this is an add-on.. i think i'm quite vain. haha, as mr shakespeare claimed," vanity thy name is woman". well, this just proves that ivy is a girl. hmm. i have this "abnormal" tendency to look at pics with ME in it first, before looking at others in the same pic. and i like taking pictures. i like myself being included in the pics. i look in the mirror more and more now. definitely more narcissistic than before.
according to the oxford dictionary for advanced learners, the word narcissistic refers to "excessive or abnormal love for oneself" ooh, i m falling almost directly into this category.

i dunno wad is with me lately, but i feel like changing 180 degrees. so i changed my phone lang to chinese. haha, that's how i'm able to send chinese msgs. and somehow, i feel very good sending chinese msgs! o oh, am i nuts? it feels really good to have a change aft such a long time doing the same thing. and now i'm having a chinese phone, sending chinese msgs, gradually being so 'chinese'. what's wrong with it? i'm a chinese anyway.

have you ever thought that what you are doing now are actually habits acquired from the past? you never realize, cox it's already been your second nature. it is like, already implanted in your sub-conciousness(thx wq for contributing this word), you nvr realize that you are actually doing it everyday. it's the same as breathing or heart beating. but it feels nice to have a change once in a while. trust me, try.

**this part is p&c**
i'm still a bit confused. i hope i treat him as good friend, and please stop at that. i'm sorry.
anyway, this is also an announcement: edison is discharged from hospital!! yays!! erm, this is for those who still dont know this piece of news.

woo! i'm now blogging with a super fast comp! and i dunnid to pay!
conclusion for the day:
i cant study chinese. therez nothing to study, cox i'll automatically revert back to amaths. this is nutz.

plus, my chinese words are not shown on this layout. right click doesnt help. but i dun feel like changing the template cox i like the fairy. hehe, then i've found a way to conceal those things i blogged but i dun feel like letting others see. haha. aiya then i can just blog in chinese. but nobody will be able to see.
***
this is a very random piece. no meaning at all. i shall continue with my amaths.

i actually wanted to blog yesterday, but due to the formal dinner i could not, so i penned down what i feel in a book. see when i have time to transfer that into my blog.
there was this person who dressed up as mc donalds! wow she SHOULD win cox she was so brave! but the person who dressed up to look like deng li jun erm... abit inappropriate cox deng lijun did NOT wear such gown! she is just simply putting her best clothing and that's it, any o how cough up a name, and there she won the competition. hurgh? deng lijun wore qi pao all the time when she performed.. anyway i sort of feel like listening to her songs now.. if you ask me what is my fav deng lijun's song, i'll say itz he ri jun zai lai. it's like a classic ald. and i like classics at times.
oh yeah! read in the papers, that jay chou's newest album is OUT!! i want!! i want!! hey there.. this is a hint ok..
if deng lijun's songs are classics, then jay's are infectious tunes. really. once you listen, ur mind keeps playing it over and over again even though u've stopped the song. that's why during exam times, i cant listen to his songs. if not, i'll be rocking my head more than writing anything on the paper.
i was awaken today by this song...

离开真的残酷吗
或者温柔才是可耻的
或者孤独的人无所谓
无日无夜无条件
前面真的危险吗
或者背叛才是体贴的
或者逃避比较容易吧
风言风语风吹沙
往前一步是黄昏
退後一步是人生
风不平浪不静
心还不安稳
一个岛锁住一个人

