i juz found out dat i din really blogged once i reached ipoh. wadever i blogged b4 diz was kind of mundane, and i even felt sleepy aft reading it. izit dat my life here is so perfect dat i have nth to blog abt? not really. then y? izit dat i dun think enough? hmm... perhaps.
but today is sth to me.
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i initiated a hangout some days ago. but they seemed not quite interested. ha, so much of the
"we'll go shopping together" or
"letz go out when u come baq". blah. ya, these were wad i heard b4 i boarded the bus, and ha! going to skul alone and look like an idiot is wad i get. kind of a disappointment totally, if i were to compare wad i c these few days and the usual 6-ppl grp i used to be in. ok, some ppl are not here atm, but wad abt the rest? *sigh*
sometimes i kind of wonder, time really changes things alot, does it not? it does. or so i feel now. i know they have been quite bc ppl lately, esp with the assignments to be submitted and work to be due when skul reopens. i cant force them to smile at me and hug me and hangout wif me when they are so tied down to their work. workaholics. but i cant help feeling rejected. or maybe not, juz
out of place.*****
went to skul today, saw ms chong. at the sight of her, i felt like her student out of a sudden. dunno y, but chatting wif her is quite fun actually. surprisingly, i found a queer peace. sounds lunatic, doesnt it? *laugh* but datz the only thing i'm satisfied throughout the day. *sigh* i tend to compare this ms chong to that ms chong in sg. great difference. hah.
ms chong said i metamorphosized, from a caterpillar to a butterfly. i nearly laughed my head off. she really rawks the world!
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i had my first ride on motorcycle today! on ks's bike. hah! i think i kinda embarassed myself, but who cares? cox no one is gonna fetch me anymore on bike. they dun even consider my presence. wad for? during the ride to parade, i juz scanned the passing landscape. nth much, most of them were as b4. then i started to think. i felt alot along the way. memories came baq to me, and i start to rmb things i've tried to forget. i believe i've changed, transformed into a better person. i'm no longer the old gal in skul. i have a life. a new life. but i realise i cant forget and forgo things so easily. gah, surrender all of them to time. time will change things.
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he asked me whether he treats his gf badly. i told him to choose btn a breakup or treating her better. i think he's made his choice. i hope itz a good choice. haha, i talk like a grandma.
looking at those in relationships, i really feel quite helpless. how can they say yes so fast, yet until now i'm still pacing to and fro in this particular junction of life. i know high skul relationships dont last for long, datz the reason y i din agree to the request. i dun want to waste time unnecessarily. haiz...sometimes, i really dunno wad to say. wadever i say contradicts each other. i always feel weird when they ask me abt this stuff. though i'll always ans wad i'm asked for, but when it really happens to me, i dunno how to handle. *sigh* am i foolish? or what?
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"people will only know how to appreciate things aft they've lost them." aih... how true...
