wo fa xian le yi yang dong xi, jiu shi jin tian tai yang te bie zao qi o! ping shi de wo, bu dao qi dian bu chu men, suo yi qi dian le, tian zi ran liang qi lai le. dan shi, jin tian jiu wei le na me yi tao xiao fu, wo 6.40 jiu chu men, pao dao c block qu yi fu. dou guai zuo wan lan na, bu ran wo ke yi he zhou gong zai yue hui duo ji fen zhong. ran hou wo jiu fa xian le neng rang wo mo ming qi miao de gao xing de shi-tai yang yi jing shen qi lie! yi wei qian fang hui xian ru mi meng zhuang tai, shui zhi que yi qing er chu! hao xiang tian shi jie jie te bie wei wo zhao liang qian fang! zhang le zhe me da, hai shi di yi ci gan dao na shun jian de xing fu na!
***
"zhi yao zai jin ji guan tou bu fang qi, wei ji jiu hui bian zhuan ji"
shi dang ou shuo de. zhen hao xiao, wo ke shi di yi ci gan shou dao quan ban (wo shi shuo ji hu quan ban la) ju ji qi lai de li liang. hua! bu shi kai wan xiao de ye! wang zi bian qing wa ke shuo shi yi zhong neng liang, ba 413 yong jiu ju min de xiao xiao xin ling dou xi zhe, jian dan lai shuo, jiu shi ji hu mei ge ren dou kan shang yin le! ou xiang ju jiu shi you zhe me yi zhong li liang, ni ruo bu kan, na dao hao, qi ma ni bu hui shang yin. dan ruo ni zuo xia lai kan le, na pa jiu zhi shi yi ji, ta ye hui xiang ci tie, ba ni suo you de zhu yi li he jing shen xi guo qu. yi ji wan shi hou, hehe.. jiu bie xiang bu kan le. zhe ye shi wo men wu fa zi ba a!
***
zhen ai, zhen de hui chu xian ma? you xie ren yi miao zhong jiu zhao dao, jiu ren ding le; dan ye you xie ren, yi bei zi dou zai xun xun mi mi, dan dao hou lai que leng leng qing qing na!<> li shuo guo: xiang ai, you de ren yi miao zhong jiu que ding le; you de ren que hua le yi bei zi, dou hai gao bu qing ai de shi shui.
na me, wo gai zai shen me shi hou cai zhi dao ta yi chu xian le ne? you hui zhen yang cai zhi dao ne? dou shi yi lian chuan bie ren wu fa jie da de wen ti.
***
duan yan hao you shuang chong xing ge, yi bian shi tian shi, ling yi bian shi mo gui. zong shi ta you duo huai, ta dui xiao kui de hao, shi you mu gong du de. dan, na bu shi ta de zhen ai. fu chu le zhe me duo, que huan lai yi chang kong. zhi de ma?

[open arms]
So now I come to you
with open arms
Nothing to hide,
believe what I say
So here I am
with open arms
Hoping you'll see
what your love means to me
Open arms

haiyo... i'm using skul com now.. itz like super SUPER slow...
now i've OFFICIALly gotten my prelims results... i failed my combines.. well i can always use other subjects.. juz a pity i stay in my room wif all the smarties...
eng-b3
hchi-b3
amaths-b3
clit-b3
mathd-a2
chem-a1
bio-a1
combines humanities-D7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hrmph! spoil my record!