我等的船还不来
我等的人还不明白
寂寞默默沈没沈入海
未来不再我还在

如果潮去心也去
如果潮来你还不来
浮浮沈沈往事浮上来
回忆回来你已不在

一波还未平息一波又来侵袭
茫茫人海狂风暴雨
一波还来不及一波早就过去
一生一世如梦初醒
深深太平洋底深深伤心

ren xian qi <>

why am i here at this point of time? cox i want to shout. i cant shout in the room, for my room8s will be horrified; i cant shout outside, for i will be an officially-declared psycho in the boarding skul, which i dont want at all.
somehow mrs wong's words came true. i really wonder, why am i studying now? what am i studying for? oh please, dont ever tell me that's for my future. i've had enough of this kind of talk. my parents have been psychoing me into studying hard and getting as good grades as possible for every single test. i wont say it's a bad thing - at least i've been in the highest point before. but now, i'm sick of the books. and xtin's words are true too - if there is a reason for us being sick of studying now (i mean for scholars), it will be our prelims. quite true. scholars view prelims more importantly than 'o's, cox no one wish to be involved in JAE nxt march, as that will mean you will move to a lousier jc. please pardon me for my choice of adjective.
i know i'm in no position to criticize or comment on my friends' relationships, but you know, bitching has become my second nature so i have to do it. does it make sense? nvm, i shall find no more excuses for this behaviour.
getting attached in secondary skul is a very natural thing esp in mixed skul. but halo! can you like find a better partner? again, this is bitching. it contains slant and loaded language. read at your own risk.
she changed so much that i almost couldnt recognise her although she was talking to me. yeah, ppl tend to be more kai fang when they pak tor, this i can comprehend. but if getting attached to THAT guy makes you a more petty person, there is a problem. he is my friend too, but he will always stay as my fren, cox i simply just cant stand him bossing ard. he is too egoistic as a partner. and so you give me that offensive look just because i dont want to help him. who is he to tell me to do this and that in the first place? maybe both of you are my friends, and when friends are attached to each other, it's kind of hard for me to change my attitude slightly, cox i cant play and behave the way i used to be.
grr.. enough of bitching. i feel like a traitor now. sorry guys, you all can continue your relationships for all i care. anyway, what i say is never anything you will listen now.
***
and yao, yeah i guess i'll miss that stupid talks when i really leave nanyang. perhaps, we can go to the same jc and then we can continue...

had a quite meaningful and fruitful talk with lk and emily just now. you can really see how fragile your friendship is when someone who is supposedly your friend now is attached. those who are really worthy of your friend will still stay by you, but those fragile friendship will soon disintegrate, and reduce to nothing in the end.
3 years, 3 years of friendship is even lighter than a guy whom you are seeing for only about six months. itz natural that you both da qing ma qiao, but to ignore or to be oblivious of your friends' advice is really too much. i m quite disappointed, but on the other hand, i m quite happy. happy that this actually enlightened me to this ugly side of you.
and when two ppl you know quite well suddenly tell you that they are seeing each other, you will be confused. if i was asked this question, "what would be your reaction when both of your good friends get together?", abt a few years ago, i can tell you my ans would be "just be normal! both are your friends, and treat them as usual." but now, my ans would be diff, cox i'm experiencing it now. cs and ks. both quite good friends of mine. i know they feel awkward in front of all of us, so they dont do anything "diff". and so everyone just acts as normal. but we dont really feel that itz as normal as we try to make it to.
and if you ask me, which i dun think you will, i'll say both of you make a really weird pair. maybe itz due to prejudice, or maybe itz just that both of you are simply too close to me. as friends, so itz quite hard to change this impression to something else you want it to be.
emily with jing; sf with woon; cs with ks. i guess we all really grow up a lot.

i just realized my account is a bit weird weird, but nvm, it doesnt affect my blogging. that's the most important thing.
phew! relieved to know that ed is somehow fine now. i hope the doc patched his flesh back to the big hole. i'm not exaggerating, itz really big for a wound. the flesh was completely torn out ard his left ankle :( itz really awful when you try to imagine that scene. he said he could literally see his white bone, which was already abit broken. aww!!
the most amazing thing was, he actually bandaged his huge wound HIMSELF at the very accident area! quite a few drivers stopped by and looked, but i guess they were too gorified to even do anything. they did nothing, except for one who called the police (i guess). sigh~ typical of human nature - curious but ignorant. he tore off pieces of his skul u and started bandaging to stop the bleeding. luckily he is not haemophillic. oh man! he is SO brave! i salute him! even the bomba who came were stunned at the sight of ed's courageous act. they sort of waited for ed to finish wrapping his wound b4 sending him to A&E. cheers for ed!
and the mentioning of A&E outraged me a lot. cant believe the efficiency rate for a hospital staff, be it the doc or the hopeless nurses, is so so low! hello! please open up your drooping eyes! ppl juz suffered from car crash! lost a big piece of his own flesh, blood gushing out at such alarming speed, and all you all did was to anyhow bandage the hole, rest his foot on the seeming-soaked-with-blood pillow, and ask him to WAIT?? wherez your sense of urgency?! ppl could have died, if not for his mental strength! and i heard from likoon, that when they discovered that ed started bleeding again, they went looking for help. not a nurse took it as a serious matter. hello! what is this?? the taxpayers dont pay for complete ignorance, or maybe slothing nurses! and when they FINALLY located the doc, my frens were half-walking-half-running, while the stupid doc was taking his own sweet time, STROLLING. i wonder, have the years of uni edu only gave you the knowledge of bio-mechanism of the human body? where's is your efficiency and service spirit?
i m utterly troubled by this kind of attitude. do they look at their salary, and reflect on whether the job they've done matches the salary? no. and ed has to be hospitalized for at least a month. i cant imagine him being taken care of by these slothful beings. i m totally for the idea of changing hospital, but that means increase in hospitalization fees.
the first thing i'm gonna do when i go back is to visit him. i guess he shld be discharged by then.

