Tuesday, July 05, 2011 01:11
It is one thing to feel scared of the unknown and totally another to make lives difficult for others.
Or worse, through your actions (or the lack of), result in people feeling totally under appreciated (or unappreciated).
The Mother is scared of too many unknowns, and the Son has spent too much time and effort pacifying the Mother.
Granted that in fear people behave smaller than they really are, but surely we are made of more than just, for the lack of a better word, wimps? Surely that, after all trials and tribulations of walking through life, we would have learnt to toughen up?
From dietary advises to health supplements, the Son has not stopped trying. Yet every time the issue is brought up the Mother would dismiss the Son, not knowing how those words could potentially be hurtful and insensitive.
And what I observed all these years is that the Mother seems more concerned about opinions of people who - under most circumstances - do not exactly matter, while neglecting the concerns of people who do.
It baffles me the same way it did in my first encounter. Sometimes I accept it the way the Mother is, but most of the time I want to better the current status quo.
Because I don't believe in lowering my own dignity to appease others. Proud, I know I am, because I believe there's a thing called self-worth and that everybody was born with equal amounts of it.
I know I'm risking my status quo by putting up a post like this, but it's really hard to just swallow everything I see happening. And because they matter - the Mother, the Son.
Saturday, June 11, 2011 09:34
From the moment I witnessed with my own eyes how he treated (or MIStreated) the baby, there was no room left for any ounce of respect for this man. Sure, I've heard tales about this man, but none changed my perception as drastic as seeing it happen live.
He's quick to claim credits, and equally quick - if not quicker - to escape blames. I can live with that. The world favours breeds like this, and therefore he thrives in the area he works. He is often boisterous, loud, and sprouting nonsensical stuffs. I can live with that. This can only be attributed to bad upbringing and his parents are dead anyway. Then he always makes belittling remarks, disguised as passing comments, at my boyfriend's family. I told myself to live with it for the time being - I grew up in a family who taught me to thank the person who gives me bread.
But this? Calling the baby names and treating him this way?
If you wanna show favouritism, fine. That's your family business. The baby's parents may not behave like the ideal parents, and yes, they have character flaws as well. So? Does that mean you can take it all out on a 4-month old baby boy who barely knows who you are? Yes, the arrival of this boy may be somewhat untimely, and to you his arrival may even be jeopardizing whatever plans you may have.
Then this is his fault, you'd think? Please, have some common sense. You think the baby gets to choose his parents? You think he gets to choose when to be born? So why are you holding the baby accountable for whatever immature feelings you have? More importantly, why is your anger directed at your grandson?
Sunday, March 27, 2011 11:48
Where do you belong to?
Thursday, March 24, 2011 00:40
Had a mild case of gastric just now, and after eating some porridge I could not fall asleep at all.
I have done lab for many years now, and I have done them with many people. But never have I once felt so highly irritable during experiments like now. Of course I understand that lab partners come in different shapes and sizes so we've got to be accommodating to others' mistakes just like how others have been tolerating my carelessness - don't get me wrong, I really do understand and if you ask me, I think I'm pretty easy-going and chinchai during lab.
But this, THIS, is really beyond me.
First thing, we are supposed to be PARTNERS, which means we are supposed to be WORKING TOGETHER to get things done. Even if the experiment appears to be an experiment from hell, the onus is on us - as the experimenters - to figure a way to make sense out of that, is it not? By coming every time and telling people you don't know this don't know that, I don't see any efforts from you as a PARTNER at all. There is supposed to be communication and mutual work delegation, which means collaboration and synergism. But you are asking about everything, down to the smallest detail which can be easily answered by common sense. Not only do you not contribute, there is minimal initiative from your side. And what actually drove me up the wall is that you stay there and expect instructions and directions. I don't like calling shots; nor am I your boss!
(Honestly, if you're gonna bring that attitude to work and expect your boss to tell you explicitly every single task for the day, you're gonna have to change bosses every now and then)
So never mind if you like being told what to do and what not to do. Then at least, when you're told to do something, you jolly well make sure you get it done. Others not only have to spend extra time telling you explicitly what to do next (which is completely unnecessary if you've got common sense and SOME situation awareness), everybody have to spend more time waiting because you can't execute what you've been told.
And I reiterate, my tolerance is usually not this low.
Every lab day I walk into lab telling myself to be accommodating yet every lab day you challenge my limits.
This Monday was the ultimatum. Like I mentioned earlier, you came into lab emphasizing on how you left your brains at home, and then during preparation we had to spend time looking for a dropper because you did not wash it when I have explicitly told you to do so before I went on to get other apparatus. Yet when everybody was halfway through their preparation you wanted a SWAP? Hello excuse me do you know how inefficient that is? Time had to be spent AGAIN telling you what has happened, what's happening and what's going to happen. And it has to be repeated to make sure it gets into your head, because it's serial dilution and any mistake at the later stages would mean repeating everything right from the start again.