people are always talking. and they talk non-stop. and here, i guess i m partially the majority.
i dunno how many ppl read my blog. now that prelims are over and all the results are taken, you hear things again. complaints, the i-should-have-done-this-and-that stuff. sometimes i get really irritated when i hear these. at the same time, i guess i do complain. this is a living proof of ppl like me who always contradicts herself.
something queer happened to me today. hhm itz not anything great, but this thing that happened really set me off thinking. is there any other purpose of that person doing that? wad is he/she hinting? a bad thing if ur blog is publicized, or so-called, is that sometimes(i mean all the times) u tend to watch what u type. agree wif me? i think u will.
well, *sigh~* not so bad actually. 11 pts, though quite far from my one-digit-target, is wad i deserve, i suppose. i can understand why ppl try all means to know others' results and at the same time, try to hide theirs as far as poss. but i know, if this is the majority, i'll be more than happy to be part of the minority. i dunno wad u'll think of me up till now. trying to act noble perhaps? continue having this perception then.
***
as far as i rmb i was really numbed on fri. getting a b3 for amaths which is supposedly one of my best guaranteed a1 subject was as good as being bitten by your beloved dog. dogs are man's best friends. and amaths is more than my 'fren'. but somehow, i still think getting b3 for amaths is better than getting b3 for chem, though both are my 'frens'. i still preserve half my record, though, so not SO bad after all. haha. at least my sciences nvr disappoint me, nvr leave me when i felt so 'betrayed'. 2 a1s still came baq to me, and itz enough to help me get over maths. a pity that i can even jump one more grade if i get one more mark for c lit.. hehe but life isnt always perfect, rite? maybe i've had too much of good grades before this, staying above the clouds for the entire maths and sciences(pardon my lack of modesty here), so god wants me to wake up from my fantasy to realize that exams arent as simple. yeah, i've woken up, and paid a price. wells, it kind of boosted my EQ, so erm... i still gained more than i lost. *shruggs*
no matter what jc i m entering, i wont mind. i know a lot of ppl will feel superior over me, or rather, i may feel inferior towards certain ppl at times(which i really hate), but everything will be gone aft you graduate and work. nobody will rmb who u r in high skul, they'll juz rmb u as a person they know. so why compare grades?

the worst thing in life is that, no matter wad u do, itz only aft u've done it, that u know u could have done it better still.
***
it is always contradictory. and i hate to be the majority.
this sounds arrogant, but accept it, ivy, u r simply not good enough.
dad assured that itz ok, but i know he is disappointed. he tried to sound encouraging, but that was before i told him abt the results. thanks dad for trying, but same as u, i'm utterly disapointed. indeed, wad did was "incomprehensible and unforgivable" as the eng teachers said.
i mean, get real. who in the right mind will say "yeah, u r rite. ur results are utterly disappointing. i couldnt understand how u can get such low grades" when u tell him right on his face that u cant meet the expectations. u urself want the best. and u've done way better. things juz don fit in this time. everyone will feel the disappointment. but i know u r disappointed.
***
the saddest thing abt living in a community which practices meritocracy is that ppl look at merely the piece of paper with all ur grades written on it, and judge u as a whole juz by referring to that skimpy looking paper. that means, after all the N years of struggle, u only prove urself in that particular test. EXAM, ivy. once u screwed it up, they'll think u r born quite gone-case. even though u've topped for N times. yeah thatz how they see, with eyes born only for the bright and intelligent.
***
i know if i met my expectations, the above story will be completely different. but what is done cannot be undone.

i dunno if i wasted my whole day. oh man! i was practically sleeping the entire morning and afternoon, except for that pathetic one-hr in which i had to take bath and lunch. other than that, well, u can ask uncle zhou then. i had been with him all day long.. and i dun think he wants to see me at nite ald.. so, well, i can expect myself to turn on my bed and not sleeping tonight. however, xtin said that i really made 'full' use of my holiday. did i miss the sarcasm?
***
anyway, xtin told me that she did well in her prelims!! well CONGRATS!! ha! i'm really proud to have her as room8.. other than her higher malay and eng that got her a B4 and C5, all her other subjects are A2 and above! for God's sake! all her maths and sciences are a1! the only a2 are both her humanities! oh God, how can i have such a room8?
Xtin! love u man! well done!!
***
erm... which juz reminded me that friday is impending... nearing... i really dunno what i'll get on that day.. amaths esp.. i really hope i can do fairly well in all my maths and sciences... really hope so... and not forgetting my chinese!! oh man! i really dun want to jump down the building... but surely i'll feel like doing so if itz not distinction! and no moderation for chinese alright!
***
met anna fu juz now. and if that doesnt ring a bell, i'm gonna talk chem now. she said 4/13 scored fairly well for the section B organic chem qn!! she said most of us, when she marked, scored 6 and above! i asked her if there are ppl getting full marks, she refused to tell me! haha! beat all her classes(except 4/8) 1-0!! yeah man! four thirteen rox and will keep rocking for o's! haha! and then she even said 4/13 is placed 4th among all the classes in mcq! and that means... we beat 4/11, 4/12 and 4/14 1-0 as well! hmmm.. not bad after all right? i mean, excluding the prc classes, we only lost to 4/9! yeah!
now that i feel better... not psycho any more...