this is specially for edison.
i'm aware that you are very upset abt the accident. i think everyone is. the lorry driver was at fault. if i can, i would go in place of you and claim all the hospitalization costs from that irresponsible driver. have you claimed from him? he better give in willingly... i know why you din let them tell me, but hey, exams arent so important that we have to neglect and ignore our friends right? thatz what friends are for!
what were you thinking when i called you just now? i was almost speechless, you know. really. cant believe you can still joke around, when one piece of your flesh is torn out of your foot. i know that was supposed to make me feel less awful, and i really appreciate that. i know the last thing you want is to cause ppl to worry over you.
that is one thing why i salute you. you'll never let misfortune overwhelm you. my unsatisfactory results now seem so insignificant as compared to what you are current battling against. here, i give you my full support (though you will be oblivious of it when you see jiaxin). you will win this battle with pride, i can assure you.
i hope the operation that you'll be going for does not cause you physical pain. well, i believe the doc is pro enough. sigh~ you were there for me during my trying times back there, but now i cant even reciprocate. i cant be there, joining with the others to accompany you throughout this trying period. i feel so guilty. nevertheless i send my moral support through phone and hope you can receive it. you must get well soon.
full recovery wont be shorter than six months. but i have full confidence that you will recover very soon.

ren sheng wu chang. u saw leslie cheung's suicide, ke shou liang's death and princess dianna's accident. all three resulted in unpredicted deaths. it suddenly dawned on me that we are very close to yan luo wang almost every moment. which sounds stupid of course, but itz the truth.
you saw 911 on tv. what abt those who were actually on the plane that time? they didnt expect it, but it happened. what abt the others who were also flying to somewhere else, who reached their destination as desired, go to their hotels or homes, switched on the tv, saw the news regarding the suicidal crash, juz to get to know how close they were to death. had the hijacker chose their planes... they would not exist anymore.
***
destination. thatz where ppl will go. this sounds pathetic and pessimistic, but think, how many ppl die on their way to somewhere? i can tell you itz a fairly high percentage. car accidents, you can be robbed of your lives anytime. only those who've experienced it know that itz a close shave. unexpected.
and so i juz got an unexpected news. it was the first time that i saw my eyes can be widened to such a size. mind you, i m not so ego, but it so happened that i was combing my hair when my phone rang. telling me abt the accident wasnt her main intention. but very soon we touched on the subject.
edison is in hospital. oh my god. that is the last thing i would ever want to hear, at least for now. they didnt want to tell me actually, afraid that i may lose focus and affect my prac. but hey, thatz wad frens are for. anyway i was quite worried when i first got to know abt it. they were out for celebration (of which i wasnt happy cox i couldnt attend), and ed needed to go home and take sth. presents for them, i presume. on his way baq to the restaurant, he was met with an accident. in the roundabout, his motorbike was hit by a lorry. it wasnt his fault-he was hit from behind. but his leg was badly injured. the bones were dislocated and a little crushed. eew, does it sound saddening?
he juz finished his operation. so owing to this accident he had to postpone all his exams, and be clutches-bound for a few months. meanwhile, he has to lie on hospital bed for a week(i suppose) b4 being discharged. that is, if the doc is satisfied with his recovery. i couldnt believe it at first, cox he's always been clowning ard the class and always bright and happy. he didnt want so many ppl to know abt his accident, including me and his girlfriend. but itz like we r the only two ppl who were kept in the dark. of course his gf found out earlier than me.. and i guess both of them would be lovey-dovey in the hosp when his gf visit him. huh. shant think abt it.
my friends are all forking out RM15 each to help in his hosp bill. 40x15=600. can still help a little. i m going to pay 15 bucks oso. the sum may be insignificant, but i hope it'll still be of help.
through this, i see the bond among us. if one day one of us meet with the same fate, will 4/13 do the same?

