhere! i dont see why cs can be upset when ks doesnt find what she says as important, and neither can i understand why ks insists on his say. cs checks on ks very often. this is going overboard ald. the most basic thing in any relationship is trust. if this element is eliminated, the whole relationship degenerates.
and i notice the change in cs's character since they got together. she is more and more petty and calculating, and sees very minor flaws in everything. when i spoke to ks and joked ard with him just as usual, she was staring at me with a charcoal face. something must be in her mind. i dont wish to know, even if i actually guessed it. and i would never forget how shocked i was at her reaction when blatantly talked back at ks. she shot me, almost instantly, a sharp but brief glance, as if that was a dagger aimed right at my eyes. wow hey! what's your prob man? she even started a quarrel with emily juz because of a few ten dollars and uttered that two taboo words in the end!! this is not the cs i know at all! itz a big change man!
i really wonder if itz a good thing for me to understand them well. it may not, for i'm always the first to forsee anything and to detect anyting they are attempting to hide from others.
***
haiz.. itz not easy at all being a friend.
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day, is as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I can not fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think How we feel
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?