i m going to make a powerful statement, and it has nothing to do with canon powershot something.
P R E L I M S ARE O V E R!!!!!!!
yoohoo! one week of lifelessness has passed.. well, not dat happy ending is ahead of me, but at least for this two days, i'm gonna live life to the fullest (sounds so aunty-ish), which means NO contact with books!!
orchard rd is not alive b4 11... this is a fact proven today. we reached tangs at abt 1030, walked along the underpass, and all the way to wisma. the traffic was clear.itz like the first time for me, i guess.
***
" i love you.. wu fa bu ai ni baby..shi ni ye ai wo~
i love u, yong yuan bu yuan ni baby, shi qu ni~"
this is part of the lyrics of 'i love u' fr david tao. the person sitting opp me is blasting this song! which juz reminds me of junyang and juedui superstar.
*shivers* sorry to say i cant stop my hair erector muscles from contracting whenever it's the high pitched parts.
***
i found this book, more like encyclopedia to me, abt medicines, but itz all abt drugs, in orchard lib. itz like, WOW! the book illustrates everything and anything abt diff kinds of drugs available, including the '100 new drugs'. there was info on taboos while taking the drugs, the effects they have on body and brain, and even how to eat them for certain drugs. came across this word "antihistamines" which sounded so familiar and yet i din know where i heard of it. saw this drug ATARAX. they say it may have adverse effect on the brain, and sometimes fatal. should juz skip it if u forget to eat in time, cox CANNOT take DOUBLE dose.
so u know wad to do when u r tired of living.
***
jamie,sam,joy,xinying,xinjun,wenting n i were one of the early birds in seoul gdn. we started at 1140. it was so exciting! most ppl r carnivorous in nature, ha i'm glad i'm the minority again! cox i ate bittergourds, capsicum and vege, which most of them preferred not to touch. the whole lot of us was so enthu abt eating the sze-chuan chic that i guess we at least took four plates of that. not counting the beef, other types of chic, fishballs, sotong (not very successful though) and dong fen!OMG! i realize we were big fans of dong fen! xinying kept cooking the dong fen for the three of us! anyway we kept grilling and cooking and eating for... lets see... at least three hours! well, joy n i stayed for nearly four hours! so you can guess how hard my digestive system is working now... i guess i can jolly well skip dinner.
***
it was a gluttony meal. that means i sinned today. together with me, were the ppl above and those who came later- mar, bella, rach, yuling, kaishi and two unexpected guests, xinyi n suelynn. so made up 14.
***
the seven sins of man - sloth, wrath, gluttony, envy, pride, greed, lust.
then i sin everyday :
sloth - laziness, idleness (so i have to admit i laze ard)
wrath - extreme anger (never)
gluttony - hunger (can u ever say i never commit this sin?)
envy- jealousy (ok i m not in this category)
pride - being arrogant (haha! i'm nvr arrogant to others! this is out!)
greed - thirst for everything others have (well, everyone wants everything!)
lust- i'm too innocent for this.
and so i commit at least 3 sins everyday!
and i'm still bloated. i guess my waistline increased by one inch.
***
kaishi enlightened me: we dont need to eat fats. our body can manufacture fats on itz own, therefore no additional fats needed. wow. and she says she saw this in textbook and mrs wong's notes. how come i nvr see it before? anyway, the explanation is: excess glucose is transported to the liver via the hepatic portal vein, where they are converted to glycogen in the presence of insulin produced by the pancreas. glycogen is stored in the liver, where in excess, will be converted into fats! and guess where the fats go? the adipose tissue beneath your very skin! HA! that's why! dun eat extra fats! if not u'll become a ball!
boink - boink!
***
antihistamines should ring a bell. look for 'histamines' in the chapter of hormones and drugs. but i guess the first time i saw it was when i was flipping nervous system. the part on transmission of impulses across the synapse.

they put bio n geog together. nutz. my hands are gonna be even more painful aft mon.
***
and SOME annoying ppl!!! i really... really have nothing to say u noe... wad de?? n i tell u ppl.. i noe who u all are la! u all think i dunno? think i m idiot izit? havent u got anything better to do? ha u fang xin, i wont get WRINKLES, even if i study hard... therez sth in the world called MOISTURIZER!! so forget abt the xx talk! :P hrmph!
warning:: if any one of u cont to flood my tagboard wif nonsensical talks, i'm really gonna ask xx to box all of u!! hrmph!!