nj and vj open house today, and collected goodie bags! somehow my impression of nj changed abit, which is a good thing i suppose. no prejudice ald. but i heard one, no itz two things, which made me feel miserable today. one - nj cut-off point for L1R5 is 6. SIX. that means A1s for my lang, maths science and c lit. obviously did not happen to me during my prelims. second - vj cut-off point is 7-8. which is so near my current L1R5, and yet so far. hrmph. and hweisan said vj is biased towards the first-intakers, and not the second round. that means, slim chance for entering vj for ivy. waaa~~~
anyway, saw so many of them today, whether itz in vj or nj. i know why i din feel like crying yesterday. it's because in my sub-concious i know that i'll still be seeing them. maybe i'll be more emotional when itz like really our last day together, maybe aft the steamboat, aft harry potter, maybe even aft chalet...
all made me feel like making appreciation cards to everyone. but i know, for someone as artistically impaired as me, itz not possible at all. so i can juz afford cards to some, and the rest maybe juz msgs.
***
this is to mq: hey sorry i din hear you calling me when we were climbing the stairs.. perhaps the rain and my own giggling drowned your voice haha... it was the most lang bei state i've ever landed in, trust me, if someone is so free to take a video of the entire process, itz worthy enough to be shown on "candid camera".

am i a lousy friend actually? i realise i tend to do wrong things in the wrong time. it juz feels bad to go against ur promise. yeah i guess in this case, i really have alot of things to jian tao.
**
last day of skul, i guess nobody even has the mood to have lessons. we had practically no lesson (except bio) today. eng lesson was messy, haha i guess everyone including mrs tay wasnt in any mood for lesson. mrs wong din even teach (but therez nothing for her to teach anymore) and let us take pic in class. according to faith and janet, our noise level during matz was remarkable and impressive. haha. took alot of pics which i think was pretty memorable. at least they are wad i'm taking wif me when i leave nanyang. not only those, certain friendship as well. i'll rmb for sure. mrs wong even made a card for each and everyone of us, juz like laoshi. itz like wow! so nice! hmm mrs wong said she has had confidence in me since last year, and that i'll do well for both maths.. but sorry i let her down in this prelims. i hope i can prove her right in o's. somehow i feel quite open abt my results when she asked abt my L1R5 during maths. i had no reservations at all. i guess i'm starting to change, which is a good sign. i grow. and then she said i m sth like her when she was young, strong in maths and sciences but weak in humans and lang. thanks mrs wong, that was warm. i respect her, i think we all do, and i hope in future i m respectable.
though said that scholars' jc are determined by prelims, i dun mind not going to the jcs i had always wanted to, such as those supposedly good jcs. but i still dun want to go nj. biasness i suppose. i wont mind as long as i get better results in o's.
**
this is one thing i have to blog abt. it was i guess the funniest experience. maybe not funny. wadever. it was raining when we planned to go home from kap. then no one had an umbrella, so the whole lot of us basically juz walking in the rain, in our skul u! ok theirs not so bad cox they didnt need to cross over..mq and i were so wet when we stopped in the bus stop! haha when i was climbing the stairs i thot she was behind me so i walked faster so that we could reach faster.. however when i was on the bridge i realised mq was so poor thing haha! she said she was so tired to climb and it was so funny! so both of us the luo tang ji crossed the bridge, only to find that she missed her bus! that time we were really soaked ald. so this was our last day of skul.. my last day in nanyang.
and i want the pics we took today!