Girl, you want a share in everything, but you can't even do anything properly! If you have problems completing your tasks at hand, why go around making lives difficult for others?
After every lab with you, I actually feel that time could have been better spent, and we could finish earlier. I have never felt like this before with anyone else - that's a first.
Thursday, March 10, 2011 23:46
You don't exactly believe every single thing you hear. Take it with a pinch of salt, you've always been told.
I've heard about the raves, and how it's always the on top of their faves. Most who tried, if not all, have not spoken ill of this product
at all, which - even by my standards - made it sound very convincing that it's as good as gold. Among the most popular compliments I've read are
"it dries in seconds!" "it's THE BEST topcoat EVER!" and
"I never have to worry about ruining my nails before they dry!", but yea, like I said, as impressed as they may sound, take them with a pinch of salt.
Those slightly more well-versed in the manicure topic probably knows what I'm referring to already. Hailed as the Queen of Topcoats, or the world's finest topcoat (from their website), or the OPI-equivalent of topcoats, yes, it's SECHE VITE.
Picture taken from their websiteI knew it works wonders, but what I did not expect was after my first use, I AM A CONVERT!!
Nothing spoils your day the same way as seeing your freshly-done manicure ruined right before you. More drama ensues if you've got intricate designs or swarovski-looking rhinestones that ended up looking like dog poop. You scream at your own carelessness; you stamp your foot with fury like a woman scorned. You may even end up throwing a tantrum at your unsuspecting boyfriend and make him the most unprepared victim of your wrath.
And then you think to yourself: why the
hell did the topcoat take so long to dry!
There are only THREE reasons why topcoats are necessary -
to shine, to protect, and to dry.
Firstly, unless you paint nails for a living, your coats are probably not even, which means light will be scattered in all directions and your nails won't SHINE. Nobody loves a set of lacklustre nails because they make you look sloppy and nobody likes to look sloppy.
Secondly, unless your hands are totally paralyzed, your manicure is bound to bump onto things and is subjected to daily wear and tear, which means bits and pieces will begin to fall off over time(however short). Nobody loves that either because it makes it look like your dog chews your nails as its favourite past-time, and certainly nobody likes to look like dog food.
Lastly, or perhaps most importantly, unless you have 48 hours a day, you can't possibly sit there, do nothing, and wait for your nail polish to dry
completely, hence the immediate need for topcoat. Traditionally, topcoat formula are supposed to be faster-drying compared to usual nail polishes, so that the outer transparent layer dries and hardens faster then then coloured layers beneath. This saves
some of your waiting time, so you can attend to more matters of life and death.
Most topcoats fare pretty well in the first two components, but when it comes to drying time, they fail terribly. And precisely because they can't dry quickly, we usually end up accidentally jabbing our fingers onto surfaces and there goes our mani.
But fret not, Seche Vite to the rescue! With its lightspeed drying ability, you can literally do ANYTHING shortly after application. And for the record,
shortly actually means around 3 seconds at most. Not only does it dry fast, it rearranges itself to form an even coverage over your nail and seals in your manicure like plastic lamination! Awesome or what!
With Seche Vite, I barely waited for half a minute before typing on my keyboard - which was less than one-tenth how long I used to wait.
Now I can really say, MANICURE IS A BREEZE!
Wednesday, March 09, 2011 12:41
Sometimes I find myself having this inexplicable distaste for some people, for no rhyme or reason at all. It's something different from, say, someone who stabs you in the back, or someone who wrongly accuses you, or someone who steals your boyfriend/money. That person can just be there, sitting, talking, laughing or even just breathing - practically not doing anything life-threatening to me.
But the distaste is so apparent that I can't bring myself to sustain a reasonably-lengthy conversation with said person. Not only have I become unusually unfriendly towards said person, people around may even have the impression that said person offended me in some ways, when it clearly isn't the case!
But now I know why.
We are just too similar.
Because we are so similar, every flaw I see in you reminds me of my own. Every inadequacy you show is one disability of mine. Having you around is like having a giant mirror that animates my every shortcoming.
What to do then, I ask myself.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011 23:32
sawatdii kha, khun sabaay dii rer kha?
***
My mind hasn't exactly stopped thinking about matters lately. Wait, before you jump at me for constantly thinking about the unhappy events and making myself miserable, wait. I was actually referring to the deadlines that come one after another.
Right now, I've checked TWO out of the
SEVEN items on my To-Do list.
And to tell you the truth, it feels like I've just cleared 2.4.
Tired TTM.
***
WQ came, and left. That morning we were lamenting on how fast time flies and how soon she had to go, when I said that she was just like the Chinese poet.
"悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来”
--徐志摩,《再别康桥》
And she replied, "但我挥一挥衣袖，带走的不只一片云彩”
Of course, I changed her words a little to make the whole thing sound more like 再别康桥, but yes, she left with many things. And every time I say good bye, something feels missing somewhere.