this is not some extra-ordinary discovery. but my fren publicized her relationship so much. waah. the guy even said sth like " xx is my gf now.. but 4 years down the road, she'll be my wife..." dotz.. u cant even tell wad will happen for sure tmr, let alone 4 years down the road? seriously i dun ask for eternity, i juz ask for a happy present. i know my heartbreaking day is coming soon.
sigh~~~

*heave a sigh of relief* ~~~~~~
finally. c lit ended. i dunno if i will score well, but who cares abt their score when the subject they had been studying and studying for has finally passed? pure humans down, now left only bio and geog. not being arrogant here, but maths d pp 1 has nth got to do with mugging. ha!
***
when i logged onto blogger, i realized that i hv 86 posts ald. maybe this sounds few to some ppl, but it is a lot to me. m i the majority to feel this?
pc msged me during my c lit time.. sorry pc and jodie!! i din look at my fone aft my c lit.. only rmb that my fone was actually in my bag aft i reached my room! sorry then, couldnt help both of u get the bio stuff.. anyway u all wont even c this la.. haha.. juz realized that i m actually talking to myself or talking to nothingness...

ARGH!! i feel like shooting myself, or juz bang my head to the wall. bang and knock and bang and knock until my mind is clear. looks like i've gotta say a big goodbye to my dream jc. eew sounds disgusting now to me. wad dream jc. i know all the while i've been keeping my distance from jurong(no offence intended, sorry if u r in jj) but i guess i'll have to start learning how to like that jc. i know some ppl(if they read this) will tsk and shake their heads, and mumble that "ivy, if u get into jurong, then where will i go" or "won't la, u'll sure go this jc and that jc one" etc. come on, get realistic. i've completed 2 subs so far(those dat i'm counting on), and none of them give me any assurance that i may be able to get single digit. let alone 6. okay, now i think 6 is a very high expectation. sorry dad. i dunno where u r gonna hide ur face once the results are out.

i screwed amaths. thatz the only subject i truly have confidence in. yet i lost so many points. lin2 told me that we can afford 40 points to be taken to get min a1.. let's hope that i dun get penalised for more than 35 pts. juz to play safe, if the skul suddenly increase the min mrks for a1. carelessness again. i really dunno how to shake this bad habit off. itz part of me ald. maybe i shall juz score more pts to cover up my carelessness. maybe.

i want prelims to end asap. alright, i noe b4 i realise anything itz ald gone. same goes to my results. i always thought that chem doesnt need memorising. but i was wrong. wad hydrogenation needs Ni catalyst and temp of 200celcius. blah. then production of alcohol fr alkene req phosphoric(V) acid and hi temp and pressure. tell me if u dun memorise how r u gonna ans? so my chem result is still not guaranteed. still an unknown. c lit definitely gonna kill me. geog not any better. bio needs memory work as well. so see, the facts above show that amaths and chinese are the two subjects that i can rely on, and yet i cant fully rely on them now. how sad this is.

i shall go baq and study my chem. not say study. remember those that i will forget aft the exam, and remember them again for o'lvls. great.

haha! i'm here again!! i think i m reallly nutz.. really.. certified by a qualified practitioner.. in this case, it'll be my dear roomate..
holidays in the boarding skul is DAMN boring.. sorry i really have to swear(although i've used this word for.. how many times ald?) i'm like confined to only my room, my bed, my table, and the tv lounge with a small tv. in case u dunno what all these mean, it means NO LIFE. if it were not bcox of prelims, i would have flown back once hols started. and i dunno whether i'm glad that itz going to end soon. i shld be glad cox this will mean no more rotting, but this oso marks the start of my "beloved" prelims.. alright, i want prelims to pass asap.. to end my suffering.. my agony...
wah i speak as though i m having some terminal disease *choi! touch wood* wad agony and suffering..
***
i had this dream abt my ear hole last night. i havent worn any ear accessories for a very long period of time ald, so in my dream, i was preparing to go to some party i think. everything was fine - almost perfect, but as i hooked my earring onto my left ear... it juz wouldnt go in! i repeated the action like a retarded schoolgirl, but the hook juz wouldnt go in through the hole!! argh!! i thot forcing it in would not cause any harm, but i was wrong. indeed. and my left ear bled. so i couldnt go to the party in time.
i woke up juz to find that it was a dream. horrible dream concerning my ear hole. so i've decided to do sth to it. i shall keep my ear holes occupied, be it with studs or rings or sticks. juz nvr nvr let them close. i dun wan to have bleeding ears.
***
today is saturday, but i juz cant help thinking that it is sunday, that i'm gonna have my amathz pp tmr. amathz. how intimidating!! cox i m still so blur in p&c as well as rel vel!! help!!