i suddenly realised that tmr is the last skul day for us! sadd.. i thot i wont miss this place, but now i think i'm gonna miss it abit. however bad this is, i've spent two years here, living with the same ppl, going to the same skul. this means something.
***
laoshi gave each and every of us an envelope with presents! and she actually bothers to print our name one by one and paste it onto the envelope and insert a card together with some other small gifts. thank you! i wonder how long she started doing all these...
and now i hit my single-digit-target again! but anyway there iznt much to be proud of cox itz not my raw score. i din get it by my own. the skul added one point for my c lit, thus pushing my grade from b3 to a2, reduced my L1R5 by one point. thatz how i got single digit. a few days ago i was still so noisy abt not affected by mod, and now i wish that they've never added anything to me. not to say i m ungrateful, i'm actually very thankful of it. but this also means that i'm diff from other c litters. i dun want. i mean, b4 this all of us were short of one point to move up our grades, and now i've got what i wished for, but not the others. hmm.. how to put it? i feel bad not being the same, despite the fact that we've been thru so much in this two years. well, i'm glad that cat understands.. i know others will do the same too..still, itz better if all of us get that one point together.
***
congrats to sam, for getting first in class, and rachael for second. i know mq sensed something during second recess when we discussed abt that thing. sorry mq for not telling you, which may make u feel bad. we were not talking anything bad behind anyone. i shant disclose anymore - juz hope that what i did today is not futile. i believe we should get what we should have and claim our rightful title.
i hope the skul respond to it.

i'm here cox i want air con. went down to the office today, juz to find out a more terrifying truth - our air con cant be repaired so soon. the prob lies in the main compressor.and that means, no air con for a few more days. great, shall be roasted for a few more days.
***
i'm here cox all the tutors are having meeting. haha, that means i can be abit late for prep, and lok chi wont be able to find out. hehe.
***
class chalet is cancelled. cant put the blame on the act reps, cox everyone is busy and tied down with diff things, esp lately when therez like so many exams and things to prepare and hw to be done. which reminds me of my eng. i havent been finishing my hw honestly. cant finish and dun feel like finishing? sorry tchrs!
anyway class chalet is cancelled, change to steamboat instead. a fairly good idea actually, aha then we can have a gluttony meal again! ha i hope it would end up like the seoul gdn one.. where everyone kept eating and eating and eating until cant take it anymore. so that our money iznt wasted and we'll make the most out of it!
i hope we'll keep our words. this may be the last opportunity to be wif them; we may not see each other again. haiz.. two years have nearly passed.. think baq again.. do i gain anything from it?
i should.

this is the song i keep thinking since i woke up... and its lyrics is very meaningful..
i feel alot for it..
是否很惊讶讲不出说话
没错我是说你想分手吗
曾给你驯服到就像绵羊
何解会反咬你一下 你知吗

回头望伴你走
从来未曾幸福过
赴过汤蹈过火
沿途为何没爱河
下半生陪住你
怀疑快乐也不多
没有心别再拖
好心一早放开我 从头努力也坎坷
通通不要好过 来年岁月那么多
为继续而继续
没有好处还是我
若注定有一点苦楚
不如自己亲手割破

是否不甘心首先给撇下
换了你是我你忍得到吗
捱得过无限次寂寞凌迟
人心态早己看得化也可怕

candy lu <> in canto~~

i m being pampered. i cant tolerate the heat. that is, if any of you feel that the temp these few days has gone up. or maybe not at all.
the air con in my room is faulty again!! itz the 2nd time this happened since last year. but somehow, the experience last yr was not as dreadful as this time. perhaps itz bcox i've been staying in such a comfortable and cool env that i now forget what it is like without constant air-conditioning. to put it short, i'm being so pampered and xiao jie.
it was so warm last nite. i even felt like i'm melting when i got up this morning. itz psycological i know. but one thing is for sure - the air smell stale. i miss the cooling air!! i've reported this matter to the office, but they are like not doing anything at all!! wad de??!! and they charge us for using air con sommore.. please repair my air con so that i can sleep in peace.....
***
tchr wrote my testi ald. dunno wad to say aft reading the testi. testi is supposed to reflect good things in you.. but my testi is rather short. well, i guess itz proportional to my days in nanyang. will i miss this skul when i graduate?
***
sometimes, i feel extra. sometimes, i m intimidated. but most of the time, i feel nothing. how come? i thought homo sapiens are organisms with the highest brain development on Earth?