YOU SEE YOU SEE, YOU ACTUALLY MAKE ME MISS THOSE TIMES WE SHARED.
So I'm actually looking forward to the next time I see you again! See you when I see you!
And get a job soon,
so I can make you belanja me
WITH NO QUALMS WHATSOEVER
hahaha!
P.S. I hope I've written your chinese name correctly!
You know, you didn't exactly do much of your Chinese homework so I'm really relying on faint memory here!
Tuesday, March 01, 2011 21:15
Since I couldn't stop my mind from drifting back to those unpleasant sequence of events, I was looking around my room for something to do to distract myself. And as I rummaged through my stash of make-ups/accessories, the nail polish collection came into sight.
Right in the middle of my 'Vanity Drawer' they were, sitting so comfortably.
And then I had an idea of painting what I felt. Instinctively I grabbed the black Face Shop.
How apt, right.
So this is how my nails look like now:
On Facebook, I named it
黑暗的 花花世界
00:28
鍾意就 hello 你好、唔鍾意就躝思咭路
當我咩吖？
我是张便利贴咩现在 要看你们全部脸色做人啊
我唔LIKE嘅時候有見過我咁擺面色毋?
Sunday, February 27, 2011 23:07
A month ago someone told me that calling people ridiculous names was plain classless. While I did not think those names were unjustified, I did agree that well, okay, that's not very refined and thus can be said as 'classless'.
But I'll tell you what's really classless today. Calling people names, rallying mutual friends against them and probably totally bitching about everything they ever are - all done BEHIND THEIR BACKS, yea baby
THAT'S what classless really looks like.
If I may add, it's not just classless. It is also disdainful, disgusting, and very much despicable.
If I see your face now
I think I'll burn it
When I asked you "What's the problem with
you?" I was giving you the opportunity to speak up. Instead, you said "No, the problem isn't with
me; the problem is with
you."
Okay, tell me about it.
And I was waiting, and waiting, but you didn't go on.
What's the matter? Used up all your balls trying to bitch (or already done so) about me? Or that the
problem-is-with-you type of comeback is the best you can do?
Oops man, you gotta try harder
Because when the ball starts rollin'
I ain't givin' up without a fight.
Really, you can make people out to be as monstrous as they can be - I have witnessed your ability with my very own eyes. So challenge me, bring it on! If you have got the guts to start it in front of everybody, during MY event, I expect you to tell me in my face what my problem is - according to your very not-humble opinion.
Unless of course, your bark is worse than your bite. Well yea, that is if you actually
CAN bite.
你做得初一 就唔好怪我做十五
14:53
原文在
此看了她的缘份篇，突然有联想。
小鹿乱撞通常用来形容男女之间恋爱的心情。可想而知，“小鹿撞死了”也就有受过伤、流过泪、意已冷、心已灰，之后对“爱”这回事也就不抱希望和憧憬。
也许是我们这年代女生看偶像剧太多的缘故吧，总渴望一场轰轰烈烈，可歌可泣的爱情故事。无可否认，女生总希望自己的经历可媲美偶像剧女主角的情节。偏偏事与愿违，那就一次又一次，抱着希望又失望，渐渐的也就变成了失望、心淡。
那次被甩后，过了一段很颓废的日子，也做了一些不好的事。现在回想起来还真有点惭愧。
可是倘若没有当初的无知，又哪来今日的智慧？有时候我们得要先经历一段不好的遭遇，遇到不对的人，或做了一些不对的事，才能够在日后遇上对的人，做对的事。缘份是真的可以很恐怖，我们也不需要去了解它，但是我相信最后的结局会是美好的！
“命运就算颠沛流离
命运就算曲折离奇
命运就算恐吓着你做人没趣味
别流泪心酸更不应舍弃
我愿能一生永远陪伴你” -- 李克勤、谭咏麟 《红日》
被撞死的小鹿，希望你能尽早活过来 (:
Sunday, January 23, 2011 20:01
These two days I have been doing a lot of self-searching, trying hard to spot possible mistakes I've made to have him act the way he did. Perhaps I've really gone over the line some time(s) in the past, thinking that it's a harmless piece of joke.
In any case, the revelation was shocking. Apparently too many a time I've said demeaning things in the name of jokes, and too many a time I've represented him as things/names that just don't do him justice. I know I'm capable of doing things like these, so I stood there and took in everything he said, and hopefully after saying what needed to be said it would make him feel better.
But the main reason I kept quiet was more of the element of shock. I was shocked at the fact that he actually took them to heart. Worse still, all these while I had no idea that these have been pent up.
It's funny how the relationship between two people can undergo drastic changes overnight, as if it's a roller-coaster ride somewhat. But then I'm tired of explaining and reasoning things out - have been doing them excessively this whole week - so I'm just gonna let nature take its course and surrender it all to fate.
Whatever will be, will be. Que Sera Sera.