phew! juz got out of the shaky bus...alright it wasnt that shaky anyway.. i was the big fat pig who went to stick my butt onto the seat directly above the wheels!!! so the entire journey baq from xinying's hse "rocked".
***
i think i start to agree dat the potato chips really brought bad luck. or rather, it brought so "much"luck to the person who held it. haha. b4 i got the potato chips it was nvr my turn. haha wells, truth or dare is that kind of game that no one can say no to it right? ha as usual, u can predict what kind of qns we ppl will ask in the game.. lotz of truth haha.. but i cant say it here.. cox i was not allowed to spit anything out hehe...
but wadever it was, it was fun. oh man, the qn i got was like a qn on my memory la.. hey if u r reading(i think u will anyway), rmb the ice kacang u gave me? haha i told them abt the game we had... OMG so embarrassing la...:) wah luckily they didnt ask when was the first time we held hands or sth like that... oh man i really dunno how to ans if they ever ask me that qn la! u noe right... oh n did i tell u the item we put up for teachers' day was ice kacang oso? yeah when i knew it at first i so amused!!
***
but in the end.. i came back alone... aft so much fun...
xinying i hope u dunnid to do so much cleaning... thx for giving us a plc to have fun...
and joy... hepi bday!!!

haha yay! finally can login ald!! XD!! 2 days without internet really got my hands itchy... hooh!! now my fingers feel so much better(right fingers?)
***
wad do u think of halters? nth much rite? juz another kind of tops. ya exactly! but as i was having lunch, i saw matron walking up to a girl who was wearing a white halter, and told her not to wear like this ard the hostel. what?? whatz wrong with halters now? matron thinks that it is too revealing(maybe), and so doesnt think itz appropriate in the hostel. but look! everyone in the hostel is GIRL!! and itz not like she's wearing bikini... ok, so if halters are not allowed, then wad abt hot shorts? micro mini skirts? arent they more revealing? itz juz how ppl want to dress themselves up, so we shouldnt comment too much, unless itz really very bad, right?
***
going to joy's bdae party tmr... haha.. i wonder who else going?
***
me: goodness ivy! ur prelims are like nxt wk la! and got c lit sommore... still go n play??
me: haiya.. 吊颈也要透一下气 ma!!

若这一束吊灯倾泻下来
或者我已不会存在
即使你不爱
亦不需要分开

若这一刻我竟严重痴呆
跟本不需要被爱
永远在床上发呆
馀生都不会再悲哀

人总需要勇敢生存
我还是重新许愿
例如学会 承受失恋

明年今日别要再失眠
床褥都改变 如果有幸会面
或在同伴新婚的盛宴
徨徨地等待你出现
明年今日未见你一年
谁舍得改变 离开你六十年
但愿能认得出你的子女
临别亦听得到你讲 再见

在有生的瞬间能遇到你
竟花光所有运气
到这日才发现
曾呼吸那运气
(ming nin gam yat, by eason chen)

yeah, ming nin gam yat, where would i be? where would u be? wad would things be?
therez a reason why i like the original version of everything. be it movies, drama series and songs. they still sound better then the translated version. why? i always ask myself not to be biased, but it is so. dun u think so? juz compare diz with shi nian.. diz is far better.

sometimes.. as always.. i dunno wad is wrong wif the world. izit juz me being sensitive and pick up the slightest signal anyone can send? or juz the stupid cow thinks that i m of no more value, no it doesnt really mean anything whether i m present anot...
humans are complex creature. they think. and their thoughts are motion pictures only they themselves can see. u cant see anybody's thoughts. u can only feel it. and i m feeling it.
i feel SICK. sick of it. sick of doing things no one would ever appreciate. ok some ppl are exempted from this accusation. u know who u are. and i m oso sick of keep on contributing, and get all the 'black faces' in return. haloo!! cant u stop only doing things that are benefitial to urselves, and start making some sacrifices? u r not the only one busy studying here!! hoi!!
***
everything is over. wadever.

MissyIvy
A Cynic with passion for
the Art of Sarcasm
Chemist in training

Do Better Nails
World Peace
AIDS Free
most importantly,
Finish Everything ON TIME! and
try not to be late

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