i realize this is the 102nd post. how come i m not even aware of this?
i have loads of hw waaaa...... all to be finished today. hrmph.
yeah laoshi.. din know u were reading my blog anyway. still, therez nothing to hide though.
shang xin shi shi zi zao de. wo fei chang tong yi.
if ppl think that i'm the one in class making the most noise abt not affected by moderations, well, i've nothing to say. itz simply bcox i'm being straightforward. i know this doesnt sound nice, esp to those who benefitted so much fr moderations. but nvm. when i complain, i have nobody as specified target. if you really wanna think that i have one, and that one is you, so be it. but if i had unintentionally hurt you as i was complaining, i apologise. cox none of them was meant for any of you.
i m now pointing at you now. yeah, u were right. most ppl get bad grades due to lack of preparation. i agree. but hey, do you have to say it out in assembly? and mind you, you'll say this cox u gain much fr mod. not everyone falls into your description.
it was juz now that i know a fact, which really exposed me to your true colours. not that i din see it in you b4, but itz juz that i din want to take it to heart. i m disappointed. but i m glad that therez still somebody who noe that i mean nothing when i complain. thatz enuff.
you dun nid many frens, you juz nid someone that understands and empathizes with you when something happens. maybe under diff circumstances that someone may be diff, but as long as you are able to find that someone when something happen, you are blessed, however small the blessing is.
i've found the someone in this case. and to the someone(if you ever read this and know that itz you), thank you so much. itz hard to tell you in person, perhaps i'm juz too proud, but
thank you, and i really truly mean it.

i hate to bring this up, but i guess typing here is better than telling ppl, esp those who dun understand. even if they understand, they do not empathise. understanding and empathizing are two very diff things. furthermore, due to my sensitivity, i dun feel like telling those who are better than me at all. i hate the feeling of inferiority. i dun wish for the top, but i detest being inferior. and i cant tell those who scored worse so that i wont rub salt in their wounds. see, i have nobody to shout at except here, my sanctuary.
i get 10pts for prelims. this is wad i do not want at all. at first, i thot i got 9, cox mdm mak said b4 in assembly that we can go up to the nxt grade if itz only one or two marks diff. i mean, 9 to me is not a good score, partly cox i expected more. but since then i've been telling myself that hey, i actually hit my one-digit-target, my very first target when i came. and that actually i've gotten so many A1s (exluding amaths), so itz only my language. itz not that bad aft all. but now, i m disillusioned again. everyone says c lit is very easy to get A1 and bla bla bla. i've proved you wrong. ok maybe to you i'm just stupid. yeah. so stupid to patch a hole in my heart, just to know that you are going to poke though it again.
perhaps i just have high pride. perhaps i just think to highly of myself. wadever the case, the truth is i m devastated again. first, amaths. then, failing chinese compo. third, being disillusioned by c lit. and now, MODERATIONS DO NOT AFFECT ME AT ALL. this doesnt help. if my rum8s are not here, i will shout in the room. i feel like crying, but i've forgotten how. is it because i've been laughing and putting a strong front always to not worry ppl, that somehow i'm used to it?
i dun mean to compare at all actually. when wlk wrote abt moderations on the board, i juz felt wasted cox they moderated chem and amaths, like i need that? and combined humans, like i would ever use it. so when everybody was rejoicing i juz felt happy for them. the blow came when the marksheet came. itz unintentional, of cox, that i saw others' l1r5. i mean, when u r looking at the marksheet wif your frens, of cox you'll juz see each others' marks. sommore, there are so many single digits. of cox out of curiosity i will see who got it. it din cross my mind to compare at all. believe it or not. it started to feel bad when wad i got is so near to wad others got aft moderations. and that ppl can actually moderate up to 4 points. and some even got lower than me due to moderations, when my raw score is like lower than theirs, thus pushing my scores further back. this is just so unfair. i'm the only person(so far) unaffected by moderations in the class.
all i could do that day, was to smile at those surpassed me after moderations, see their happy faces, wondering if i look fake in doing so. please dont misunderstand me. i truly felt happy for all of you, itz a happy thing to you. but half of me was paralysed. it really took me great effort to get up on my feet and pretend that nothing happened. yan ba ba kan zhe ni yue tui yue yuan, shi fei chang zhe mo ren de. i tried to feel better, who knows mrs wong brought this topic up again. i fell totally into her first category of ppl - those who r not so affected by moderations. and as i thought i will feel better by eating wif them in kap, bad news came again. why is it like never-ending? i was told that c lit grades remain in kap, which ruined the barrier i built again.
i wonder if therez any bad news coming. if there are, can all come together? i'm tired of building and rebuilding the wall and my confidence. i doubt i have strength to build the wall again if this wall i'm currently working on is demolished again.

i cut my hair!!
now i understand why ppl call hair "fan-nao-si". prior to this, my hair was abt waist-length. it tends to curl, not too much, but enough to irritate me (you know i like straight hair most). so finally, i overcame my procrastinating tendencies and went to cut them short. itz now my shoulder-length. i'm happy with this length, although i still find flaws, however minute, in certain parts. haha, my perfectionist in me comes out again. overally, itz quite satisfying, except that the fringe really requires some time to style aft i bathe.
having shorter hair makes my head lighter, so now i understand why ppl like short hair.. but i still prefer long hair.. at least over the shoulders. but the hair length is inversely proportional to age, that means as you grow older, your hair must look shorter. you can still have long hair, juz that you'll have to tie it up or bun it up as you age.
i want to watch tong meng qi yuan. i saw the making-of of this movie.. and it really makes me feel like watching even more. i think it'll be a very meaningful film to catch.

faith said amaths is very addictive. i half agree to the statement.
i owe so much classfund! i've juz paid 30 bucks.. and now i have to pay 30 more! i guess all my allowance from moe is used in clearing my debts... which is so saddenning. i hate to be broke. alright, if i m really not gonna be rich next time, i'll juz find a rich husband and marry. then be a tai-tai. haha so nice right?
withdrawal symptoms are annoying. itz like thousands of ants all crawling onto ur body at one time, make you itching all over. but luckily i've found the suppressant - doing other skuls' prelim pp. itz really effective. i manage to forget abt bathing juz by doing the acsi amath p1.
everyone says their workload is very heavy.. but it doesnt seem like it to me, though i still moan sometimes. i mean, compared to pure hist ppl, i m considered extremely lucky. and mrs wong only gives one paper one day.. bio pp not here yet.. and 5 chem pp to go. i guess i can finish chem very soon.. so itz not so worrying. the most worrying thing now is my geog. oh man! can you ever imagine me taking TKGS geog pp? i think i will get like F9 if i take it as my prelims man.. i dunno how to ans at all! apart fr geog.. maybe chinese and c lit need abit of attn.. aiya but i guess i'll juz heck it.

the teachers think that we only study the subjects they teach.
well, i know all teachers are worried and anxious abt our impending o's. worried whether we'll preserve their records or break them. ha, it so happens that each time i'm in an exam year like this, each time my batch will break the record. either the best or the worst. so far, only once was the best. others were the worst.
homework are filling in. other schools' papers are piling in as well. wow, if you look at it, itz really alot to finish. but does it mean that we cant have entertainment? does that mean that we must forgo all the tv programmes and drama series? ok, if the addiction is really bad, then cut down on the time spent on tv. but this doesnt mean no tv at all.
if the teachers think that our class is lazy or slacking, i can tell you itz dead wrong. juz because we look hippee and happy doesnt mean that we still slack at home. at least not for the bulk of us. itz really a rare opportunity for the entire class to sit down and watch a show together, and to talk abt it aft that. wangzibianqingwa is sth that bonded our class indirectly. ok, maybe staying baq aft skul to watch is not very convincing, but why cant we make use of our recesses for little entertainment like this?
are the teachers really so innocent to think that students will surely obtain flying results if they mug and mug and mug everytime you see them? i can prove you wrong, cox my amaths had done so.

i'm sorry people. i'm just not prepared to make known my relationship. if you ever find your ways here, please accept my forgiveness. i was just stunned, din expect ** to turn up in my blog..
guess i've put super alot of things in my heart all the time. you're right. i dun need protection at all. itz true. even if they had asked me, i wouldnt agree either. so save the fuss.
being friends is more convenient to a certain extent as well. i just hope no one else knows about my previous post, so that we wont feel awkward when we meet again.
***
if you were to choose, what will you want to be? a porcupine to defend yourself? or being nice person to almost everybody, but turn out to be a pincushion instead? i guess all the while i've been a porcupine, so that i wont get hurt in any way.

MissyIvy
A Cynic with passion for
the Art of Sarcasm
Chemist in training

Do Better Nails
World Peace
AIDS Free
most importantly,
Finish Everything ON TIME! and
try not to be late

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